Day 3

Five Ways You Break The Ice

1. Talk about the shitty weather up here in Massachusetts.
2. Talk about the fact that I used to live in Miami. For some reason, people find this extremely fascinating. It's not like I used to deal drugs or live like "Miami Vice" or anything.
3. Make a joke about anything. I find myself to be a humorous person, so I try to make jokes whenever I can to lighten a situation.
4. Talk about latest books one has read. I always find it interesting to see what people like to read and if they don't, why they don't like to read.  This also can lead into writing and other creative interests.
5. Ke$ha's latest awful song. C'mon, she's AWFUL!!!!!

Day 2

Five Not So Basic Facts About You

1. I don't like the edges of sandwiches or the ends of subs, so please don't take offense if I don't finish the sandwich you made for me.
2. I was raised not to eat pork. I had pork bacon when I was a freshman in college and never looked back.
3. I had a hamster my senior year of college given to me by my friend and sorority sister. We named him Shoobie Squitch. He turned out to be a very angry hamster. He then decided to live in his outhouse and got too fat to get out. Yes, that is where he perished.
4. I don't really like getting manicures. It makes me uncomfortable. I prefer pedicures.
5. I used to like super fruity drinks, but now I just prefer Jack and coke. Maybe because I've had too many of those fruity drinks and crappy malt beverages in college that I can't even stomach them anymore.

Day 1

Five Basic Facts About You

1. I was born in Mount Vernon, New York and I should have been born in Queens.
2. I lived in Miami for 7 for years and I miss it terribly, except for our awful neighbors that even our next door neighbor called "marielitos." She was Cuban herself.
3. I gave birth to 7lb 2oz little girl on December 14, 2010 and surprised the hell out of everyone because everyone thought I was having a boy.
4. Even though I've lived in Metro-Boston for 3.5 years, I am still a Yankees fan. RedSox can suck it.
5. I was in marching band in college. I met my husband, my godmother, my daughter's godparents, and my best friends in marching band.

15 Days, 5 Challenge

This seems interesting, so let's see if I can do it!

15 days. 5 challenge.

Day 1. 5 basic facts about you
Day 2. 5 not-so-basic facts about you
Day 3. 5 ways you break the ice
Day 4. 5 signs that you’re into someone
Day 5. 5 signs that you’re NOT into someone
Day 6. 5 things you do when you’re bored
Day 7. 5 things that make you hyper
Day 8. 5 things you’re known for
Day 9. 5 things you want to do
Day 10. 5 things you’ll never do
Day 11. 5 good things about you
Day 12. 5 bad things about you
Day 13. 5 ways to make you cry
Day 14. 5 ways to win your heart
Day 15. 5 things you need to say

Judy, Pick Up The Sock

Did you ever watch "Friends?" If so, do you remember the episode where it was Phoebe's birthday and everyone was late to her birthday dinner? Rachel and Ross accidentally lock Emma in the apartment and his mom Judy brings the baby with her to the bar at the restaurant because Rachel can't be away from her. The entire time, Rachel is watching the fact that Judy is NOT watching the baby. She snaps at her and says "Look alive Judy!" and when Emma drops her sock, she goes crazy while in the middle of giving Phoebe a birthday toast. So Phoebe yells at Judy, "PICK UP THE SOCK JUDY, PICK UP THE SOCK!!"

As a new mother, I feel EXACTLY like this. Anyone else who is holding my child or just touching her makes me anxious. If Jovie is drooling and no one has cleaned it up in 5 seconds, I start shaking my leg and mumbling to myself and then I just grab the baby myself. I can't help it and it drives me insane. I admit that sometimes I'm even like this with ManLosch. I mean, I completely get that we're new parents and we don't know everything. But I do know this: Jovie Sophia Losch is OUR baby. Colicky, refluxy, possible milk allergy Jovie is our daughter and while we may not know everything, we DO know our daughter. And right now, that's all we need until everything else figures itself out. So if you've ever held/cared for Jovie or you might in the future, take heed. Look alive and pick up the sock.

I Am Not My Hair..Or Am I??

Many of you know that I've been growing out of relaxer. I've had it relaxed for some time now and decided last March that I wanted to go back to my roots. It's been an interesting journey because I have NO idea what my hair will look like once I finally chop off all the relaxed ends.

Here's the thing..I'm getting impatient now. I'm at the point where I want to chop it or relax it all again. I can't stand the wait. I asked Kai, my hairdresser, how long it would be now if I cut the relaxed part off and it'd be considerably shorter, but not horrible. I want a change, but I don't want a change...if any of that makes sense.

HELP! What should I do??

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica

With this wonderful thing called instant Netflix, I've started watching full seasons of "The Office." I never fully realized how brilliant this show is (not to mention how Jim Halpert can be my baby daddy anyday...yes ManLosch already knows). Reminds me just how dysfunctional our workplaces can be. I typically DON'T blog about work, for the obvious reasons. One can never be too careful. However, I have enough material from my job that would make the writers at "The Office" blush.

While watching an episode today, I also read an article in a magazine that addressed one of the most interesting workplace questions, "Is it alright to have a work spouse?" There were 2 different arguments, for and against it. I'd be interested to see that debate go on and what others might have to say about it. I definitely think both sides have valid points though. And yes, I added this part because of Pam and Jim. :)

State of the House

This evening, the Losch's bring you the State of the House address. (applause)

Everything sucks. There is no sleep. There is no sanity.

That is all. (applause)

Yes...I Have Survived...

Jovie is one month old! January 14th was one month and wow....what a month. 

What have I learned about being a parent so far?

1. Newborn mittens don't do sh*t. Don't bother wasting your money parents-to-be! While they are only like $4 for a 2 or 3 pack, why bother? The aliens we know as our kids don't even like them and they somehow manage to get them off within 1-2 minutes. Invest in the onesies with the fold overs on the end that act as mittens. Jovie is no match for those.
2. Swaddling works....as long as said child does not get her hands and arms out of the swaddle. Jovie is a mastermind at getting out of the swaddle, so she startles herself awake.
3. Parenthood is nothing like it seems, even with everyone telling you what it will be like. 
4. Never have a real game plan. Babies like to f&^$ sh*t up. They will look at your beautifully crafted game plan and then take a massive mustardy yellow dump on it, all while smoking a cigar and sending their goons after you (okay I made that last part up but it sounded cool...like that boss baby from Who Framed Roger Rabbit).
5. Dogs will either be super pissed and mean or protective and sweet towards new babies. Our dog is the latter. :-)
6. Newborns apparently like to be held, so that sandwich you were gonna make? Nope. Put down the mayo Rachael Ray. That nap you wanted to take while they nap? Not possible with a Fourth Trimester baby because she wants to sleep in your arms.

Look, I'm not gonna lie. This is bad. We're tired and Jovie has reflux. Ryan was only ever used to me crying and he was able to soothe me. When Jovie gets going, there is no stopping her. Parenting sucks. Babies can't tell you what's wrong. Our job from now on is like learning how to be a trivia master, forget being a normal human being.......

And I don't think we'd change it back either. As long as Jovie puts us in the best nursing home with buffet lunches and dinners, that's all we need. :)

Tucson On My Mind

I think it's just terrible what happened in Tucson. Insane and terrible; the closer terror gets to your home, the worse you feel.

So while sitting in Mass this past Sunday, I started thinking. We brought Jovie to Mass for the first time and she was very quiet. Going to Mass is routine, you know? And people find comfort in routine. Father Al told a joke, everyone laughed. It was peaceful. Then I thought, "What if someone just busted through the doors and started shooting?" I mean, it could really happen anywhere, as displayed in Tucson. Just innocent people gathered together for a common cause and exercising their right to support that cause. What would I do, with my newborn daughter and husband, if that happened? Would I freeze in terror? Would I desperately try to save them both? Would I run, would I have hid in the pews? What DO you do?

Everything happens in such an instant and you never know when your life is about to change. Sorry to be all sappy, but you know....what else do I do at church anyway?? :-)

Pony Up

ManLosch was not down with buying me that Costco pony we saw about a month and a half ago. Maybe he will buy me this.....

I mean, if he won't get THIS...I might be heartbroken. Seriously. This one is way better.

All The Crazy

With all the crazy that has been happening, I haven't had any ME time.
(Other parents reading this blog, please do not say the following:
"I told you so!"
"Duh."
"Isn't it insane? You'll never have 'me' time again.")

I already knew this going into the pregnancy. I knew my life would change forever once Peanut came into the world. So the fact that I haven't had much time to indulge my own interests besides watching reruns of "The Office" while feeding a kid and cleaning spit up doesn't surprise me. That doesn't mean it's not driving me crazy though.

Anywho, I miss you all, commentators of my blog. I haven't even commented on 2010 yet or come up with my 2011 resolutions. This will be coming soon, hopefully this week. Mom-In-Law is here helping us which has given us some free time and with Jovie's tummy troubles hopefully settling down SOME, we have 20 minutes here and there to be human.

Smooches amigos.

Birthday Reflections

This year's birthday was just a little different than last year's. ManLosch took us out for dinner last night. This was Jovie's first real time being out and of course I was nervous (yes everyone says not to take your kid out much this early, but our pediatrician said 'what do you think second time moms do??'). We stayed local and went to a restaurant where the family who owns it knows us because we frequent their diner most Sundays after Mass.

The restaurant was crowded but the music was great and Jovie slept the ENTIRE time. The first song I heard was our first dance song so we silently jammed to it. Then we ordered and talked about how different this year was from last year. Last year I was able to fit into all of my clothes and alot of my work friends came over to party. My best friend Marcus and I got drunk and made that lovely "To Be Real" video that I posted. As we were talking about that, "To Be Real" started playing in the restaurant and I kept looking at Jovie to make sure she wasn't fussy. ManLosch kept saying, "She's fine, I promise." Instead of double fisting drinks, I had a small glass of Prosecco in one hand and a pacifier in the other. Last year, Marcus surprised me by coming up from New York and ManLosch helped organize it. This year, ManLosch organized a surprise party for me at the house and everyone brought food and helped with Jovie. I got a $25 Fandango gift card from a co-worker who also said that babysitting services come with the deal so ManLosch and I can get out. Last year, I got tons of liquor, an XS t-shirt from "Glee" and a Flip videocamera. The videocamera is now pretty much the Jovie cam. Last year, I had a nice outfit on and got to go to work and be with friends. This year, I was home in pajamas where Jovie projectile vomitted all over me, the living room chair, herself, and the dog and then peed on me later.

It was funny to look back on just how different last year was to this year. We had a good time talking about it and laughing about the differences. Even though this birthday was dramatically different, I had a WONDERFUL birthday and I definitely felt loved. :-)

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone had a wonderful day with family or friends. It certainly doesn't feel like Christmas but it's not so bad. I think I'm finally getting used to being a real mom now. Jovie is a fussy little girl but then again, she's just like her mom. More to come, but enjoy the holiday!

Where Ya Been?

I've been mothering a child the last 5-6 days! That's right. Preggo fatty no more. I gave birth to a 7lb 2oz little bundle of tantrum named Jovie Sophia Losch. So about 98% of you all were wrong; I totally had a girl. It was kinda funny actually to hear everyone's reactions to the fact that we had a girl.

More updates and deets to come later. For now, I'm just slowly starting to catch up on everything, including my sanity. :-)

Listless Losch

I stayed home from work on Thursday and Friday because well....I about had an emotional breakdown in my doctor's office on Thursday. Everything was fine, checked out ok, but for some reason, as the nurse was taking my vitals and she asked me how I was doing, I just burst into tears. She told me to lay down before the doctor came in and ManLosch rubbed my back while I sobbed. The doctor came in and rubbed my back too, reassured me that it was ok. She recommended working half days until my maternity leave if necessary, but that definitely, I should go home that day. Of course it didn't help when she did the exam and told me it didn't look like I was going to go early. Cue more tears.

My boss has been AWESOME and told me to not even worry about work and to stay home Friday too. Here's what I realized: BEING HOME WAITING FOR YOUR UNBORN CHILD TO DECIDE TO MAKE ITS APPEARANCE SUCKS. I did sleep alot, which was good. But I cried alot too. LoschDog has been great and nuzzling and cuddling with me for the last 4 days. 2 of my co-workers, Ann and Ryan, stopped by with lunch on Friday so I wouldn't talk to the wall anymore. ManLosch has been great when he's home and has taken care of me. He even took me shopping Friday night to buy 2 more shirts to cover my ever-growing belly for these last few weeks and then went to Olive Garden.

I've had no energy and no real desire to do anything but take my ass to the hospital and start pushing. I have dreams every night about labor which also doesn't help the fact that I don't get alot of sleep. But I think I'm safe to finally head back in for these last few days. I like the social interaction of being at work and I feel useful there. Hopefully, I don't go TOO late, but I know, I know. I have no say in that. :)

All I Want For Christmas.....

(besides the birth of my baby?)......is this....

Yes....I want the Obama Chia.

Throwback to the 90's

Our newer car (don't know that I'd call it a new car anymore, but it's almost 3 months old) has satellite radio in it. Just like the regular radio, sometimes there's never anything on that you want to listen to. Driving home tonight, I was tuned into the 90's station. Some of the songs brought back very vivid memories of my teenage somewhat angsty years. Here's what I experienced on the 15 minute car ride home:

"You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrissette: I remember being in middle school. I just bought Alanis Morissette's album on a cassette tape as I was not rich enough to purchase anything that looked like a CD at the time. So I had a hand-me-down Walkman that I loved. My mom and I were living with my aunt and my cousin in their apartment for the time being, so I remember falling asleep on my makeshift bed listening to this thinking "Wow, are women really this angry? And why would she ask a man if he was thinking of her while he screwed another woman? She sounds pissed." I would rewind, stop, hit play....nope, not at the beginning yet. Rewind...stop....hit play. I did this so many times that I went through batteries like it was nobody's business.

Fast forward through time and HOLY SHIT Alanis. You were right. Women really ARE this angry at men sometimes. And it's ok. It's funny how things don't make sense when you're too young to understand what it all really means.

"You Make Me Wanna" by Usher: I was in high school. The year before this song came out, I helped one girl get together with a guy she really liked. The guy I really liked ALOT became taken, but that's another heartbreak story. Fastfoward a year and the guy and girl are having problems. I try to remain neutral. We end up walking home together because we lived in the same area and I needed someone to walk home with. Little did I know, he started to like me, but at the same time, he was breaking up with his girlfriend.....for me (how do we have so much fuckin drama in high school, jeeeeeeez). A few weeks later, we slowly started dating and I was in love. Until the next year when he broke up with me stating the reason, "I'm just not in love with you anymore." He also broke up with me over AOL Chat (remember AOL chat??) instead of being a man about it. It's ok though. He actually turned out to be gay later on down the road (how MUCH later, I have no idea....) and I think he's happily engaged now to another guy. Good for you. You still suck for being immature.


I love little moments that conjure of memories of the past.

Important! Open Immediately!

5 December 2010

Attn: Mr./Ms. Baby Losch:

This is your official eviction notice. You will have 2 weeks to vacate the premises with all of your belongings and management would prefer if you were able to leave earlier.

Reasons for Eviction:
You signed a 9 month lease and you have yet to pay for ONE month.
Utilities were included and you have abused this privilege (entertainment, heat, water, etc.).
Food was built into the rent, however you have not PAID rent.
You keep other tenants and management up during the night with your Dance Dance Revolution parties.
Your expectations of the building are a little too high, considering you don't PAY RENT.
Your field goal practicing during the day has put a damper on other activities.

Please consider yourself on notice. If you do not comply, further action will be taken.

Regards,
Management

Holidaaaaaaay

My company holiday party is tonight and unfortunately, this time, I won't be coming home dirty drunk like I did last year. I had a BLAST last year. But I think I'll have a blast this year too. I'm actually very excited. I was thinking of bringing a flask of apple juice to take shots of apple juice.

I'll post some pictures later, with me and all my preggo glory.