The Break-Up, Part Trois

Regular yoga night tonight! I got a nice spot in the back. A girl who seemed normal enough placed her mat next to mine. After about 15 minutes, I said to myself "What's that smell??" It seemed to go away for awhile. Then it came back, so I'm like really..wtf is that smell?

Oh hey, I recognize that smell. It's that all too familiar scent of alcohol and shame. The whore next to me had come to yoga from her Saint Patty's Day festivities. Barf. Thanks for that. Shortly thereafter in Extended Child's Pose:, I heard another woman groan to Jill(yoga instructor), "How did you know I needed that? Oooooo.....oh yea....mmmmmmm" WTF?! She just helped her fit into the pose better but instead she sounded as if she were having the world's best orgasm (yea I was a tad jealous).

It's ok, I had my chance soon thereafter. During Pigeon Pose, I needed a better place to rest my head. She walked around and told me in the most soothing voice "You can already place your head on the floor, always do what is comfortable for you" and she totally rubbed my back. In that moment, I totally fell in love with my yoga teacher. I imagined bringing her home and introducing her to ManLosch as my new lady lover ("ManLosch meet Jill. We fell in love during Pigeon Pose) and then realized that I wasn't in love so much as really relaxed. After having a REAL good session tonight, she ends with "Namaste" and then busts out with the information that this will be her last yoga class at the BSC.

WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?! Huh? Wait, Jill. C'mon. Let's talk about this. I-I thought we had a connection! She then said that she got a full time job so she won't be able to teach the class anymore, but took our email addresses for a possible retreat and may teach a class in the future. I was in shock and mad because she's so awesome. She was talking to another woman as I was about to walk out and then waved at me and said "Thanks so much for always coming to my class, did you sign up on my list?" I said yes and asked a few more quick questions but the woman she was talking to was giving me the death stare as if I PURPOSELY interrupted their conversation. Look whore #2, she talked to ME. You aren't the only one in the room.

Why Jill? Why? I'll do anything; I'll come on a different night, I'll even swim in the pool and mess up my hair. All to get you to stay. Please?? :-(