27 May 2010

Transformers 3: Return of the Man Thumbs

So I have this habit of watching movies on actual tv, even when we have them on DVD and I could totally pop the DVD in and watch it sans commercials. Instead, I choose to watch the edited version on tv, which is exactly what I did last night in a tank top and underwear with a plate of meatloaf on my lap (yes I was a happy lady).

"Transformers" was on ABC last night and since I liked it enough, I watched it. I figured I'd only watch it until ManLosch got home, but we ended up in deep discussion about Optimus Prime (which by the way, is a GREAT name for a child). And then I saw them. The man thumbs. I was like, "Wait a minute, Eva Mendes isn't in this movie!" IT'S MEGAN FOX! MEGAN FOX HAS MAN THUMBS. Holy crap.

25 May 2010

Lexi's Take on the "Lost" Finale

Honestly, my opinion didn't change. I'm still lost. Lost left me lost. I gathered that people were dead and that relationships between people matter. Other than that, I still have a ton of questions. Maybe someone can help answer why the kidnapping of the children in like Season 2 was so significant, or why women couldn't have babies on the island. Anyone.....anyone?

I dedicated the last 5 years of my life to this show only to be left with alot of unanswered questions. Which I guess makes it a success, because Lost wouldn't be Lost if they didn't leave us confused.

I'm now still going to go with my Muppet theory. They're all dead Muppet Babies now.

24 May 2010

Lost Finale

Did you watch it last night?

DID YOU WATCH IT LAST NIGHT?

I don't know what to think yet. Let me do some more research and get back to you. I dunno. How 'bout leaving a ton of other shit unanswered? Jeeeeeez.

18 May 2010

Joe vs. A Crappy Education

Welcome to the very first post that includes my father (blogging family meet Joseph Franklin). We had a very animated conversation while I was waiting in the airport terminal today.



  • Dad: So yea, she told me she was going down to Texas for her daughter's graduation, from DeVry (laughs).
  • Me: What is so hilarious? Why are you laughing?
  • Dad: I mean, cmon. DeVry? I didn't go to school, but I'm not that dumb. DeVry?
  • Me: It's still an education, stop being so mean.
  • Dad: Oh PLEASE. It's like the different between a real chicken wing and a fake chicken wing. You know a fake chicken wing when you get one.
  • Me: Um, did you just equate the quality of someone's education to a CHICKEN WING??
  • Dad: I didn't equate nothin. I'm just sayin, I can write a degree too and throw it in the trash can for someone else to pick up and say they got a degree.
  • Me: Oh my god Dad.

17 May 2010

This One Time....

..let me tell you a little story about how me paying it forward did NOT work (and maybe i need to give it more time)....

So I had a nice aisle seat on this flight, from ATL to SA. I sat and realized the woman next to me was not sitting next to her husband, so I asked her, "Would you and your husband like to sit together?" She said, "Really? You don't mind?" I said, "No, not at all." She asked him and he thanked me a few times. I took his window seat two rows up. No biggie.

A woman sits next to me with her baby and her young daughter. I think to myself "It's ok Lex. You always get stuck near the babies, but it'll be cool, no worries." Well we're sitting here, leaving the gate and the baby starts to cry. What I'm about to tell you next may or may not surprise you but it shocked the HELL out of me.

The woman pulls up her shirt and begins to breastfeed her baby. What? Just like that? While on the plane? In front of everyone? Yes sir. It was just out and proud. So I try to close my eyes and take a nap. I wake up right around the drink service, which is perfect timing. The child is asleep. But then he wakes up. Solution? More boob. Oh wait, what's that I smell? His diaper. And it reeks. She'll change it soon right? Nope. Instead, she gives the kid some V8 and crackers to fill up the already shit filled diaper. He fidgets some more. Whips out the boob. He falls asleep for a bit, but wakes up. She proceeds to NOT change the diaper, but give him cold french fries. He cries more, whips out the boob again. Doesn't work. More crackers.

Please, someone help me. I can't handle this anymore. I thought I was being nice by giving up my seat, and I hope pay it forward doesn't forget about me today or tomorrow even. I try to be a nice person. Instead, I got repaid with a diaper full of shit and a random tit in 23B.

Here's a fun little exchange though about this event (that's still occuring as I type this):


  • Esperanza: You dummy, quit looking.
  • Me: i can smell the diaper too and its NOT the goodies
  • Esperanza: they are working...EWWWWWWW.
  • Me: Esperanza, I'm NOT! But she's sitting right next to me!! And her tits are big.
  • Esperanza: I know working boobs are loud. And planes are little.
  • Me: and she just whips it out like solution for all worldly problems, i promise im not staring.
  • Esperanza: Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico?
  • Me: im looking straight ahead, but it keeps finding its way out.
  • Esperanza: LMAO OMG YOU KNOW YOU LAUGHED
  • Me: no because all i can do is smell shit and it's REPULSIVE.
  • Esperanza: the oil or her boobs?
  • Me: i think once she gave him the V8 it turned into diarrhea.
  • Esperanza: my first solution would be a didee change. always. smell didee? change.
  • Me: but yes, solution for oil spill is HILARIOUS.

airTran FAIL

I'm on a plane to Atlanta and I'm ultimately headed to San Antonio. While lifting my own bag into the overhead compartment, I grabbed my netbook first so I wouldn't have to be all up in the aisle trying to fish for it later. Well, in the process of doing that, I sliced my finger on a work folder I had next to my netbook and it wasn't a little papercut. This was a slice in which blood started to come out rapidly. So I calmly placed my bag in the overhead and called a flight attendant over.

I asked her, "Excuse me, but would you happen to have a band-aid?" She replies, "No, I'm sorry I don't." So I wait and walk to the back to the restrooms to at least wash it off and apply some pressure with a paper towel. While waiting for one of the lavatories to open up, I stare right at a sticker labeled "First Aid." REALLY BITCH? You didn't have a band-aid, yet I'm staring at your first-aid kit????

FAIL.

09 May 2010

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mamas of the World,

You rock. You bring kids into the world (even though I think they are snot-nosed little brats) and you even raise when when they are 30 years old and shit. Some of you make awesome lunches and some of you should have stopped sending their daughters to school with warm tuna (ahem...MOM....coughcough). Some of you sacrificed everything to give your kids everything. Some of you raised us by yourselves. No matter what the circumstances, mothers of this beautiful planet, you are loved. Even when we fuck up and do some REALLY stupid shit, we love the hell out of you.

So Happy Mother's Day. You're awesome.

Love,
LaLosch

07 May 2010

Maybe Fly List

Okay, I'm sorry, but I HAVE to rant about this. So I'm sure you've all heard about the guy who left the car bomb in the middle of Times Square which started Saturday. He also drove a different car to Times Square before that as his getaway car, but left his keys in the bomb car (wow, dummy). Anyway, on Monday, he boarded a flight to Dubai and was arrested there.

Here is my number one issue with this story.
He was on the NO FLY LIST.

If homeboy was on the no fly list, HOW THE FUCK DID HE BOARD A PLANE?!?! How did he even get that far? And hi, did anyone think it was strange that he paid for his ticket in cash? Yes, well finally, someone thought that was odd and contacted airport security about it, but he was still on the plane. He paid for his ticket in cash, even when his name was on the no fly list at that point in time.

Please everyone. I really need you to get it together. That is NOT excusable. That is NOT ok. That is NOT the goodies. I am a tax paying American, I do my due diligence, I do what I can to help others. Why can't I pay you to make me feel safe? Wait, I WAS doing that but you were just failing at your job for the time being.

Major fail. Rant over.

05 May 2010

Is It A Video Game Or...?????

ManLosch and I went to the movies on Sunday. We love the previews. So a preview comes on and I say, "Hmm this looks more like the commercials for the Marines or Navy, etc." As we continue to watch it...oh...oh wait, NO. It's actually a commercial for a video game. We both mentioned how so many commercials these days that are for video games look like it's a recruitment video for the military. It's slightly disturbing.

Actually it's ALOT disturbing. I'm disturbed that we've deemed it acceptable to show games and things we can control like a military commercial. If only we could send soldiers in virtually and fight war virtually, things would be ALOT easier on this country. I'm just not able to accept the fact that video game commercials and military commercials are too similar.

Rant over, I'm gonna stop now. :)

01 May 2010

Don't Drink The Water

What a gorgeous day today was! I wore a nice skirt and tank top out, flip flops, etc. Then I get to come home to find out that the governor declared a state of emergency in Massachusetts. We can't drink any water unless it's boiled or bottled. There was some big ass leak somewhere and it's affecting 2 million people east of the city of Weston.

We went to the store just to buy a few bottles, as naturally, we're hurricane survivors, we have no problem boiling water and OMG it was INSANITY. We also did our weekly food shopping but people were so confused about why there wasn't any water. Uh, HELLO? State of emergency usually means people freak out. So when you go to the store a few hours after it's been announced, don't expect to find what you're looking for and then curse the store manager out when you can't get any bottled water. Please crawl back into your hole and don't come back out. Thanks.

Well, this is just a good excuse to start drinking milk now, isn't it?