There's this whole Occupy (insert cause or city here) craze/business going on right now. Protests left and right. So I thought, "Hey, can I protest everytime I feel something isn't right? Can I camp outside a place that I personally feel may be unjust?" Now if the answer was yes...boy....you effer's would be in ALOT of trouble.
1) Occupy Walmart: You NEVER have rollback prices on tampons. Or pads. Or anything else I NEED. But you keep rolling back prices on curtains, pillows, and "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles." Right, shit that no one wants. I'm over it. Occupied.
2) Occupy Babies R Us: Just let me use the three 20% off coupons that I have please. If you don't want to take 20% of each item , then stop sending me all these damn coupons in the mail. Occupied.
3) Occupy Starbucks: Your coffee is NOT worth my first born and my soul. Bring down the prices. Dunkin had great coffee too and charged MUCH less. Occupied.
4) Occupy Texas Catholic Churches: The homily is not meant for a tutorial on how to fill out the annual appeal application and forcing me to donate money that I don't even HAVE right now. Also, I'm tolerable of "Respect for Life" month, but when you start comparing abortion to September 11th and the Holocaust (2 different churches mind you), I'm already over it. Occupied.
5) Occupy I-35: Interstate 35 is the worst. It will be the death of me. So because it's congested every morning and afternoon and just generally AWFUL, is it ok if I just stop my car in a lane, turn my car off, and protest? I mean traffic can go around me right? Occupied.
4) That is scary cult like BS. Find a new church. And poop in a pew before you leave. That is how you occupy!
ReplyDeleteOMG I love how BRU sends those coupons, only they don't apply to anything you'd actually need for your baby.
ReplyDelete