I've decided to start my own business! Yes, that's right. Lexi Losch is going into business for herself. I'm a huge fan of educating the kids, so what better way to do that than opening up a center for kids to congregate? Welcome to:
"The Center for Things Lexi Can't Do or Doesn't Do Well but Wants to Teach Kids To Do Good."
Zoolander is my inspiration and I'll be asking him for some start up money.
The idea for this came about on Sunday when discussing my lack of interest for skiing, but that I'd love to teach kids how to ski anyway. Ryan said "But they'd fail." I told him that they wouldn't; that they'd know to do the exact opposite of what I told them to do (pizza.....french fries....). Below, find a list of classes that I'd offer (based on the name of the center):
Skiing (Learn how to put the long things on that take you down a hill or whatever)
Calculus...or any Math for that matter (1+1=2??? Nah, let's look at that again..)
Sports (Wait, basketball DOESN'T have a quarterback??)
Moonwalking (This class may have a size limit based on the instructor)
Drawing (Look, just put the glue on your hands and peel it off, I don't know where the pencils are)
Drinking (They have to learn SOMETIME, right? Why not with a responsible adult?)
Singing ( If Sanjaya can make it, so can you!!)
Fixing Computers (Kick it twice and if it still doesn't work, get the bat)
And this is just the beginning! I'm still looking for sponsors just in case, so if you're willing to help, feel free to send all your money, I mean, a kind donation, to my home address. But I only take cash. Remember, I'm not really all that great with math.
24 March 2009
20 March 2009
MBTA is going the wrong way
Some of the worst feelings in the world are:
Being dumped
Realizing you ran out of toilet paper AFTER you've sat down on the toilet
Waiting for the 20 minute late bus
Today, MBTA, you had not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, BUT 7 BUSES in the span on a 1 1/2 block radius, which tells me, yes, you were NOT running on schedule. You normally don't, but it was exceptionally bad this morning. Luckily I drove in, but there were parties of people at ALL bus stops. There were, on average, about 15 people per bus stop, and those are the stops no one really gets on at either!! This is also in Belmont, MA mind you, not even downtown Boston. In other words, MBTA, you suck. You really suck. You seriously can't raise fares without making positive changes to your performance. If you can't even balance a schedule, there's no wonder why you and Deval can't balance the budget. Get it together. Srsly.
Being dumped
Realizing you ran out of toilet paper AFTER you've sat down on the toilet
Waiting for the 20 minute late bus
Today, MBTA, you had not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, BUT 7 BUSES in the span on a 1 1/2 block radius, which tells me, yes, you were NOT running on schedule. You normally don't, but it was exceptionally bad this morning. Luckily I drove in, but there were parties of people at ALL bus stops. There were, on average, about 15 people per bus stop, and those are the stops no one really gets on at either!! This is also in Belmont, MA mind you, not even downtown Boston. In other words, MBTA, you suck. You really suck. You seriously can't raise fares without making positive changes to your performance. If you can't even balance a schedule, there's no wonder why you and Deval can't balance the budget. Get it together. Srsly.
18 March 2009
I repeat, NO I'm not interested
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Around 2:30pm-ish
Offender: Barnes and Noble employee(s)
Offense: Let me provide you with a background story first. (In Miami, Barnes and Noble was usually my choice of book vendor. They were usually in a place where I happened to be when out for the day, so I would make a special effort to make my way to B&N. Because of this, I signed up for the Membership, which was $25 for the year, which provided me with significant savings. It was worth it then. Ryan and I then moved to Boston and he signed up for a membership at the Coop for $2 and he gets money back at the end of each year for savings. We also go to Borders. I also now go to the Boston Public Library because the library here is awesome and it's free, so I like saving money. Therefore, we did NOT renew our B&N membership.)
This past Sunday, we both decided to buy a few books at B&N. I bought 3 and Ryan bought 2. We checked out separately because if we didn't, it would have been $100 or more on someone's bank card. No biggie. I go to check out first and the employee starts to ring up my purchases. She then says "Do you have a Barnes and Noble membership card with us?" I replied "No I don't." She says "Hmm. Well you should sign up for one, you'd save money today." I said "I don't want to, but thank you." What happened next scared me a little and if you've seen the movie "Coraline," this woman turned into The Other Mother. She then says "WELL YOU'D SAVE AT LEAST $8 IF YOU SIGNED UP FOR ONE!! I don't understand why you aren't signing up for one." (Just like The Other Mother didn't understand why Coraline didn't want buttons sewn into her eyes!!!) I looked at her stunned, swiped my card and said "Um, I don't want one. Can you check me out please?" She then rolls her eyes and says "Ok, FINE. That'll be $48.75. It'd be alot less if you signed up for a membership." I cut my eyes at her, put in my pin, took my books, and said "Thanks, have a good day!" I walked back to Ryan who was checking out at this point and I walked into a conversation he was having with the other B&N employee. The employee was saying "Well why don't you give me the phone number of a relative, a friend, anyone. I bet they have a card." (The employee apparently said to Ryan before I walked over: "I KNOOOWWWW you have a Barnes and Noble membership card. I just know you do." Ryan said "Uh, no I don't and I'm not interested.") So as he was asking for a phone number, Ryan said "No. No one I know. No one. I just want to check out." The guys says "Well you'd save-" I cut in and said "No. Let's go. Cmon. We have to go." Ryan swiped his card as the guy was saying "Well you would have saved some money today." He took his books and we hustled out the store. We got outside and literally both said "OH MY GOD!!!!! Did you HEAR that???!" We ranted about it for a good 5 minutes, deducing that we don't go there enough to make the savings for the year worthwhile, that the woman was an extreme, expired douchebag, and that we were violated.
Verdict: Both employees are guilty of "Membership Pushing/Dealing" and must serve 6 months in the Boston Public Library learning how a free membership to a library saves money and makes people smile. Also, 1,000 hours of community service at Panera, learning how to make my breakfast sandwiches the right way.
Around 2:30pm-ish
Offender: Barnes and Noble employee(s)
Offense: Let me provide you with a background story first. (In Miami, Barnes and Noble was usually my choice of book vendor. They were usually in a place where I happened to be when out for the day, so I would make a special effort to make my way to B&N. Because of this, I signed up for the Membership, which was $25 for the year, which provided me with significant savings. It was worth it then. Ryan and I then moved to Boston and he signed up for a membership at the Coop for $2 and he gets money back at the end of each year for savings. We also go to Borders. I also now go to the Boston Public Library because the library here is awesome and it's free, so I like saving money. Therefore, we did NOT renew our B&N membership.)
This past Sunday, we both decided to buy a few books at B&N. I bought 3 and Ryan bought 2. We checked out separately because if we didn't, it would have been $100 or more on someone's bank card. No biggie. I go to check out first and the employee starts to ring up my purchases. She then says "Do you have a Barnes and Noble membership card with us?" I replied "No I don't." She says "Hmm. Well you should sign up for one, you'd save money today." I said "I don't want to, but thank you." What happened next scared me a little and if you've seen the movie "Coraline," this woman turned into The Other Mother. She then says "WELL YOU'D SAVE AT LEAST $8 IF YOU SIGNED UP FOR ONE!! I don't understand why you aren't signing up for one." (Just like The Other Mother didn't understand why Coraline didn't want buttons sewn into her eyes!!!) I looked at her stunned, swiped my card and said "Um, I don't want one. Can you check me out please?" She then rolls her eyes and says "Ok, FINE. That'll be $48.75. It'd be alot less if you signed up for a membership." I cut my eyes at her, put in my pin, took my books, and said "Thanks, have a good day!" I walked back to Ryan who was checking out at this point and I walked into a conversation he was having with the other B&N employee. The employee was saying "Well why don't you give me the phone number of a relative, a friend, anyone. I bet they have a card." (The employee apparently said to Ryan before I walked over: "I KNOOOWWWW you have a Barnes and Noble membership card. I just know you do." Ryan said "Uh, no I don't and I'm not interested.") So as he was asking for a phone number, Ryan said "No. No one I know. No one. I just want to check out." The guys says "Well you'd save-" I cut in and said "No. Let's go. Cmon. We have to go." Ryan swiped his card as the guy was saying "Well you would have saved some money today." He took his books and we hustled out the store. We got outside and literally both said "OH MY GOD!!!!! Did you HEAR that???!" We ranted about it for a good 5 minutes, deducing that we don't go there enough to make the savings for the year worthwhile, that the woman was an extreme, expired douchebag, and that we were violated.
Verdict: Both employees are guilty of "Membership Pushing/Dealing" and must serve 6 months in the Boston Public Library learning how a free membership to a library saves money and makes people smile. Also, 1,000 hours of community service at Panera, learning how to make my breakfast sandwiches the right way.
12 March 2009
Forever Indeed
Please don't let this turn into something it's notI can only give you everything I've gotI can't be as sorry as you think I shouldBut I still love you more than anyone else couldAll that I keep thinking throughout this whole fightIs it could take my whole damn life to make this rightThis splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me longBecause I know fine well that what I did was wrong
04 March 2009
Florida
Things I miss about Florida:
The beach
Arroz con pollo from La Carreta
Sun
Sun showers
University of Miami
Sunday brunch at 94th Aero Sqaudron
Lincoln Road
Bayside
Going to the beach in the "winter"
Flip flops all year round
Football (UM, no Dolphins please, thanks)
Orlando being in close distance
The easy awarding of drivers licenses
Party boats all year round
No state taxes
Things I DON'T miss about Florida:
The rest of the state besides South Florida
University of Florida
Florida State University
Hurricanes
The ease of awarding drivers licenses
Getting caught in the rain at any random moment of the day
Santa's Enchanted Forest traffic
Los Cubanos who lived 2 doors down from me
Hialeah
Metro-Rail
The Trick-Daddy's of every ghetto neighborhood
The beach
Arroz con pollo from La Carreta
Sun
Sun showers
University of Miami
Sunday brunch at 94th Aero Sqaudron
Lincoln Road
Bayside
Going to the beach in the "winter"
Flip flops all year round
Football (UM, no Dolphins please, thanks)
Orlando being in close distance
The easy awarding of drivers licenses
Party boats all year round
No state taxes
Things I DON'T miss about Florida:
The rest of the state besides South Florida
University of Florida
Florida State University
Hurricanes
The ease of awarding drivers licenses
Getting caught in the rain at any random moment of the day
Santa's Enchanted Forest traffic
Los Cubanos who lived 2 doors down from me
Hialeah
Metro-Rail
The Trick-Daddy's of every ghetto neighborhood
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