To my Jovie

Baby girl,

I don't even know where I should start. It's like a love letter but for a toddler I suppose. Jovie, I can't believe that you are 1 today, can you? No, because you won't remember this. You put us through so much this year that I don't even know where to begin. You were stubborn from the start.

We didn't want to know if you were a boy or a girl. We waited patiently. But I had so many emotional outburts during my pregnancy that I should have known that you were a girl. You were a drama queen from the start. You were born at 6:03pm. 7lbs, 2oz, 19 inches. You stopped breathing 10 minutes later. You fought breastfeeding and then food altogether. Wasn't quick enough, wasn't good enough. You were a diva.

Turned out that the early feeding issues were linked to reflux and a milk allergy. We had a rough go JoLo. I suffered. You suffered. I screamed and cried all through your first month and I couldn't wait to go back to work. I was convinced you hated us. I should have trusted my instinct with you all along and taken you to the doctor for tummy troubles. But we went, and you were a new baby.

You started to grow, develop...turn into a true infant before my eyes. I was so attached to you I would barely let anyone hold you for longer than a few seconds. Went back to work and it was nice being back, having adult conversations but oh, the pain of missing your warm body.

Jovie, I moved you from Massachusetts to Texas to provide a better life for you. So we could afford to live the way we wanted. You're in daycare now and thriving. We're rebuilding again. But you're so strong and resilient that you've handled every change with as much grace as a 1 year old can have (which is barely any...baby grace I suppose). We get comments all the time about how happy you are and how smart you are. And you make me proud each and every single day.

Baby girl, today you turned 1. And as you sleep soundly in your crib to awake to just another December day tomorrow remember this: I have never been more proud of anything in my entire life than I am to be your mother. You make the world go 'round for me and your father. You make my bad days whole again. You make me feel accomplished and that I'm leading a purpose-driven life. You are my purpose, you are my love.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Love always,
Mama (or in your own speak, "Mum mum mum mamamama")