Are We Breaking Up? Part 2

Dear Comcast,

I'm sorry it had to be this way, but it's just not working out anymore. Yes, ManLosch and LaLosch are moving on from you. It's time. I'm going to need you to calmly take back your DVR and your Cable HD Box and move on out of our lives. I think we need a break.

No...please. Stop. Get your vile prices off of us. It wasn't meant to be. Can't you see that? We've matured and realized that our bank accounts have not. And you aren't willing to compromise with us anymore. What?.....Yes. It's not even close to us. It's definitely all you. You suck at life. What's that?......Why do you need to know if it's someone else? That's none of your business. Can't you see it's just not working out between us anymore? Okay fine. Yes, there IS someone else. It's name is Verizon FiOS and they are offering us better prices, supposed faster internet service, and a few more HD channels. It's for the best right now. They are willing to work with us and they are giving us a few free months of HBO and Showtime too. You gave us shitty "Starz." Who the hell watches Starz anyway?! Right. No one.

We can set up a time for you to come pick up your things, but let's make this as pain free and easy as possible. We all knew this was coming. You can't be surprised. Excuse me? Did you just call me a b*tch? That's alright. You're just angry. Take your boxes and be gone. It's over. Like, REALLY OVER.

Yours in Christ,
The Loschs