Holidaaaaaaaaaaay

It's here. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Or as I like to call it, "FriWednesday." You can feel the buzz of excitement at work, hoping to get let out early. The frustration or elation of packing up your car to go visit family. And Black Friday (which I never dare bother with).

I love Thanksgiving; I go all out with the cooking. But the Friday after is sometimes the best because that's when ManLosch and I pull out the Christmas decorations, put on some music, and start decorating the apartment. One year, I would like our apartment to look like something the Griswold's would have put up ("Why is the carpet wet TODD??? I don't know MARGO!!") but until we have enough space for that to happen, we'll settle for the smaller decorations placed around the entire apartment.

I've got alot of reading, writing, and sleeping on my agenda this weekend. Feel free to stop by and lounge around with me. Watch a movie. If you're driving, be safe; no texting and driving and use a handsfree device if you have to talk kids. I don't need to get a call in the middle of my night that some deer jumped out in front of your car and kidnapped your boyfriend or girlfriend because you were too busy texting your friends. Bring me some pie back or something too. And a Snuggie.

Did You Forget To Share The Road??

Don't you remember me asking people to "Share The Damn Road?" I asked you, yes you, the bicyclist to share the road with me while I drive.

But I must extend this to a few other people as well. Are you listening? Because this is important. Minivans, I am asking you to SHARE THE ROAD. This morning, as I was driving down School Street:
(See the smile on my face?)
And I was slowing down because I was driving down a hill and coming towards a red light. A minivan was at a side street waiting to turn right onto the street:

Instead of waiting for me to safely brake behind the next car, the minivan decided to peel around the corner causing me to jam on my brakes and yell a long string of profanities:



This is why no one likes you minivan. I'd also like to throw in Subaru's and Volvo's when there are kids on board. Just because you are transporting children, does NOT give you the right to turn at your leisure, choose your own speed limit, and drive in between two lanes. Normally though, on a daily basis, I hate minivans. ManLosch has a stronger hatred of minivans, whereas before I could tolerate them, but today, minivan douche, you have been placed on my shitelist.

Also, bicyclist on my blindspot on the left side of my car, I CANNOT SEE YOU. Don't ride that close to my car. I drive a truck (well, an SUV/truck..a hybrid if you may) and I have no problem pummeling your ass, which is exactly what could have happened if I didn't do a double take while turning left from my lane.

One more time everyone and let's say it together: SHARE THE M&*$%^$%ING ROAD!!!!!

Why I Like Work

Okay, so sometimes I have these moments at work with my friend J (Punch-A-Pony) that make me laugh inside and sometimes laugh outside. He sends me this link online today:
http://shine.yahoo.com/event/thanksgiving/5-no-cook-thanksgiving-appetizers-546459/

And the following quick conversation ensues:

J: make me the turkey!
L: what? no.
J: YES!

woman...get in the kitchen and make me some pie!

L: you nerd

J: respect my authority

L: respect my fat ass.

J: exactly

These are sometimes, the bright spots of my days. Thanks J. :)

So 10 people commented on my blog and I used www.random.org to generate a random drawing for everyone. Each person that commented was assigned a number based on when they commented on the post. I used those 1-10 numbers and the magic number is 8! So congrats JK! You'll be receiving your $10 iTunes gift card very shortly.

I'll be doing one more random drawing before the end of the month is over since this one actually worked. Keep an eye out for the next giveaway!

It's The Most Expensive Time Of The Year

I've been doing alot of thinking lately about what to get people for Christmas. Usually, I don't start to recognize Christmas until AFTER Thanksgiving, but thanks to the holiday overload America puts us on (Christmas music on the radio right after Halloween, lights up, decorations already lit and prominent, Christmas trees available weeks ago), you kinda don't have a choice BUT to start thinking about it. Which also led me to think, "Damn Gina, I ain't got NO money!!"

So what kind of gifts do you buy for people when you're strapped for cash yourself? I thought, "Everyone will think I'm lame." But I took a moment to realize that I shouldn't be scoffed at for trying to save my own money or spending that money on something that will benefit ManLosch and I in the long run. I work hard for my paycheck and I'll be damned if I spend all of it on frivolous gifts this year. So I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to be creative with gifts this year. No, there will be no nasty fruitcakes and shit. But I hope to bring smiles to faces, per usual.

Know what else sucks? My birthday is 5 days after Christmas. So here are the excuses I get:
"Hey Lex, Christmas was 5 days ago, so here is your birthday AND Christmas gift!"
"Eh, I'm tired from the family gatherings and I'm going out tomorrow for New Year's Eve, so I'm going to opt out of going out with you tonight."

So guess what? Remember that gift I gave you on your birthday or on Christmas? Count that as both. I'm a recessionista, what can I say?

I can't wait for the holidays!

I <3 Brookline Booksmith

There is an independent bookseller in Brookline called Brookline Booksmith. The Augusten Burrough's event was held through them (his holiday book is just DELIGHTFUL INDEED) and I bought my book there. I also bought a bargain book from them at the Boston BookFair. So I figured, this must be a good store, let me check it out.

Well I also found out that they buy used books too. I brought in some old paperback chick lit books today just to see if they'd buy them back and I was given the option of about $12 or $17 in store credit. STORE CREDIT PLEASE! Their used book area downstairs is AMAZING and they have great bargain books upstairs too. I bought 4 books today and with the credit, only spent $4. I left completely in love with this place. Like dizzy in love. Can you be dizzy in love with a bookstore? I don't know, but I am.

Now excuse me, I have some reading to attend to.

Kathy, it's you. Not me.

I went to Panera for a salad today for lunch to go with my soup that Jared (Punch-A-Pony) made and brought in last night. I got to the register and noticed that Kathy was working today. Kathy is an older woman...like 70 or 75 maybe. If she's only 50, then she's had ALOT of hardships in her life.

Anyway, there was a gentleman already giving her his order. And as usual, she was slower than molasses. I moved around a bit. I looked at the manager behind the counter in hopes that he'd come over and take my order at a different register. No such luck. He just gave me this look like "Damn, I'm sorry you got Kathy."

So she finally gets to me and I give her my order and she says "What did you say you wanted?" You gotta be kidding me right? I re-state my order and then she says, "What's your name?" I say "Alexis." Wanna know how she spelled it?

A-I-E-X-I-S (I will post a picture of the receipt later.)

C'mon Kathy. I know it wasn't the way I said it. I'm going to need you to step it up, or um...well....we'll see. I may complain. At least my Greek salad was right. Kathy, we'll try again next week, okay? Go clean out your hearing aid please.

Boo Sickness

So the office bug is starting to catch up to me and I left work sick today.

I slept some, ate some soup, and watched a show from last night on the DVR. I barely even feel like writing this, but I must blog for my devoted readers (yea like all 3 of you). Anyway, some more soup, orange juice, and rest and I should be good to go! I think part of it is slight exhaustion too, but we'll see how I feel tomorrow.

Just a reminder: not everyone who commented on my music blog from Monday is a follower, and so far, not enough people have commented. We've still got a few days for the giveaway, but let's hope that some more people read it and comment (and also click on "Follow" to be eligible).

Okay, I might go back to sleep soon. Sniffle and snooze.

Waffles in Crisis

Even waffles have taken a hit with the recession.

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/108191/leggo-your-eggo-theres-a-waffle-shortage

Apparently Kellogg's is announcing an Eggo Waffle shortage from now until mid-2010.
Um.....yeaaaaaaaaaa.

I think some people are really pissed off about this. I mean, I like waffles (I prefer Belgian Waffles though....so good....). I'm not sure I'd go crazy if there were no Eggos though. However, I MIGHT be upset if there were any food shortages of:




Or:

I mean because really....everyone eats that crap. Every day. You should see the stash ManLosch and I keep in our house. Srsly.

Oh You Nasty Girls

11/17/2009

To: The Women of The Arsenal on The Charles

Good evening ladies,

At the close of our business day, I had to tinkle, considering I've been drinking alot of VitaminWater lately. So I shuffled on down to the restroom. Now, please, can someone tell me why I found a PLATE in one of the stalls, that clearly had food on it with some napkins.

Anyone? Anyone want to take a stab at that? No?

That's nasty ladies. We give off the impression that we're pristine and proper and turn up our noses when guys belch or fart. And then you go and leave plates in restroom stalls. Whoever placed it there, we'll all close our eyes for approximately 58 seconds while you go and remove it from the stall.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
Lexi (Mrs. Losch if you're nasty)

Music...Makes The People...Come Together

I like listening to music. And some of the things I listen to aren't really mainstream. Some things I listen to don't make it into the Top 40, or probably even the Top 200. But I like it. Sometimes it energizes me and sometimes I just relate to it and relax. Now don't get me wrong, I still love me some Ne-Yo, Jill Scott, etc. I love alot of mainstream. But tonight, I'd like to share with you 15 songs that you may have never heard (maybe slightly indie) that completely rock my world.

1. Today Has Been Okay by Emiliana Torrini
2. Hold You In My Arms by Ray LaMontagne
3. Destination Vertical by Masha Qrella
4. The Garden by Mirah
5. With The Notes In My Ear by Peter Broderick
6. A Storm Is Going To Come by Piers Faccini
7. Doorway by IO Echo
8. Turn And Turn Again by All Thieves
9. Koop Island Blues by Koop Island
10. Feeling Good by My Brightest Diamond
11. Liar by 8mm
12. Genesis by Justice
13. Hip Hip Chin Chin by Club Des Belugas
14. On Board by Friendly Fires
15. Billie Jean by The Lost Fingers

If you are interested in hearing any of the above songs, just let me know! I'll make you a CD(seriously). And because I love music so much, I'm offering a giveaway! Well, here's the thing. Most of you either don't read my blog or if you do, you don't offer words of love in the form of comments. So if you are reading, we'll find out. I'd love to giveaway a $10 iTunes giftcard. If enough people participate, then I'll do a random drawing on November 23rd of the people that comment on this blog. So 10 (or more) people for $10 (and you have to be a follower)! If not, well then hopefully you'll still want to share in my love of music and want to listen to the above 15. Either way, think about it.... :-)

LaLosch Learns About "Load Bearing Members"

And wouldn't you like to know exactly what that is????
It sounds like......yea. EXACTLY THAT. It's so awesome.

But, unfornately, it's not what you think. I had ManLosch teach me some architecture words today, kinda like 1st grade flash cards. Architecture for True Dummies. We were eating a fabulous lunch at Pizza Hut today after Mass (which by the way, they brought back the holy water AND the "Peace Be With You's....ehhhhhh) and I said "So teach me something architecturally related." ManLosch says,"That's a little vague babe. What do you want to know?" I said, "I dunno, something that will make me sound like the smartest person alive. Like I want to tell someone they look like something architecturally related and they'll have no idea what the hell I'm talking about."

So he thinks. And he says "Cupola." I said, "Who?" He said, "A cupola. It's like, uh, it's always on a roof. It's often an ornamental feature." I said, "Like the Capitol building in D.C.?" He says, "No that's a dome." (BTW people, we came back to this and I was right. He finally knew which piece I was talking about)

Then we started talking about how engineers make it work and architects make it pretty, and that you need an architectural engineer to be your consultant. I asked him why he can't ask a civil engineer. He said "Because they are mainly responsible for LARGE INFRASTRUCTURAL PROJECTS." I said, "Whoa, whoa. What's that? That's phrase number 2." He said, "Like all the roadwork you see, highways, bridges, etc." (Why they can't just say bridges and crap, I don't understand).

Then he looked at me, smiled, and said "Load Bearing Members." I said, "WHAT?! Wait, not here. Not at Pizza Hut. Really??" He laughed and said, "That's a phrase. I knew you'd like it." I said, "What the hell?! What is that? As far as I know, a load bearing member is....." He said, "Well basically, you are a load bearing member. I am too. The furniture is too. Architects have to take into account all structural members that carry a load, like weight."

I was all too happy with this last one and all day, I've been pointing out load bearing members. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! I also taught myself "geodesic dome" a few months ago, so everything I said today sounded a little like:

"Your large geodesic structural project of a face looks a little like Johnny is holding onto a load bearing member."

I LOVE architecture.

Just How Black Am I?

So black, that I did NOT enjoy that ski film I went to with ManLosch. Know why? There were NO black people there to watch it. White people love them some ski shit. It was a montage ("We need a montaaaawwwwge") of different white folks on skis, falling and zipping through the snow to rock music and everyone in the audience was like "YEA Skip ROCKS! Wooooo, yeeeeeea."

At least I know not to watch that again. Or go to an event at the Berklee Performance Center; the seats are made for Smurfs, I'm convinced.

Either way, back to my Saturday night of watching friends play beer pong! (That just made my black argument null and void, huh?)
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All I Want For Christmas is......

I'm getting an early jump on my Christmas list this year people (ManLosch....are you reading this?). So feel free to come back to this whenever you aren't sure what to buy me for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or my birthday!

1) Wii Fit (because my gym membership isn't enough....even when I barely go)
2) A new digital camera (just because...shut your face)
3) A puppy (because LoschDog needs a friend)
4) A kitten (because LoschDog needs a squeaky toy)
5) A $2,000 gift certificate to Barnes & Noble (because we allll know how books can be expensive these days)
6) A MacBook Air
7) New neighbors (because the ones upstairs SUCK royally)
8) A servant (I take kids, midgets, anyone. I don't discriminate)
9) World Peace
10) Kidz Bop 16 (because we all love versions of our favorite songs sung by your neighbor's 10 year old boy whose b*lls haven't even dropped yet)
11) A Snuggie

Stay tuned.......

You Saw WHO??

I went to yoga last night. I mean, I normally go on Wednesday nights for my 7:30pm class. Hatha Yoga with Jill (we love you Jill....Namaste). So I settle in, put my mat down, take my sweater off, and start trying to relax. And I see someone walk in.

I squint a little, with the low lighting and not having my glasses on, and I think, "Hmm, that person looks familiar." I stretch a little more and the face gets closer. I think, "Hmm, that person DEFINITELY looks familiar...wait....is that.....noooooo...no it can't be."

Yep. It was my freakin therapist.
And if you could imagine a silent freakout in ones' own head, I can imagine I looked like this:

(The fact that I go to therapy is no secret people. It's on my list and it's nice to pay someone that you can vent to objectively)

But yes, she walked in. And she recognized me. And she put her mat right down next to mine and talked to me. It was all KINDS of strange. And so what? Yea, I freaked out a little, but hey guess what?? That's why I'm in therapy people. Makes a little more sense now doesn't it? I think it's the fact that you never expect those types of people to have an outside life other than doing what they get paid to do. Kinda like "No, they just go to work and then go home." Like if you were in 3rd grade and you saw your teacher in the mall and you're like "OMG IT'S HER! I KNOW HER! And she's going to talk to my parents about my class performance on the weekend in the mall!!!!!!!!!"

I'm not making a big deal of it, but I AM telling you that it was strange. Like "Oh, that baby named Cortez has 6 fingers" strange.

It's Back!

I waited too many weeks for this. But it's finally back. Tonight.....it's finally back.


I'll be parking my sweet ass on the recliner tonight and reuniting with Mr. Shu, Prego Quinn and her clueless boyfriend Finn (THE BABY ISN'T YOURS DUMMY!!), and my idol Sue Sylvester. Sue, no worries. We're only a few hours away from reuniting in Glee glory.

If you haven't given this show a chance yet.....damn. I feel for you. Now go watch it and tell me what you think.

Things Running Through My Mind

Here are just a few things that were possibly running through my mind when this photo was taken:
1) You got GOT homie! I just took all your money!
2) Did YOU dress me in a bleached 80's EPCOT shirt?? Because if so, this is truly atrocious.
3) Keep laughing at my knock knees. You just keeeeep laughing.
4) I think my cheeks are as big as your stomach.
5) Wait, why is my hairline uneven? Hey, well...I guess it's kinda funny.
6) I just jumped on Mommy's stomach to ensure that I was going to be the last! Ha HA!
7) Hello mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper, and it's not a toaster.

Cryin'

Dear Mr. Tyler,

My name is Lexi Losch and you have devastated my husband, otherwise known as ManLosch. You are apparently leaving Aerosmith, his most favoritist band ever known to mankind ever in the world ever. He sent me a message at work to let me know and I had to sit shiva for him. How could you do this? You had my man cryin'(get it? i used you your song for the joke.....yea....you got it......yeaaaaa).

In an effort to ease the pain, he listened to your CD's while working from home. Are you really leaving? Because I think this might be a publicity stunt. What? Oh, you're kinda for real leaving? Oh. Well I...oh. Okay, well ManLosch is crying again. Why'd you have to go and break your leg on tour and then make a big deal about Brand Tyler?! I thought you gave up drugs and some drinking. No? Well do you really have to quit? ManLosch is pretty broken up about this; we even went to an Aerosmith concert on our wedding anniversary so you really can't leave the group. So you're pulling a Journey? Or a Guns n Roses? Just because Joe Perry left once doesn't mean you have to do the same thing (and you should really think about returning his phone calls, that's not right). And ManLosch just said that Brad Whitford left too, but who the hell knows who he is anyway?

So think about it Stevie buddy. You know you don't want to quit. So keep your scarf wrapped microphones and harmonica solos. ManLosch will be broken and go Crazy (ha! get it?) if you leave. You know you don't wanna miss a thing (ahh I'm so good). Just go back to the studio.

Dream On forever,
LaLosch

Verdict??

I'm proud to be an American (where at least I know I'm free...yea yea), but I just got home from Niagara Falls. I was there with ManLosch for the weekend and as you know, there is a Niagara Falls, NY and Niagara Falls, ON. We frequented both the American and Canadian sides.

I'm sorry America....but Canada has you beat. Like seriously. I think we spent more than half our time in Canada. When you look at the U.S.A. from Canada, you think "Hmm, well it looks like everyone is slummin' it eh." When you look at Canada from the U.S.A., you think "Holy crap, let's go there to gamble, and eat dinner, and not be bored." As we were coming back into the States Saturday night, there was a LINE at customs to get INTO Canada that went as far back as our hotel. People were ready to party in Canada and NO ONE was ready to party in the U.S.A. C'mon America, that should tell you something. Put some Christmas lights up or hang up a wooden welcome sign.

Either way, we had an awesome time. I'll discuss later and post some pics when I'm not so damn tired from the 7 hour drive. 'Night kids.

Squeaky Shoes and the 6 Finger Baby

ManLosch and I spent most of the day in Toronto today. We went to visit Chris and Jarrett there and spent the day walking around. We did the one big tourist-y thing there and went to the CN tower, which I affectionately call "The Big Needle Building." So we head up and while we're waiting in line to go to the very top (can't remember what it's called), there's this family behind us of like a million. They had this stroller made for 3 kids. I already knew the wait in line based on that alone would be shitty.

So the dad walks by with one of the kids. And something is squeaking. I assume at first it's just a toy. No. It was not. The kid had on squeaking shoes. So everytime the thing-kid took a step, it squeaked, like a dog toy (ManLosch and I discussed that we could never dress our kids in those because LoschDog would think the kid was a squeaker toy and go after him/her). I was ready to rip the shoes off and throw them from the top of the tower. Until I then noticed the kid's sister or brother (I don't know, alot of babies look the same to me) sleeping in the front seat of the tri-seater. I looked and noticed that the hands moved a little and I looked at the small hands. And I said to myself "Hmm, wait a minute, something doesn't look anatomically correct." So I start counting, because I'm weird and I count people's fingers sometimes. And I said "One, two, three, four, five......SIX?!??! Wait, Six???" Yea, this baby had 6 fingers. Holy crap. I tried to contain it, but I told ManLosch and then I told Chris. Of course Chris started laughing and I was trying to hold it in the best I could. It wasn't like "HAHAHA, your 6 fingered baby is a freak." It was that weird, uncomfortable laughter because you don't know how else to react to a 6 fingered baby.

Either way, once we got to the top, we discovered that the 3rd kid had the squeaking shoes too. And the kids names were "Diego" and "Cortez."

Yea. You read right.

Oh Canada.

Isn't She Lovvveelllly

It's a Natural Wonder of the World people. Behold Mother Nature's majestic beauty, even when it's 40 degrees out. And I had to borrow Ryan's hat. And I was wearing a poncho so I wouldn't get wet and thus suffer a horrible Niagara version of hypothermia. But other than that, it's pretty right?? :-)
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