In Case of an Emergency

In case of an emergency crash landing on the ground or in water where the plane will most likely immediately break into millions of pieces or submerge itself in water, please remember, NO SMOKING AT ALL TIMES.

In the event of such crash, remember:
Cross your arms on the seat in front of you if you are a minority.
If no one is sitting next to you, wrap your arms around your legs in such yoga position and stare at your awesome shoes that you got on sale at DSW.
If traveling with a small child, remember to yoke the kid up by his neck and force it down. Pressing down onto the back of the child's head will ensure definite survival while you burn.
If you are expecting and traveling, well uh....grabbing the back of the seat isn't going to really help you. But no effort is gone unnoticed. At least you were not caught smoking and you earned some double miles today.

Thanks for flying with us, but you really shouldn't have choosen us today. Sorry about that. The drink service will begin when the cans and bottles are flying down the aisles uncontrallably.





(P.S. Thanks to everyone who commented on the "Damn You Karma" blog. I used www.random.org again. Congrats to Stefanie! You'll be receiving a $15 gift card from Target shortly.)