So since my workplace banned Facebook, I have not been on it as much as I used to. Considering when I get home, I'm usually tired and don't care that 100 of my friends changed the "About Me" section of their pages or changed their Relationship status 3 times in one day. From the times I've logged in, I've noticed a constant. People are falling ill with the TMI disease. If you don't know what TMI stands for, it's "Too Much Information," but honestly, if you're reading my blog, you should already know that (considering that I often offer up too much information about MY life). But I'm talking about pictures of your pee stick when you found out you were pregnant, that Robbie now has the syph because he cheated on you...etc. So I decided there should be a rule book of examples of inappropriate Facebook statuses. Below, you will find some examples of things that fall into the TMI disease category (or anything that may be considered just inappropriate for sharing on Facebook:
Anonymous Male/Female User:
.....is currently taking a dump. And totally ran out of toilet paper.
.....is PREGNANT! Take a look at the proof baby!! (see inset photo of pee stick)
.....is with his/her therapist working out his/her daddy issues. Pass the tissues.
.....is currently being stabbed.
.....is currently being arrested. Post bail ASAP.
.....is wondering why her roommate must be so loud during sex. Honestly, he's not THAT good in bed. TRUST ME.
.....is at his/her grandma's funeral. And she didn't leave me anything either. :(
.....is currently hijacking a plane/robbing a bank bitches! Rock on! (side note: you KNOW at one point in your flying career that you've seen that ONE idiot who never turns their phone off during the flight and you want to shank them so bad. but that's another blog.)
.....has JUST gotten laid. I am AWESOME.
.....is taking an STD test at Planned Parenthood right now. Wish me luck!
.....just farted in his/her cubicle.
.....is waiting for the divorce papers to be signed already!
.....wishes the bank would stop calling for their money. He/she just ain't got it.
.....is up in the gym, just workin on his/her fitness...but just farted on the elliptical.
.....just drank a bottle of tequila while at ::hiccup:: work.
.....called in sick to play football with said homies (note: your boss is your friend on facebook)
If you've seen any inappropriate/TMI statuses on Facebook, or can think of anything that might be just as horrific, please, by all means, leave a message. We will stop these overzealous Facebookers, one stroke at a time.
(I meant one KEYSTROKE you pervs. Like typing? Get your mind out the gutter.)
LOL! I love crazy T EFFIN' MI. It makes me feel sane and normal. Twitter is what makes me a little nervous. How important am I that I think people need me to post every 5 minutes exactly what I'm doing? Then again, I have a blog and I talk about making masks and gelatin...Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteBut that post bail thing is priceless. Really.