I Got Sucked In

Yes it's a sad state of affairs. I watch "All My Children" now.

Don't judge me.

I love this show! And guess what? I have a friend who watches it too, so we always talk about what's happening. Look here's the deal: it's like Grey's Anatomy, only it's on EVERY DAY! I love it. It's beautiful. This is what happens when you're home alone with an infant for 14 weeks. You go crazy. I got tired of talking to myself and only getting spit up as a form of conversation from Jovie, so I sought an outlet. And that outlet is AMC.

Go on. Give it a try. There is so much weird, dirty drama that you'll say "Wow. My life is great" or "Ooo where did she get that dress from?" So in addition to fake drama, I get style ideas to hide my little belly pooch.

You know you want to think about it. It's ok. I won't judge you. Come back and tell me what you think. :-)

Day 15

Five Things I Need To Say

1. How did we end up the way we did?
2. The solution that helped your baby may not help mine. I just need your understanding sometimes, not telling me what is best. What's best is what's best for MY baby.
3. If I tell you to do something, please just do it. It's rare that I tell someone to do something, and sometimes, when I "suggest you try" something, it really means do it.
4. It makes me sad that I've barely listened to music the last 3 months. Yes, I know it's for a reason,  but it still upsets me.
5. I'm a skinny bitch. Get over it. I've always been thin and I always will be. I can't control it. It's genetics. Now stop calling me anorexic or too thin and take a look at your own damn body. I don't call you fat do I? No because I'm not insensitive and I probably think you are beautiful anyway. So stop making me feel like I don't take care of myself and that I'm not beautiful and perfect the way God made me. I don't need to eat a hamburger. I need you to STFU.

Day 14

Five Ways To Win My Heart

1. Cook dinner for me (preferably something with seafood and I'll be hooked).
2. Actively listen to what I'm saying and respond appropriately.
3. Ask me to marry you (I mean cmon, what'd you expect)
4. Kick my chair, rub glue on my arm, and call me a fartface.
5. Make me laugh all the time. Even in my sleep.

Day 13

Five Ways To Make You Cry

1. Say you don't love me anymore.
2. Tell me that no one in my trifecta of men would ever date me.
3. Trip me and let me fall on concrete.
4. Knock me up and watch the hormones flow.
5. Failing at anything.

Day 12

Five Bad Things About You

1. I'm extremely stubborn.
2. I have a hard time forgiving those that have really wronged me.
3. I'm still not too sure about this whole motherhood thing.
4. I laugh at others expense (not all the time, but c'mon when you wear a zebra print catsuit and you weigh 400lbs, it's like asking for commentary).
5. My patience is always thin. ALWAYS.