Things Lexi Can Do Without

I've decided to start a column, maybe weekly, or maybe when I just feel like posting, about things that I can do without. Things that happen to come across my day or desk or my LIFE that I'd prefer just found their way into the trash, in space, or maybe never existed at all. Today, I had a few of those encounters, but let me share one with you now.

#1
"Peace Be With You" during Catholic Mass
Don't get me wrong. I like Mass. Ok, let me take that back. I like going to Mass for the chance to see how messed up other people are, which COMPLETELY defeats the purpose of going to Mass. ManLosch is Catholic and a little more devout than I am (I took the adult religious ed classes a few years ago to actually just acquire an organized religion for the first time in my life). He goes every Sunday and I go every Sunday that I can wake up without feeling groggy. Anyway, I digress. So you know the part during Mass where you're supposed to turn to your neighbor and "offer them a sign of peace?" You shake their hands, some people hug and say "Peace Be With You" or just "Peace." Some people even go so far as having conversations.

Yea, I HATE this part. I told this to ManLosch one day and he said "What? You don't like offering people peace?" And it's not that. I DO wish peace upon people. So why do I need to vocalize it? Why can't I just keep it to myself? Better yet, since we're supposed to be believing in a higher power, why can't you just TRUST me that I worked it out with Jesus up there to wish you and yours a sign of peace? Do you really need me to shake your hand and awkwardly smile? Especially you, with the hand that I KNOW just changed the diaper or wiped your kid's saliva ridden mouth. Ew.

Know what else I can do without? When some churches make you turn around right before Mass starts just to say "Hi" to your neighbor. What is with the double "Peace Be With You?" I don't think so. You're going to have to choose when you want me to say what's up and wish you peace. It's not happening twice. Especially if your kid just kicked the back of my foot while I was trying to pray peacefully before Mass. You can actually expect NO peace-wishing for you. Maybe just a piece of my foot up your........

Yea.