Auld Lang Syne My Dear

2009 comes to a close in 2 hours. And I see it as a way to start new. It's always a way to start new; to do things differently...hopefully to be better. Now don't get me wrong, alot of great things have happened in 2009, but alot of shitty things have happened too. And I want 2010 to be the Year of the Lexi, because I said that about 2009 too and it did NOT happen. So I'd like to share 10 things that I learned in 2009:

1) Don't ever make someone a priority when you are only an option.

I've learned this one HARD. You don't have to be in a romantic relationship to get hit with this son of a bitch. I'm the type of lady that, when you make me a priority, you will be treated with mutual respect and you'll know how much I love you. So in 2010? It's gonna be better. I hope.

2) All the vet bills are worth it.

Okay, LoschDog has been fairly pricey this year, and ManLosch and I get frustrated and curse. But Jordan is so worth it and I love him to death. He reminds you of the power of unconditional love and it feels so good.

3) There will always be bad drivers.

Pretty self-explanatory, huh?

4) Self-meditation is necessary in order to spend time with yourself and learn who you really are.

I will be practicing this one in 2010 alot. It's helped me alot the last few months, but I'm far from where I want to be.

5) Red Sox fans are still all kinds of awful.

I know, I know, alot of you who read this are Red Sox fans. And I still like you. But I still hate the stereotypical ones.

6) You have to give everyone a shot.

I've talked to strangers when most people shouldn't have. I even grew a set and asked DiDi for her email address after my writing class and we're now growing to be friends (I hope). I gave $5 to a homeless man outside of a Walgreens because I told ManLosch "What he does it with it is not for me to judge." And even though he turned out to be a little crazy, he was alright. Just give someone a shot. Stop shutting people out.

7) There's always a dealbreaker.

Not everything is totally unconditional. C'mon now. No matter how much you don't want to admit it (::cough cough pinky rings cough cough::), there is always something.

8) We should all make more of an effort to strengthen the connections we've made with people.

We're all guilty of it. We talk to people, form superficial bonds, and then leave it. From now on, be kind. Be thoughtful. Send a handwritten letter, a postcard; remind the people in your life EXACTLY why they are in your life.

9) Everyone should recognize the true power of Mother Nature by visiting a beach, a canyon, a forest, a waterfall, etc.

Going to Niagara Falls in November reminded me of all of the wonderful natural power around me. It was beautiful. And at some point, everyone should take in something that has the power to take your breath away, the power to make you sit and think, or just the power to do something better.

10) Writing is more therapeutic than I ever could have imagined.

And not just my blog. My journals, the writing class....it's been a good year for me in terms of my writing journey. And I want to make big plans for myself in terms of my writing for 2010, and I can't wait. 2009 was a good starting point.

So my lovelies....2009 is coming to a close. I wish you all a safe night, and a wonderful New Year. I will see you all tomorrow, next month, next year.....next decade. :-)

(you like my birthday shirt?? thanks Stef & Ryan)

Happy Birthday to Me

I dont think I'm supposed to be typing right now, but someone is typing for me. His name is Marcus. And he is my best friend. Lexi's too drunk to type, but she's dictating. Flip flip flipadelphia! Name that show. You'll win a $10 gift card to Best Buy if you are the first person to name that show. Happy Birthday to me!

Stranger Danger

Okay, so I had to exchange a pair of jeans today (the Danny DeVito ones). So after I leave the hairdresser, I walk to the store to exchange them. I walk in and it's very quiet, so I ask the guy with a jacket and scarf on, "Um, are you guys closed?" He says, "No, not even close yet. It's just cold down here, so no one is down here." I say, "Ohh, that's ok. Hey, do you have a garbage can? I just need to throw my coffee out. And then can you help me?"

Diarrhea of the mouth with a stranger that isn't typical. But he agrees to exchange my purchase when I'm done.

I go upstairs, find a bigger size (Lexi Losch had to find a BIGGER SIZE. EVERYONE PLEASE TAKE NOTE) and decide to try them on before leaving the store this time. I go to the dressing room and the guy asks me, "How many?" I say, "Oh, just one. A pair of jeans. I need to exchange them. Can you believe that I got a pair too small? I mean look at me. I usually just go for the smallest size possible and this time, it was too small! I couldn't even get them over my ass!"

::cricket cricket::

OMG LEXI, SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!! What the hell was wrong with me? Here's what's wrong with me: I'm comfortable with strangers.

I know, it sounds weird. But I feel most comfortable, I've decided, being around people I don't know when it comes time for conversation. Because I have this notion that I'm making someone's day by making them laugh, when in reality, they may think I'm some 5'2" Chester. With strangers, you can make quick and easy contact and never talk to them again if you don't want to. It's painless and almost like feeling fresh blood flowing through your heart. It's reviving.

And weird. I know. I'm sorry. Maybe it's the idea that I'll officially be a year older tomorrow, so I feel the need to end this horrible year on a positive note. Maybe I found the need to tell everyone that the jeans wouldn't fit over my ass. Maybe.......well, maybe it's just maybe. Maybe I'm just strange. A strange stranger. And I kinda like that. I'm ok with that. :-)

I WAS In Miami Trick

These are just a few photos from our recent trip to Miami. Not a whole lot indeed. But it makes me want to go back, even if just for the warm weather. I can't wait for summer.

A Day In The Life.....

Went to Mass (yea...thanks Midnight Mass for making it required in like a span of 72 hours). Enjoyed the mild quiet with only 2 screaming children today. Thought about how hungry I was.

Came home and ate some yummy French Toast that my mom made. Wasn't hungry anymore.

Went shopping in Harvard Square. Wasn't going to buy anything. Thought about sales. Ended up buying shit I didn't need. Thanks Gap.

Went to Newbury Comics to look for CD's. Ended up finding a CD that I've been looking for for awhile now. Smiled real hard inside right before I thought about food again.

Ate pizza. Wasn't good.

Went food shopping for dinner. Mother got into a mini fight with a woman at Star Market. Thought it was funny. Reminded her that we live in Massachusetts.

Mother fumed about wretched woman for entire car ride home.

Got home, relaxed, watched tv. Thought that I should read my book a little more.

Read my book a little more. Decided to start cooking dinner (salmon, broccoli, and potatoes).

Cooked dinner. Everyone loved it. ManLosch looked in the fish tank and saw that one of them has gone to the great fish tank in the sky. Witnessed sucker fish "sucking" on the deceased. Let out a girly yelp. Asked ManLosch if he would take the fish out and he replied, "We'll just let nature take its course. May be less for me to clean up."

After cleaning up dinner, tried on jeans that were bought today as an early birthday gift. Spent 5 minutes trying to get them on and realized they wouldn't go over my ass. Cursed self for always assuming I was the smallest size possible.

Used ManLosch to help me get the jeans off a la Danny DeVito's skinny jeans on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Enjoying the rest of the fam tonight. Looking forward to 2010. Almost here.

Goodnight kids. :)

Resolutions 2.0

Dear 2010,

You're almost here. 5 days to be exact. Well less than that. That's neither here nor there. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I hated 2009. And I'm hoping that you, 2010, will bring me better luck. I hope that you will bring me more joy and excitement, less heartache.....than 2009. And because I am putting my hope and maybe a small amount of faith in you, I will be coming up with a few small resolutions. If you would be so kind to review them once you receive them, it would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,
LaLosch

Merry Christmas I Think

Is Christmas supposed to be bigger than this? Next Christmas, I've decided that I'm dragging ManLosch out of the country. It's been an alright day, but dammit.....sigh. 2010 is less than a week away, right?

Until then, enjoy the rest of the day and remember whose birthday it is (no, it's not mine yet). Happy Birthday Jesus!

Last Minute Gifts

Just in case you weren't sure what to buy me as a last minute Christmas gift, I'd really love it if you checked out SkyMall for one of these lovely items:

Telekinetic Obstacle Course

Because why WOULDN'T I want to telekinetically try to move a purple ball through a maze? My mind is THAT amazing.

Brightfeet Lighted Slippers

For all those late drunk nights when you stumble to the bathroom and can't find your way, these slippers will get you through anything. Even a hurricane. Or the apocalypse.


Fairy Garden Door

Because I need to ensure that all my fairy friends know the way to enter my house. All 2,000 different kinds. Because I'm that crazy cat lady who also has fairy friends.

I'm Sorry, BUT...

1) Nothing really tops the fact that I got 3 Snuggies in one day.
2) AirTran sucks even more than ever. ManLosch and I will not be flying that airline again if we can help it.
3) I promise you that I'm not the spokesperson for everyone else's life. Maybe it's because I'm nice, that people talk to me, but I can promise you that I'm not the one to spread their business.
4) I can't help but really want to adopt one of the kitties we take care of at PetSmart.
5) Yes, I have to work Christmas Eve.
6) No I don't want to have my birthday party on New Year's Eve. If my birthday were the 31st and not the 30th, then yes, totally.
7) Covering every inch of your lawn and house with Christmas decorations doesn't make you look like you're in the holiday spirit. It makes you look crazy.

2 days left until Christmas everyone! You know what that means. 3 DAYS LEFT UNTIL KWANZAA!!!!!!! (ahaha)

Lexi Gets a Snuggie....or 2....or 3

OMFG!!!

Today, we had our work Secret Santa, also known as a "Non-Denominational Holiday Gift Exchange." (sigh)

The person who had me got me........A SNUGGIE. OMG. It's awesome. It's the leopard print Snuggie. I modeled it during the exchange. I'm wearing it now as I blog. I reluctantly drew the line when I had to pee and took it off.

So, as I'm holding it, my friend Nora says, "Well maybe Ryan will want one too." I said, "Nah, he hates these things." After we wrap up, she says, "Come to my desk after you're done." After being chatty for another few minutes, I head back downstairs and she says,"Check your chair." So I walk back and there's a gift from her on the chair! I rip it open and NORA GOT ME A SNUGGIE. THE SAME EXACT SNUGGIE. I about went rip shit in the office and ran up and down the hallway, skipping like a 2nd grader. I knew Ryan would laugh and want to cut them both up, so when he picked me up, I showcased one through the door.

When I opened the car door, I said, "OMG, LOOK! And Nora got me a gift too. It's another Snuggie BITCH!" So I get in the car and tell him that Nora attached the gift receipt so I can exchange it for another color (you know, in case someone comes over my apartment and wants to chill with a Snuggie on the couch with me). So he says, "Well do you want to exchange it for a blue one?" I say, "Sure, why?"

He says, "Because I just wrapped a blue Snuggie for you right before I came here."

Readers of the LaLosch Blog......I AM THE OWNER OF 3 SNUGGIES. IN ONE DAY. December 22, 2009 will now be marked as 3 Snuggie Day.

I Got Nothin'

Sorry...

I got in this morning from my hellish flights. I haven't really stopped moving since this morning and I'm finally sitting down to just relax for a second. I'm so tired, that I can't even move my brain to figure out what I should talk about. I have a few things to write about, but my regularly scheduled being should return tomorrow.

By the way, you should go see "Up In The Air" with George Clooney. So good. Loved it. I'm reading the book now to see how it compares.

Ok, goodnight kids. So tired.

Leaving On A Jet Plane...At Some Point

Per usual, ManLosch and I cannot travel together. We theorize that when we travel alone, we have better luck. Then made that even more precise by saying when I travel alone, I'm usually on time and have better luck. So we actually determined that it's him. Here was our original itinerary:

5:40pm: Depart FLL for ATL
7:44pm: Land in ATL for hour layover. Arrange for a quick snack and relax.
8:50pm: Depart ATL for home(barf).
11:15pm: Arrive home.

Here is how reality quickly kicked us in the ass and shoved a pile of shit in our faces:

2:30pm: ManLosch and I try calling AirTran to get on an earlier flight after learning that our 8:50 flight was only delayed 10 minutes and our 5:40 flight was delayed until 6:20. We didn't want to miss the connection for fear of not getting home tonight.
2:45pm: We decide to just drive to the airport just in case, with AirTran still keeping us on hold, because there wasn't much else for us to do here anyway.
3:20pm: Stopped for gas to fill up the rental and as we stopped, we finally got an AirTran representative. After 48 minutes on hold, we got someone and all the flights were sold out anyway.
3:24pm: Me: "So what do you wanna do? We're already close to the airport." ManLosch: "We can just go and chill out."
3:45pm: Arrive at FLL. Return the rental. Both flights delayed, AND NOW even earlier at the airport than we originally planned. No massage places in sight and the "restaurant" is playing the Dolphins game that we couldn't give two shits about.
4:15pm(now): Taking advantage of the free Wi-Fi in the terminal (thanks Santa) and relaxing, happy that we haven't been stranded in an airport yet.


See you kids on the flipside of tomorrow.

Lincoln Road Is For People Watching

Because I've had a very relaxing weekend in Miami so far, I don't have a ton of things to talk about! But I did have lunch this afternoon on Lincoln Road on South Beach (early birthday gift from a friend) and we did alot of people watching. You don't realize how AWESOME that place is to talk about people. If I had a journal and all day to put a chair there and just sit, I totally would do it. We would start discussing how douchey it is for men to wear popped collars and then all of a sudden a swarm of men would walk by with popped collars. I even said "Sorry Fernando, I didn't mean to leave my Juicy sweatpants at home" because an entire family of women walked by in them. It's incredibly wonderful.

The weather is beautiful, a little chilly right now, but there's no reason I need to be sitting here blogging anymore, because I really need to be outside en mi segundo ciudad natal. :)

Tackiest Christmas Gifts

C'mon. Everyone, at some point, has received a horribly tacky Christmas gift (holiday gift, whatever). Something that makes you say "What the.....??" or "Who ARE you?" ManLosch was in middle school when he got a tacky Christmas sweater with a deer on it (he still owns it, don't let him fool you). One year, he also got a Halloween decoration. For Christmas. Tacky much?

Here are some of the tackiest Christmas gifts I think can be given:

A box of cake mix and a packet of gravy
A cat you found on the street prior to going over that person's house
A clearly worn shirt that you own, that the person has already seen you wear multiple times
A pool noodle
A pair of shoelaces and a bottle of shoe polish
Mrs. Fields cookies in a plaid bag that came from the supermarket 2 weeks after Christmas
Lingerie from your AuntCousin that is 3 sizes too big
A giftcard to PetSmart when you don't have any pets
A giftcard to Abercrombie when you aren't white
A membership to the "Cheese of the Month" club when you are lactose intolerant
A gift basket of lambskin prophylactics (and some of the boxes are missing a few)

Now if you want to know what I think are GREAT gifts.....just call me. There's a few days left until Christmas if you want to buy me something....I mean..ahem. Ya know.

I'm In Miami Trick

ManLosch and I got into our hotel last night after 12am (so I guess it was this morning) to only then wake up at a horrific 7am. His cousin Aly graduated from UM today, so of course being the dedicated UM alums, we came down to be here. But it was worth it. Because guess who the Commencement speaker was?

The Rock. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. That's right you whores I said THE ROCK. And he was awesome and hot. He IS a former graduate of The U. After the actual graduation and seeing some old friends, we had lunch at The Biltmore Hotel. Lovely hotel/golf course/I will never be able to afford this on my own place/restaurant. We ate there for a celebration lunch, and then came back to our hotel to change, as ManLosch got soaked in the rain from going to get the car for me. Did some shopping for Aly's gift and then went to her house to help her pack. Ordered pizzas, drank some beer, watched a movie, and dropped the Losch's off at their hotel for the night.

It's 11:38pm. I'm so effin tired. So it's time to get some rest. We're staying close to Miami International Airport, so we can fall asleep to the sound of jet engines. And dreaming about The Rock. The freakin Rock.

See ya soon kids(hopefully)

I'm at the airport, waiting to board. I don't want to miss the opportunity to blog, since we get into Miami late, so I'm quickly letting you guys off the hook of reading anything of mine tonight. I know it's not interesting ANYWAY but ya know.

So hey, one of the TSA officials was on her cell phone while checking boarding passes and ID's. One guy was coloring instead of looking at the xray machine. Oh Airtran. You never cease to amaze me.
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Moving My Lips, Forming A Smile

These things made me smile in the last 24 hours:

1) Vicky Cristina Barcelona
2) Being a rockstar at work
3) Portia di Rossi in "Better Off Ted"
4) Buying "The Hangover" which will allow me to remember such great quotes as:
"Not at the table Carlos."
"They should call them floories...or rapies."
"Is that a man purse??....IT'S A SATCHEL!"
"Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?"

5)Knowing that I'll be on a plane to Miami in less than 24 hours.
6) My co-worker Jared cursing the world because he lost another hubcap on his new Jetta. AAHAHA. Ok, sorry J.
7) The maple cinnamon bun I bought from Ohlin's Bakery this morning.

Hey kids, I'll be traveling the next few days, but will be blogging from my phone or when I have a second at the hotel. Don't forget about me, k?

Smooches and Toblerone kisses,
LaLosch

Lovin' It

Because it's the holiday season, I'm about to share with you a few things that I'm currently jonesin' on. You don't have to check them out or even care, but I've fallen in love with:

1) Temple Bar in Cambridge
I went there for brunch yesterday with ManLosch, DiDi and Paul. OMG SOOO GOOD! The homefries were amazing and the bacon was just perfect. Wanna go? Let me know, I'll sooo go back soon.

2) www.freekibble.com
You visit this site daily and answer a trivia question. You don't have to answer it right, but everytime you answer a trivia question 10 pieces of kibble are donated to local animal shelters!

3) The Vitamin String Quartet
Awesome group of strings that remakes modern songs like "Seven Nation Army," "Flashing Lights," and "Love Lockdown." Awesome stuff.

4) Beatbox Harmonica
This is an amazing song that's maybe not even quite 3 minutes, but it's exactly what the title of the song dictates. And it makes me want to shake it all over the place.

5) Soul Pancake
I'm diggin this site. Srsly. Check it out yourself or when amongst friends and wait for the conversation to fly.

Productive LaLosch

9am (maybe a little late) breakfast with Nora?
Check. And my chocolate croissant and part of her maple frosted bun? AND eating both with mocha flavored coffee at her apartment? AMAZING.

10am Mass?
Besides the old man who gave me my Jeezit and I noticed he had dirt caked under his fingernails? Besides the screaming orchestra of rugrats? Besides the baptism we weren't prepared for so Mass took a little longer? Eh. It was alright. I sucked it up.

11:30am Crockery?
Check. Placed my pork roast in the crockpot to make pulled pork later.

12:00pm Brunch at Temple Bar with DiDi and Paul?
Check. OMG SOOOO good. And the conversation wasn't too bad either DiDi. :)

2:45pm Outlet Shopping?
Check. Bought the ManLosch his Christmas gift. Got my cousin a gift. Got the ParentalLosch gifts. Got myself a cute little shirt.

4:30pm Best Buy?
Check. Got my mom an AWESOME gift.

6pm Home?
Damn homie. Pulled the pork which fell apart very tenderly. Started some black bean soup for a side dish and for lunch this week. ManLosch vaccuumed and went to the store. He also ordered some gifts online and I painted my toes. All before 8pm. Damn we're good.

10pm?
Shit. Watching tv. Relaxing. Wondering why Oprah just got kissed by the President and I'm stuck at home in my sweatpants, looking terrible. Ready to snooze. Productive Losch. Yes. Amen.

Night.........

Volunteering is Ridic Awesome!

ManLosch and I volunteered with the kitties again tonight. If we for sure knew that Jordan would get along with the cats, we might adopt one. So we're volunteering every other weekend now, and we may do more during the week if we can. They are soo adorable. What WASN'T adorable was when we let one out on his own and he knocked over his entire food bowl. Or the cat who hissed and tried to attack BOTH ManLosch and I. Otherwise.....they are awesome. :)

LoschDog: IQ 200

The LoschDog, also sometimes referred to by his common name Jordan, has been wearing the e-collar again. He's been licking his paws again due to what our lovely vets call "seasonal allergies." So he's wearing it to keep him from further irritating his paws. We've probably spent over $1000 at the vet for them to send us home with the same shit that doesn't work.

Well, Jordan has outsmarted us all. He has found a way to lick his paws WITH the e-collar on. I didn't think it was possible, but he figured it out last night. So this morning he was going to town on his back paws and ManLosch says to me over the phone, "Um I had to put the booties on him."

When I got home, apparently, the booties had long come off because he pulled them off. So I caught him licking his paws again when I got home and I said, "Okay, booties are going back on." See the above picture of the back paws outfitted with booties.

I have video of him walking with them on because he looks like a horse and you should watch it below....hilarious to me. Either way, I'm floored that he can still lick his paws even with the e-collar on. That $25 collar ain't doin shit.

So My Wife Thinks She Can Dance

I watched Tuesday night's "So You Think You Can Dance." There's the part right after the dancer does his/her solo where they give you the phone number to vote for your favorite dancer.
So on this season, a married couple has made it to the Top 8. They've never danced together, but they are ballroom dancers. The wife, Ashleigh, had a slipped shoulder or something. It fell out during rehearsal for a Bollywood routine. So she couldn't perform, BUT they are letting America vote for her anyway. The husband, Ryan, just did his solo, right? He was dancer # 8. And the host always lets the dancer say their number. She she says, "To vote for Ryan, call 1-866-Tempo-0_"

He says, "1. Please, don' t forget Ashleigh, she worked so hard....please vote for her, she really deserves your votes. I love you baby."

WHAT?! DUDE! This is a competition. Your number was 8. Tempo08, not 1. You're still competing against her, and you tell America to vote for her, AND YOU CRIED WHILE YOU SAID IT!!!

Totally ridic. Sorry man. You're stupid. Your wife's arm is in a cast. Take advantage of it!!! Ridic.

In Case of an Emergency

In case of an emergency crash landing on the ground or in water where the plane will most likely immediately break into millions of pieces or submerge itself in water, please remember, NO SMOKING AT ALL TIMES.

In the event of such crash, remember:
Cross your arms on the seat in front of you if you are a minority.
If no one is sitting next to you, wrap your arms around your legs in such yoga position and stare at your awesome shoes that you got on sale at DSW.
If traveling with a small child, remember to yoke the kid up by his neck and force it down. Pressing down onto the back of the child's head will ensure definite survival while you burn.
If you are expecting and traveling, well uh....grabbing the back of the seat isn't going to really help you. But no effort is gone unnoticed. At least you were not caught smoking and you earned some double miles today.

Thanks for flying with us, but you really shouldn't have choosen us today. Sorry about that. The drink service will begin when the cans and bottles are flying down the aisles uncontrallably.





(P.S. Thanks to everyone who commented on the "Damn You Karma" blog. I used www.random.org again. Congrats to Stefanie! You'll be receiving a $15 gift card from Target shortly.)

Airtran Sucks

First, we decided we don't like this kid. He's been all up in my shit aka my business, everytime I say something.

Second, the flight attendant yelled at me for placing my jacket in the overhead because bags weren't in there first. I said, "but there's nothing in there." He said, "Ma'am. Ma'am. Just take it out." I've already made it loudly known that I was not happy. My co-worker said, "can I put my jacket up?" I said, "Does it have wheels?" He said, "No." So I said, "then no."

WTF?! This is some recockulous shit.
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Stuff Lexi Likes #5

More stuff I like....because I'm awesome....and a little bit of the Caucasian persuasion.......

#122 Acoustic Covers
I love all music, so of course I'm going to love acoustic versions of songs. The book states that the crown jewel of a mix, is always an acoustic cover of a pop or hip-hop song. And when it's The Lost Fingers singing "Billie Jean?" Even better.

#123 Dave Chappelle
Anyone that can disappear to find himself and then return like nothing happened and still make money? I'm on board.

#125 Nintendo Wii
Get the f*ck outta here, I OWN a Wii. And I hope to own Wii Fit so I can hula hoop myself into another dimension. I frickin love my Wii and will offer it at any social function. I can't get myself coordinated enough for the PS2 or the PS3 we own, but you can give me a Wii remote anyday. Srsly. Anything Nintendo really. Lovin it. Now get out of my face. My Mii could beat up your Mii anyday.

#127 The Simpsons
Now remember, this is only stuff I like. I used to love the Simpsons, but they've fallen off a little bit. But I still appreciate their poke at pop culture and politics.

#132 Not Having Cash
It's not that I don't have it. It's that I just don't keep cash in my wallet. It's so strange. Part of it could be because my bank doesn't even exist in Massachusetts. And the book is right. There really is no time to find an ATM that won't charge me here. I always have to do cash back. Eh. I'd rather just use my card.

#137 Eating Outside
I love eating outside especially when the weather is nice here (which is like all of 3 days in Massachusetts). When I lived in Miami, I ate outside all the time, it was AWESOME. However, the book states "Picnics and cookouts have been a staple of white culture for years." Ummm HELLLOO??? Have you MET black people????

#138 Books
If you know me? This needs no explanation.

So there are a few more in the book that I will expand on, so I'll save the rest for one last blog! Don't forget the giveaway blog. It ends tomorrow evening and I'll pick the winner tomorrow evening or Wednesday morning.

Stay tuned homies and homettes!!!!!

Christmas Music Errrrwhere

ManLosch and I went to a Christmas concert at Harvard last night. It was free and he loves anything Christmas related, so we went. The group was called Kuumba. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but this is what I experienced:
Church
A Charity Event
A Black Spiritual
A Christmas Concert

At some points, I got a little confused, but otherwise, it was pretty decent. The group was also fairly diverse; not just black folk. An Asian. Some white people. Ya know. It was a pretty decent mix. And the audience? Well we just looked like one big UNICEF holiday card. My only complaint? During the "spiritual" songs, you can't really understand any other words besides "Jesus" and "Amen."

There was this dude though. We named him Jesse. I dunno, he looked like a Jesse. And he was the perfect example of white people with no rhythm. Again, I'm not racist. I can't be. The hubs is my piece of white chocolate. But let's get something straight. There is a large population of people of the Caucasian persuasion that have NO rhythm. Or that struggle with it. Those with a musical background have a better chance at it and usually succeed enough to get by (i.e. ManLosch.....he can stand his own and is no longer afraid to bust a freakin move with me). But those that clap on the "1" and the "3?" Those are the ones that are struggling. If you don't know what I'm talking about......well. I'll explain in more detail later if you need me to.

ManLosch and I have an ode to all those white men in the club who try to dance with women and can't dance for the life of them. We dance to the song "Don't Call Me Baby" by Madison Avenue and the dance is called "Whitey In The Club." It's fairly funny. And yes. We're fairly dorks. But this is something that Jesse will struggle with when he's older if he doesn't get a lesson or two right now. And I mean RIGHT NOW.

Otherwise, you will all be forced to watch people who try to dance by shrugging their shoulders all lopsided and clapping off beat. And when it's done to Christmas music? Santa and his posse would NOT approve.

College Football....Please Don't Go

ManLosch and I are watching the last of the college football games right now. We're flipping channels. We missed most of the games, as we were out at a "Christmas Concert" (which I will save and blog about tomorrow). I asked, "What's Landry Jones up to?"

Here's the thing: I have a thing for Landry Jones. And it's not like a good thing. It's that I'm obssessed with his moustache. The stache. So I call it the "LJ."

I also have a thing for Sam Bradford. But it's like a real thing. Like an adult crush. ManLosch is aware of MY awareness of the Bradford hotness. He's ok with it. We don't know what's happening with Sammy though either. Hmm.

So anyway, we're sitting here and there was some dude named "Fozzy Whitaker." And I said to ManLosch, "I think people name their kids in hopes that their name alone will cause them to be an athlete or do something big." The conversation that ensued? Names that we would have if we were football players.

Zip McDaniels
Seattle Washington
Danger Franklin
Storm Losch
Chicago Brown
Skip "The Truck" Jones
Arrow Playne
Risquee Johnson
Color Black

I love football. Lots of creative names. Lots of tight pants. And the season is coming to a close. I'll miss you football. Until we meet again next season....oh, and after all the bowl games....yea.

(Don't forget to comment on my 11/28/09 blog for a chance to win a $15 giftcard!)

Don't Let Me Near A Computer

Srsly......ManLosch is letting me blog AFTER a company holiday party. I had a little much to drink.

But I had fun. And I think I have some pictures. But he was in charge of me for the night. So he took all the pictures. So stay tuned to your regularly scheduled Lex. Because she'll be sober tomorrow......maybe.

For now....let me fall asleep with my makeup on and catch you on the flipside of tomorrow....


hooooollllllllleeeerrrrrrrrrrr

LoschDog Vs. The Vet

The LoschDog is not doing so great. He's back at the vet. Well he went today. He still has "seasonal allergies." So they did a skin scrape to test for something or another, he took a doggie dump in the lobby of the vet, and in the end:

He's on two different types of medication that total about $190.
He's wearing the e-collar again for a few weeks.
He's eating prescription food to help rule out any food allergies. The bag is 8lbs and costs the same as the normal 40 lb bag of Science Diet.
He needs his paws wiped with a special wipe.


Annnnnnnnnd he won't take the pills and he's extremely uncomfortable. And if all this shit today doesn't cure him, we have to take him to a doggy dermatologist. Yes. You heard me. A flippin' dog dermatologist.

Sigh. Every holiday Jordan....every freakin holiday.

The SQUEAKQUEL?!

Um..........

Yeaaaaaaa..................

Okay, first, Alvin & The Chipmunks are annoying. Srsly. They were annoying even when we were kids and watched the cartoon. Then they got a movie. Okay, whatever. I was able to look past that.

Now, there is a sequel. And they are calling it a "squeakquel." And I want to throw up and kinda punch one of them. Because now, the girl chipmunks (chippettes? chippies? chiplanas?) are singing "Single Ladies." And I'm having a hard time processing this. It makes my ears bleed when I hear it and it makes me keel over in abdominal pain.

WHO thought of this? Whoever did, hear this: when you go to sleep at night, when you're in the bathroom, when you're engaged in sexual relations with your lady(or man)...I hope you hear them. I hope you see them everwhere, singing, dancing, and thrusting little animated chipmunk hips.

I hate you.

Parking Wars

I am participating in NaBloPoMo for December! I'm just waiting for the new badges to come up so I can replace the one for November.

So I was at the store tonight, buying things for dinner and other random items that looked like they wanted to be bought. I'm at the check-out line and who do I see? Our neighbors. Like our upstairs neighbors.

ManLosch and I do NOT like our neighbors.

I looked up and the wife looked up and saw me, so in that random awkward moment we kinda smiled. I was nice; I waved and said "Hi." Do you know what that ho did? She smiled through gritted teeth and her husband barely acknowledged me. I quickly grabbed a magazine to hide my building "smack-a-bitch" feelings and pretended to read "People" (in which I then decided to BUY "People"). She kept checking on me to see how fast my line was moving and I almost threw my can of chicken broth over to her line to hit her in the head. But then I started checking on HER line. Here's why:

Our neighbors are extremely inconsiderate. They run the dry cleaners below us. They are Asian (just a fact! take that as you will....if you know me, then well.......yea. you know it's not racist....but well.....yea). We share the driveway and people will constantly park there to pick up their stupid dry cleaning and block us in, even with the "NO PARKING, PRIVATE DRIVEWAY" sign. Our neighbors smile and nod and pretend not to understand "This is fucking ridic, make them move their cars now!" They also park 3 cars and a van there, barely leaving us any space to park the car. ManLosch is 'bout ready to go all Jazmine Sullivan on our neighbors.

So back to the store. I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible so I could secure our space in the driveway before THEY parked. They checked out before me. DAMN! So I check out too and practically run to my car. I throw the bags in the car, look around for them and see that they are still loading the car. I start the car and you would have thought I was a NASCAR driver in that parking lot. But, I ended up one car in front of them and secured my space in the driveway.

Booyah. Suck on that 'natches.

I Did It!

I posted once a day for the entire month of November!!!

And it kinda feels good.

But the overwhelming feeling of "blah" has taken over. I had a horrible day at work and it didn't really get much better. I feel like poop. Which is overshadowing my slight feeling of accomplishment. I do have a ton of books to get through though and that helps to keep the blahs at bay a little.

What I'm reading?

I'm also diggin some new music:

And for once I DON'T really have that much to talk about (scary huh?).
Catch me tomorrow, when I'm hopefully in a better mood. And I'll be participating in NaBloPoMo for December too. Maybe just not officially. I haven't decided yet. Either way, keep on keepin' on with my blog and don't forget about the new giveaway!

Chrismahanukwanzakah Is Upon Us

Ahh the holiday season. Where have you been all my life? I love you so, please don't go. The screaming kids, the angry parents. It's like blog-material heaven!!!!

ManLosch and I were on our way to Mass this morning and I put some Christmas music on in the car. Well it was one of the stations that plays nonstop Christmas music until the new year, and I know how much he likes it, so I put it on that station. The song that came on was "Feliz Navidad." And the part that everyone usually joins in? "I WANT TO WISH YOU A MERRRRY CHRISTMAS." And I thought, "Well nowadays, you can't really wish ANYONE a Merry Christmas." These days, it's inappropriate to wish someone a Merry Christmas, because God forbid they don't celebrate Christmas. They may be Jewish, they may be atheist, who knows? So, to be politcally correct, we say...we print on cards....we greet people with "Happy Holidays."

Look, I'm sorry. But I celebrate Christmas. And I think it's alright to say "Merry Christmas" and print that on your cards. If you're speaking to someone that you KNOW is Jewish or doesn't observe, then I mean, yea don't be a jackass. But about 75% of Americans still call themselves Christian and in 2008, about 93% of Americans said they celebrate Christmas! Because if you WANT to get all high and mighty about this, then I'll say "Um, why didn't anyone wish me a 'Happy Kwanzaa'??" ManLosch and I were having a conversation about this and he said "I'm not going to be offended if someone comes up to me and says 'Happy Hanukkah.' It's just another celebration, it's not offensive." I mean, again, I'm not going to go to Long Island and say "Merry Christmas Hebrews and Shebrews!!"

But the point is, IT'S OK PEOPLE. You can say whatever makes you comfortable and if someone is offended, they'll tell you, you retract your statement, wish them a Happy (insert holiday here) and everyone continues with their shopping and crying. The whole point of the season is about giving; giving to those less fortunate, giving to your friends and family in whatever way you can. So even if you wish me a Happy Hanukkah, it won't matter. I'll say thank you and STILL celebrate on the 25th. Lighten up America. It's about the season....not just the day.

And while we're on it....I'm banning ALL Christmas sweaters.

LoschDog May Get Jealous

So the LoschDog maaayyy get jealous. ManLosch and I filled out applications to volunteer with kitties at PetSmart. It's a cat rescue and we filled out the applications to be Cat Caregivers, also known as the kitties bitches. We clean out their cages, feed them, change their bedding and litter, and play with them. Even though we only trained tonight, I've already fallen in love with some of them, especially the kittens. They were SOOOO cute.

But before you jump to conclusions, hear this: CATS ARE VERY HIGH MAINTENANCE. Holy crap. I thought ManLosch walkin the pup was enough, but cats are...eh. Cute, but they need a lot, especially shelter cats. I liked it though and can't wait until we're on our regular schedule. :-)
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Damn You Karma

ManLosch and I went to the mall today. Even AFTER I said "We aren't going to participate in Black Friday," we participated in Black Friday. It wasn't that bad though; we went a little later and went to Rhode Island to shop. :)

So anywho, we're in a shop and I'm about to purchase an item, and ManLosch looks down and says, "Hey someone dropped a dollar." We were like "Hmm ok." Then we were like "Well it's a dollar, we'll just pick it up." Holy crap, it was 1 dollar PLUS 99 dollars. Someone dropped a $100 bill in the store. We practically shat our pants. So I said, "So do we give it to someone?" He said, "Well it's cash. If we give it to the front to ask the store, EVERYONE will run for it." So we lingered in the store for an extra 15 minutes looking for anyone who looked like they lost something. No one. Nothin'. So I checked out and the woman asked "Do you want to donate money to St. Jude's Childrens Hospital? I didn't hear her and ManLosch said," YES. YES YOU DO. JUST DO IT."

So we walked out and I thought, "Well what do we do?" I called my mom and asked her. We weighed every possible option. Cash...in a mall....during the holidays. Really? So we went to the police and asked them and they said, "HA! Merry Christmas...take your lady out for a nice dinner. It's cash. There's not a whole lot you can do about it. But you also don't find alot of people who would have said something or thought about it either."

Soooo in the end...we're $100 richer. But I still feel like I didn't balance out the universe correctly, ya know? It wasn't mine to begin with, but maybe we were meant to find it. I was also told it was a trap. So who really knows? What I DO know, is that we aren't spending the money on ourselves. We found it, but that doesn't mean we should necessarily keep it.

So welcome to my 2nd giveaway of the month. Just comment on this blog about what you'd do with $100 for the holidays and you'll be placed into a random drawing for a $15 Target giftcard. The rules? You have to be a follower, there needs to be 10 or more comments, and the last day to comment will be December 8th (I'm giving a little extra time because of the holidays and the lack of keeping up with posts).

Hopefully karma won't kick my black ass for this. :)

Let Us Give Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving! It's been a nice day so far, taking it slow. Cooking and watching tv. I have my in-laws here and my friend Joey (say hi Joey). We're also about to play Wii. So this morning, as ManLosch and I were waking up, I started thinking about all the things I was grateful for. I started thinking that because I was extremely grateful to have slept in this morning and not have my phone ring or have to be at my desk at work. So I thought, "Why not share with everyone what I'm grateful for?" These are the things that I'm grateful for:

My husband
My family
My dog
My amazing friends
H&M
Soul Food
People who hate minivans
Cream cheese frostings
Barnes & Noble
Coupons from Nine West that appear in my email
iPods
Public Transportation (sometimes)
Madame CJ Walker
Deep fryers
Newbury Comics

I'm grateful for lots of other things too, but what are YOU grateful for? (besides having the opportunity every day to wake up and read my blog :-) )

Happy Thanksgiving!

Holidaaaaaaaaaaay

It's here. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Or as I like to call it, "FriWednesday." You can feel the buzz of excitement at work, hoping to get let out early. The frustration or elation of packing up your car to go visit family. And Black Friday (which I never dare bother with).

I love Thanksgiving; I go all out with the cooking. But the Friday after is sometimes the best because that's when ManLosch and I pull out the Christmas decorations, put on some music, and start decorating the apartment. One year, I would like our apartment to look like something the Griswold's would have put up ("Why is the carpet wet TODD??? I don't know MARGO!!") but until we have enough space for that to happen, we'll settle for the smaller decorations placed around the entire apartment.

I've got alot of reading, writing, and sleeping on my agenda this weekend. Feel free to stop by and lounge around with me. Watch a movie. If you're driving, be safe; no texting and driving and use a handsfree device if you have to talk kids. I don't need to get a call in the middle of my night that some deer jumped out in front of your car and kidnapped your boyfriend or girlfriend because you were too busy texting your friends. Bring me some pie back or something too. And a Snuggie.

Did You Forget To Share The Road??

Don't you remember me asking people to "Share The Damn Road?" I asked you, yes you, the bicyclist to share the road with me while I drive.

But I must extend this to a few other people as well. Are you listening? Because this is important. Minivans, I am asking you to SHARE THE ROAD. This morning, as I was driving down School Street:
(See the smile on my face?)
And I was slowing down because I was driving down a hill and coming towards a red light. A minivan was at a side street waiting to turn right onto the street:

Instead of waiting for me to safely brake behind the next car, the minivan decided to peel around the corner causing me to jam on my brakes and yell a long string of profanities:



This is why no one likes you minivan. I'd also like to throw in Subaru's and Volvo's when there are kids on board. Just because you are transporting children, does NOT give you the right to turn at your leisure, choose your own speed limit, and drive in between two lanes. Normally though, on a daily basis, I hate minivans. ManLosch has a stronger hatred of minivans, whereas before I could tolerate them, but today, minivan douche, you have been placed on my shitelist.

Also, bicyclist on my blindspot on the left side of my car, I CANNOT SEE YOU. Don't ride that close to my car. I drive a truck (well, an SUV/truck..a hybrid if you may) and I have no problem pummeling your ass, which is exactly what could have happened if I didn't do a double take while turning left from my lane.

One more time everyone and let's say it together: SHARE THE M&*$%^$%ING ROAD!!!!!

Why I Like Work

Okay, so sometimes I have these moments at work with my friend J (Punch-A-Pony) that make me laugh inside and sometimes laugh outside. He sends me this link online today:
http://shine.yahoo.com/event/thanksgiving/5-no-cook-thanksgiving-appetizers-546459/

And the following quick conversation ensues:

J: make me the turkey!
L: what? no.
J: YES!

woman...get in the kitchen and make me some pie!

L: you nerd

J: respect my authority

L: respect my fat ass.

J: exactly

These are sometimes, the bright spots of my days. Thanks J. :)

So 10 people commented on my blog and I used www.random.org to generate a random drawing for everyone. Each person that commented was assigned a number based on when they commented on the post. I used those 1-10 numbers and the magic number is 8! So congrats JK! You'll be receiving your $10 iTunes gift card very shortly.

I'll be doing one more random drawing before the end of the month is over since this one actually worked. Keep an eye out for the next giveaway!

It's The Most Expensive Time Of The Year

I've been doing alot of thinking lately about what to get people for Christmas. Usually, I don't start to recognize Christmas until AFTER Thanksgiving, but thanks to the holiday overload America puts us on (Christmas music on the radio right after Halloween, lights up, decorations already lit and prominent, Christmas trees available weeks ago), you kinda don't have a choice BUT to start thinking about it. Which also led me to think, "Damn Gina, I ain't got NO money!!"

So what kind of gifts do you buy for people when you're strapped for cash yourself? I thought, "Everyone will think I'm lame." But I took a moment to realize that I shouldn't be scoffed at for trying to save my own money or spending that money on something that will benefit ManLosch and I in the long run. I work hard for my paycheck and I'll be damned if I spend all of it on frivolous gifts this year. So I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to be creative with gifts this year. No, there will be no nasty fruitcakes and shit. But I hope to bring smiles to faces, per usual.

Know what else sucks? My birthday is 5 days after Christmas. So here are the excuses I get:
"Hey Lex, Christmas was 5 days ago, so here is your birthday AND Christmas gift!"
"Eh, I'm tired from the family gatherings and I'm going out tomorrow for New Year's Eve, so I'm going to opt out of going out with you tonight."

So guess what? Remember that gift I gave you on your birthday or on Christmas? Count that as both. I'm a recessionista, what can I say?

I can't wait for the holidays!

I <3 Brookline Booksmith

There is an independent bookseller in Brookline called Brookline Booksmith. The Augusten Burrough's event was held through them (his holiday book is just DELIGHTFUL INDEED) and I bought my book there. I also bought a bargain book from them at the Boston BookFair. So I figured, this must be a good store, let me check it out.

Well I also found out that they buy used books too. I brought in some old paperback chick lit books today just to see if they'd buy them back and I was given the option of about $12 or $17 in store credit. STORE CREDIT PLEASE! Their used book area downstairs is AMAZING and they have great bargain books upstairs too. I bought 4 books today and with the credit, only spent $4. I left completely in love with this place. Like dizzy in love. Can you be dizzy in love with a bookstore? I don't know, but I am.

Now excuse me, I have some reading to attend to.

Kathy, it's you. Not me.

I went to Panera for a salad today for lunch to go with my soup that Jared (Punch-A-Pony) made and brought in last night. I got to the register and noticed that Kathy was working today. Kathy is an older woman...like 70 or 75 maybe. If she's only 50, then she's had ALOT of hardships in her life.

Anyway, there was a gentleman already giving her his order. And as usual, she was slower than molasses. I moved around a bit. I looked at the manager behind the counter in hopes that he'd come over and take my order at a different register. No such luck. He just gave me this look like "Damn, I'm sorry you got Kathy."

So she finally gets to me and I give her my order and she says "What did you say you wanted?" You gotta be kidding me right? I re-state my order and then she says, "What's your name?" I say "Alexis." Wanna know how she spelled it?

A-I-E-X-I-S (I will post a picture of the receipt later.)

C'mon Kathy. I know it wasn't the way I said it. I'm going to need you to step it up, or um...well....we'll see. I may complain. At least my Greek salad was right. Kathy, we'll try again next week, okay? Go clean out your hearing aid please.

Boo Sickness

So the office bug is starting to catch up to me and I left work sick today.

I slept some, ate some soup, and watched a show from last night on the DVR. I barely even feel like writing this, but I must blog for my devoted readers (yea like all 3 of you). Anyway, some more soup, orange juice, and rest and I should be good to go! I think part of it is slight exhaustion too, but we'll see how I feel tomorrow.

Just a reminder: not everyone who commented on my music blog from Monday is a follower, and so far, not enough people have commented. We've still got a few days for the giveaway, but let's hope that some more people read it and comment (and also click on "Follow" to be eligible).

Okay, I might go back to sleep soon. Sniffle and snooze.

Waffles in Crisis

Even waffles have taken a hit with the recession.

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/108191/leggo-your-eggo-theres-a-waffle-shortage

Apparently Kellogg's is announcing an Eggo Waffle shortage from now until mid-2010.
Um.....yeaaaaaaaaaa.

I think some people are really pissed off about this. I mean, I like waffles (I prefer Belgian Waffles though....so good....). I'm not sure I'd go crazy if there were no Eggos though. However, I MIGHT be upset if there were any food shortages of:




Or:

I mean because really....everyone eats that crap. Every day. You should see the stash ManLosch and I keep in our house. Srsly.

Oh You Nasty Girls

11/17/2009

To: The Women of The Arsenal on The Charles

Good evening ladies,

At the close of our business day, I had to tinkle, considering I've been drinking alot of VitaminWater lately. So I shuffled on down to the restroom. Now, please, can someone tell me why I found a PLATE in one of the stalls, that clearly had food on it with some napkins.

Anyone? Anyone want to take a stab at that? No?

That's nasty ladies. We give off the impression that we're pristine and proper and turn up our noses when guys belch or fart. And then you go and leave plates in restroom stalls. Whoever placed it there, we'll all close our eyes for approximately 58 seconds while you go and remove it from the stall.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
Lexi (Mrs. Losch if you're nasty)

Music...Makes The People...Come Together

I like listening to music. And some of the things I listen to aren't really mainstream. Some things I listen to don't make it into the Top 40, or probably even the Top 200. But I like it. Sometimes it energizes me and sometimes I just relate to it and relax. Now don't get me wrong, I still love me some Ne-Yo, Jill Scott, etc. I love alot of mainstream. But tonight, I'd like to share with you 15 songs that you may have never heard (maybe slightly indie) that completely rock my world.

1. Today Has Been Okay by Emiliana Torrini
2. Hold You In My Arms by Ray LaMontagne
3. Destination Vertical by Masha Qrella
4. The Garden by Mirah
5. With The Notes In My Ear by Peter Broderick
6. A Storm Is Going To Come by Piers Faccini
7. Doorway by IO Echo
8. Turn And Turn Again by All Thieves
9. Koop Island Blues by Koop Island
10. Feeling Good by My Brightest Diamond
11. Liar by 8mm
12. Genesis by Justice
13. Hip Hip Chin Chin by Club Des Belugas
14. On Board by Friendly Fires
15. Billie Jean by The Lost Fingers

If you are interested in hearing any of the above songs, just let me know! I'll make you a CD(seriously). And because I love music so much, I'm offering a giveaway! Well, here's the thing. Most of you either don't read my blog or if you do, you don't offer words of love in the form of comments. So if you are reading, we'll find out. I'd love to giveaway a $10 iTunes giftcard. If enough people participate, then I'll do a random drawing on November 23rd of the people that comment on this blog. So 10 (or more) people for $10 (and you have to be a follower)! If not, well then hopefully you'll still want to share in my love of music and want to listen to the above 15. Either way, think about it.... :-)

LaLosch Learns About "Load Bearing Members"

And wouldn't you like to know exactly what that is????
It sounds like......yea. EXACTLY THAT. It's so awesome.

But, unfornately, it's not what you think. I had ManLosch teach me some architecture words today, kinda like 1st grade flash cards. Architecture for True Dummies. We were eating a fabulous lunch at Pizza Hut today after Mass (which by the way, they brought back the holy water AND the "Peace Be With You's....ehhhhhh) and I said "So teach me something architecturally related." ManLosch says,"That's a little vague babe. What do you want to know?" I said, "I dunno, something that will make me sound like the smartest person alive. Like I want to tell someone they look like something architecturally related and they'll have no idea what the hell I'm talking about."

So he thinks. And he says "Cupola." I said, "Who?" He said, "A cupola. It's like, uh, it's always on a roof. It's often an ornamental feature." I said, "Like the Capitol building in D.C.?" He says, "No that's a dome." (BTW people, we came back to this and I was right. He finally knew which piece I was talking about)

Then we started talking about how engineers make it work and architects make it pretty, and that you need an architectural engineer to be your consultant. I asked him why he can't ask a civil engineer. He said "Because they are mainly responsible for LARGE INFRASTRUCTURAL PROJECTS." I said, "Whoa, whoa. What's that? That's phrase number 2." He said, "Like all the roadwork you see, highways, bridges, etc." (Why they can't just say bridges and crap, I don't understand).

Then he looked at me, smiled, and said "Load Bearing Members." I said, "WHAT?! Wait, not here. Not at Pizza Hut. Really??" He laughed and said, "That's a phrase. I knew you'd like it." I said, "What the hell?! What is that? As far as I know, a load bearing member is....." He said, "Well basically, you are a load bearing member. I am too. The furniture is too. Architects have to take into account all structural members that carry a load, like weight."

I was all too happy with this last one and all day, I've been pointing out load bearing members. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! I also taught myself "geodesic dome" a few months ago, so everything I said today sounded a little like:

"Your large geodesic structural project of a face looks a little like Johnny is holding onto a load bearing member."

I LOVE architecture.

Just How Black Am I?

So black, that I did NOT enjoy that ski film I went to with ManLosch. Know why? There were NO black people there to watch it. White people love them some ski shit. It was a montage ("We need a montaaaawwwwge") of different white folks on skis, falling and zipping through the snow to rock music and everyone in the audience was like "YEA Skip ROCKS! Wooooo, yeeeeeea."

At least I know not to watch that again. Or go to an event at the Berklee Performance Center; the seats are made for Smurfs, I'm convinced.

Either way, back to my Saturday night of watching friends play beer pong! (That just made my black argument null and void, huh?)
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All I Want For Christmas is......

I'm getting an early jump on my Christmas list this year people (ManLosch....are you reading this?). So feel free to come back to this whenever you aren't sure what to buy me for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or my birthday!

1) Wii Fit (because my gym membership isn't enough....even when I barely go)
2) A new digital camera (just because...shut your face)
3) A puppy (because LoschDog needs a friend)
4) A kitten (because LoschDog needs a squeaky toy)
5) A $2,000 gift certificate to Barnes & Noble (because we allll know how books can be expensive these days)
6) A MacBook Air
7) New neighbors (because the ones upstairs SUCK royally)
8) A servant (I take kids, midgets, anyone. I don't discriminate)
9) World Peace
10) Kidz Bop 16 (because we all love versions of our favorite songs sung by your neighbor's 10 year old boy whose b*lls haven't even dropped yet)
11) A Snuggie

Stay tuned.......

You Saw WHO??

I went to yoga last night. I mean, I normally go on Wednesday nights for my 7:30pm class. Hatha Yoga with Jill (we love you Jill....Namaste). So I settle in, put my mat down, take my sweater off, and start trying to relax. And I see someone walk in.

I squint a little, with the low lighting and not having my glasses on, and I think, "Hmm, that person looks familiar." I stretch a little more and the face gets closer. I think, "Hmm, that person DEFINITELY looks familiar...wait....is that.....noooooo...no it can't be."

Yep. It was my freakin therapist.
And if you could imagine a silent freakout in ones' own head, I can imagine I looked like this:

(The fact that I go to therapy is no secret people. It's on my list and it's nice to pay someone that you can vent to objectively)

But yes, she walked in. And she recognized me. And she put her mat right down next to mine and talked to me. It was all KINDS of strange. And so what? Yea, I freaked out a little, but hey guess what?? That's why I'm in therapy people. Makes a little more sense now doesn't it? I think it's the fact that you never expect those types of people to have an outside life other than doing what they get paid to do. Kinda like "No, they just go to work and then go home." Like if you were in 3rd grade and you saw your teacher in the mall and you're like "OMG IT'S HER! I KNOW HER! And she's going to talk to my parents about my class performance on the weekend in the mall!!!!!!!!!"

I'm not making a big deal of it, but I AM telling you that it was strange. Like "Oh, that baby named Cortez has 6 fingers" strange.

It's Back!

I waited too many weeks for this. But it's finally back. Tonight.....it's finally back.


I'll be parking my sweet ass on the recliner tonight and reuniting with Mr. Shu, Prego Quinn and her clueless boyfriend Finn (THE BABY ISN'T YOURS DUMMY!!), and my idol Sue Sylvester. Sue, no worries. We're only a few hours away from reuniting in Glee glory.

If you haven't given this show a chance yet.....damn. I feel for you. Now go watch it and tell me what you think.

Things Running Through My Mind

Here are just a few things that were possibly running through my mind when this photo was taken:
1) You got GOT homie! I just took all your money!
2) Did YOU dress me in a bleached 80's EPCOT shirt?? Because if so, this is truly atrocious.
3) Keep laughing at my knock knees. You just keeeeep laughing.
4) I think my cheeks are as big as your stomach.
5) Wait, why is my hairline uneven? Hey, well...I guess it's kinda funny.
6) I just jumped on Mommy's stomach to ensure that I was going to be the last! Ha HA!
7) Hello mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper, and it's not a toaster.

Cryin'

Dear Mr. Tyler,

My name is Lexi Losch and you have devastated my husband, otherwise known as ManLosch. You are apparently leaving Aerosmith, his most favoritist band ever known to mankind ever in the world ever. He sent me a message at work to let me know and I had to sit shiva for him. How could you do this? You had my man cryin'(get it? i used you your song for the joke.....yea....you got it......yeaaaaa).

In an effort to ease the pain, he listened to your CD's while working from home. Are you really leaving? Because I think this might be a publicity stunt. What? Oh, you're kinda for real leaving? Oh. Well I...oh. Okay, well ManLosch is crying again. Why'd you have to go and break your leg on tour and then make a big deal about Brand Tyler?! I thought you gave up drugs and some drinking. No? Well do you really have to quit? ManLosch is pretty broken up about this; we even went to an Aerosmith concert on our wedding anniversary so you really can't leave the group. So you're pulling a Journey? Or a Guns n Roses? Just because Joe Perry left once doesn't mean you have to do the same thing (and you should really think about returning his phone calls, that's not right). And ManLosch just said that Brad Whitford left too, but who the hell knows who he is anyway?

So think about it Stevie buddy. You know you don't want to quit. So keep your scarf wrapped microphones and harmonica solos. ManLosch will be broken and go Crazy (ha! get it?) if you leave. You know you don't wanna miss a thing (ahh I'm so good). Just go back to the studio.

Dream On forever,
LaLosch

Verdict??

I'm proud to be an American (where at least I know I'm free...yea yea), but I just got home from Niagara Falls. I was there with ManLosch for the weekend and as you know, there is a Niagara Falls, NY and Niagara Falls, ON. We frequented both the American and Canadian sides.

I'm sorry America....but Canada has you beat. Like seriously. I think we spent more than half our time in Canada. When you look at the U.S.A. from Canada, you think "Hmm, well it looks like everyone is slummin' it eh." When you look at Canada from the U.S.A., you think "Holy crap, let's go there to gamble, and eat dinner, and not be bored." As we were coming back into the States Saturday night, there was a LINE at customs to get INTO Canada that went as far back as our hotel. People were ready to party in Canada and NO ONE was ready to party in the U.S.A. C'mon America, that should tell you something. Put some Christmas lights up or hang up a wooden welcome sign.

Either way, we had an awesome time. I'll discuss later and post some pics when I'm not so damn tired from the 7 hour drive. 'Night kids.

Squeaky Shoes and the 6 Finger Baby

ManLosch and I spent most of the day in Toronto today. We went to visit Chris and Jarrett there and spent the day walking around. We did the one big tourist-y thing there and went to the CN tower, which I affectionately call "The Big Needle Building." So we head up and while we're waiting in line to go to the very top (can't remember what it's called), there's this family behind us of like a million. They had this stroller made for 3 kids. I already knew the wait in line based on that alone would be shitty.

So the dad walks by with one of the kids. And something is squeaking. I assume at first it's just a toy. No. It was not. The kid had on squeaking shoes. So everytime the thing-kid took a step, it squeaked, like a dog toy (ManLosch and I discussed that we could never dress our kids in those because LoschDog would think the kid was a squeaker toy and go after him/her). I was ready to rip the shoes off and throw them from the top of the tower. Until I then noticed the kid's sister or brother (I don't know, alot of babies look the same to me) sleeping in the front seat of the tri-seater. I looked and noticed that the hands moved a little and I looked at the small hands. And I said to myself "Hmm, wait a minute, something doesn't look anatomically correct." So I start counting, because I'm weird and I count people's fingers sometimes. And I said "One, two, three, four, five......SIX?!??! Wait, Six???" Yea, this baby had 6 fingers. Holy crap. I tried to contain it, but I told ManLosch and then I told Chris. Of course Chris started laughing and I was trying to hold it in the best I could. It wasn't like "HAHAHA, your 6 fingered baby is a freak." It was that weird, uncomfortable laughter because you don't know how else to react to a 6 fingered baby.

Either way, once we got to the top, we discovered that the 3rd kid had the squeaking shoes too. And the kids names were "Diego" and "Cortez."

Yea. You read right.

Oh Canada.

Isn't She Lovvveelllly

It's a Natural Wonder of the World people. Behold Mother Nature's majestic beauty, even when it's 40 degrees out. And I had to borrow Ryan's hat. And I was wearing a poncho so I wouldn't get wet and thus suffer a horrible Niagara version of hypothermia. But other than that, it's pretty right?? :-)
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

LaMontagne and Niagara

Last night, I went to a concert with a friend, DiDi (thanks for the ticket DiDi!). We saw Ray LaMontagne at the Wang Theatre in Boston and it was nothing short of amazing. It felt like you were in a living room, wrapped up in blankets, sipping some wine (or your alcoholic beverage of choice), and just relaxing away your evening. It was great. What WASN'T great was the opening act. It got so bad that DiDi got up and left to wait in the lobby because she couldn't take it. In between songs, he said "So are you guys ready for Ray LaMontagne??" And everyone started screaming. So we all thought that he was done. But then he started another song and a loud young woman yells out "No, we want him NOW, WE WANT HIM NOOWWWWWWWW!!!" That, I'm fairly sure, was heard by the entire audience and quite possibly the crappy opening act.

Anyway, I'm on vacation. ManLosch and I drove to Niagara Falls. We finally got here about 30 minutes ago and we can see the mist of the falls from our hotel window, it's pretty. And free wireless allows me to update you lovelies on my trip. So right now, we're trying to figure out what the hell is going on and what you have to pay for and then we're going to walk out to see the falls lit up at night, get dinner, and probably crash because it was a long drive. But I will be seeing Christopher Jones in Toronto in 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Score. Okay, I'm hungry. Catch me on Twitter or something. I'll holler homies.

I Look Like.....Leona Lewis??

Hey kids, I have a story. So I went to Panera for lunch today. Panera is in the same complex of my workplace. I go to open the door and a man opens the door for me (he's walking out). He's this short little Asian man. He says "Wow, are you a princess?" I stop and I'm like "What? Huh?" Parts of the rest of this story will be in conversation format to save space...
Him: Are you a princess? You look like one.
Me: Uh, no I'm not. But I damn sure wish I was one.
Him: Well you definitely look like one. No wait, you look like that girl from American Idol. You know...um, she was on American Idol, I think last season
(I now have a perplexed look on my face because I have NO idea who he is talking about, considering I don't really watch AI anymore)

Him: You know, the Britain girl, that one.
Me: (now realizing who he is probably referring to) You mean Leona Lewis?
Him: YES! YES! You look just like her. Very beautiful. Are you a professional singer?
Me: No.
Him: You sure? You look like one. You sing around here?
I again answer no, in hopes that I can go and get my lunch sooner rather than later. So I tell him I played the flute in college, maybe thinking that my band nerd status will push him away. It doesn't.

Him: Oh! So you are a professional flute player?? You look like one.
I want to smack him at this point. Because how the f*$k do I look like EVERYHING? So I finally get him off this topic and he says...

Him: Well do you work around here? This is the first time I've seen you.
(Ok McStalker)
Me: Yea, I work across the street.
Him: Oh wow! Me too! Where?
Me: Across the street.
Him: Cool, cool. Yea, what's your name?
I was stupid and wasn't fast enough on my feet so I said..
Me: Lexi
Him: That's pretty. My name is Mohammed Ali.
Um....what? Then he finally just laughed nervously and said his name was Ali.

Him: So, uh, do you like Japanese food? I go to this awesome place in Coolidge Corner.
Me: I like sushi, yea.
Him: Would you like to go with me to eat sushi sometime soon??
Me: No thanks, I'm going to have to pass.
Him: Well, we could just go eat something else. I mean, I'll eat anything, it doesn't have to be sushi.
Me: No, I mean, I don't think my husband would appreciate me going out to have sushi with a man he's never met. Especially on a date.
Him: Oh! I didn't see the rings. Sorry, I was so focused on your beautiful eyes. (WHHHHAAAAAAT???? Sha-huh??)

He then proceeded to tell me that maybe he could meet my husband so he could bring his friends and I could bring my husband for sushi. This makes NO kind of sense. NONE. Are you flippin kidding me?! Either way, this conversation ended because I kept inching towards the registers, trying to send a signal that I was starving, but that apparently didnt work. Anyway, I just thought this entire exchange was hilarious. I had a good time. I hope you did too. And watch out for little dudes opening doors for you....they might think you're a professional Leona Lewis flute player.

Stuff Lexi Likes #4

I hope you're keeping up with my blog so you know that we're on a journey together to find out how white I am.

#90 Dinner Parties
Well I like food. And I like parties. So why WOULDN'T I like dinner parties? Especially when there is wine and lots of laughter. And I know I'm not the only one. So who wants to invite me to one?

#101 Scarves
I don't own THAT many but I like scarves. It's a nice addition to an outfit and they are so cute when dressed with a white shirt. Okay, let me stop because I think the scarves one alone is proving how white I am.

#108 High School English Teachers
I had some of the BEST English teachers in high school. Especially Mr. Lanzetta. 11th grade. 11th grade was when I re-discovered my love for reading and discovered that I was a decent writer. Or Mr. and Mrs. Trotta (yea, I had a husband and wife, 10th grade and 12th grade AP English). The only thing I was good in while in high school was English. So shut your face.

#121 Reusable Shopping Bags
I like saving the Earth. We only have one! And why wouldn't you want to try to make this planet better for yourself? Get out of my face.

I'll keep it short this time kids. The next installment may be the last one and we'll tally up the goods.

Blue Ford Focus, How Art Thou?

Dear Tricia,

It was nice to finally meet you this morning. I thought to myself "She's going to think I'm a psycho, coming up to her car to ask her a question, maybe I shouldn't do this." But something told me that I should. So I did. And you were nice. I asked you if you went to UM and you said yes so I told you that I did too. A smile that is recognizable among fellow 'Canes told me that you were happy to meet another UM Alum who got caught in the arctic Northeastern air (arctic compared to living in Miami right?). We talked for a few minutes, about graduation dates and about living in Miami past graduation. Then you asked me about football games and we talked about that. I introduced myself and you thought my name was Leslie. That's ok. I corrected you. As I do everyone who thinks my name is Leslie.

So Tricia, it was nice to meet you and your Blue Ford Focus decked out in Miami stickers and the license plate holder. We work in the same building for different companies, but maybe...just maybe we'll talk again.

Hope your Monday was better than mine.

Sincerely,
Leslie (but I prefer Lexi)

Swine Flu Hits The Catholics

ManLosch and I went to Mass this morning (natch). We sat, did our initial prayers, and waited for Mass to begin. Well, the priest, Father Al, had a few morning announcements. Due to the increasing swine flu epidemic/pandemic/paranoiademic, a few changes would be happening in the church. So ManLosch and I silent the voices in our heads (okay, only I silent the voices in my head) to listen.

Father Al reminds us of all the Purell stations around the sanctuary. Then he said "I'm sure you all noticed that when you walked in, there was no holy water. The Archdiocese has made the recommendation to remove all holy water stations until further notice." YOU SERIOUS?! REALLY? Then he says "If you need holy water for your home, please see me and we can make arrangements." I looked at ManLosch and was like "Is this for real??"

Then he continues. He says "During Communion, there will only be the host. The Archdiocese has also recommended that we do not offer the wine. We will continue to take the wine when blessing the host. Also, if you can try to refrain from taking the host directly on the tongue, that would help." I was alright with that. Even though the wine DOES help wash down my tasteless Jeezit, I figured I'd survive. I mean, if Jesus survived in the desert for 40 days, I think I can survive eating a cracker that's supposed to be him without the grape juice follow up (Belmont is a dry town people).

THEN IT GETS BETTER. Father Al continues. He says "Last, The Archdiocese has also recommended that we do not offer each other a sign of peace. Where normally we would turn to our brothers and sisters in the congregation to shake hands and offer a friendly hello, you will only respond with 'And also with you' after I say 'May Peace Be With You Always.' After that, we will go straight into Communion." WHHHHAAAAT?! If you read my blog then you KNOW how much I abhor the "Peace Be With You" part of Mass. So when he said this, ManLosch looked at me and laughed because I nearly jumped out of the pew in excitement.

So during Mass, ManLosch and I kept making jokes like "Oh, please don't touch the songbook. See that spot? That's swine flu" or "Please don't pray out loud because if you open your mouth, you might spread swine flu." He even said, "Next week, they'll instruct us to NOT come to church, but watch the webcast of Mass and then we can lick the screen when they hold the host up to the camera." I'm surprised that it took this long for the Catholics to get all paranoid about the flu. Wasn't Catholicism around during all the plagues? Were they not sharing wine and bread and handshakes then too? I mean, I'm not complaining about the "Peace Be With You" part, but don't you think ALL of this is a little excessive? Wait, don't tell me out loud. You might spread swine flu.

GoodBye October, Hello NaBloPoMo

It's 11:45pm on Halloween. I'm getting ready for the month of November, which for me is NaBloPoMo. One blog post a day for the entire month. So am I glad October is almost over? Yea kinda.
So what do YOU have to look forward to by reading my blog everyday for a month? Well let's just say there will be prizes and giveaways people. And I'm super super duper serious about that. I'm going to try to turn a normally dull month into something fun. So stay tuned for all the good times.

Bring it on NaBloPoMo!!

Srsly

Man, I hate serious blogs. So I'm going to just mix this one up.
First, thank you all SO SO MUCH for all of your kind words and prayers for my dad. It's definitely helping all of us get through this a little bit easier. Right before I left for yoga, my longtime friend Zoe called me and we talked a little, and that phone call really almost made me cry. So thanks Zoe, I miss you and I love you. And many thanks to my new friend DiDi, who is helping me keep my mind off all the seriousness by inviting me to a concert next week. :) All the words and encouragement are so appreciated, I'm not sure I can put it into anymore words.

On another note, I also wanted everyone to check out the little badge on the sidebar. I joined this site called NaBloPoMo, and it stands for National Blog Posting Month. So for the month of November, I will be posting everyday. So I hope you'll keep following and remain interested, because November will be a fun month, despite all of the serious going on around me! I'm doing this with a fellow blogger, Steph from Canada (her blog is Life's Surprises if you're interested) so we're going to motivate each other.

Okay, back to harassing the hospital... :-)

I Don't Like Somber Blogs

I was so hyped to write about the Boston Bookfest that I attended this past Saturday. I was going to go on and on about the sessions I attended and the literary journals and books I bought (for under $20 mind you).

And then my dad had a heart attack. Yeaaaaaaaaa.

So I don't really do somber blogs or anything. That's not really me. But he's doing better. It doesn't help that my relationship with him has been somewhat strained. And when I say "somewhat" I mean "really" and when I say "strained" I mean awful and atrocious. So when he left me a voicemail, all I thought was "Oh here we go again." I was having a great Sunday brunch with the ManLosch, and getting ready to go see a movie, so I said "Eh, it can wait." Well, uh.....right. Either way, my brain has been going a mile a minute since Sunday night. I went to visit him yesterday; we drove from Boston at 4am to Brooklyn and back in the same day. We did alot of talking and I did alot of being mean to the nurses and doctors because they were slightly confused. And when I say "slightly" I mean completely and when I say "confused" I mean incompetent. I spoke to him tonight and he's doing alright, except for the fact that he's not in his own room anymore. He's apparently making a large to do about wanting to go back to the CCU so he can have his own room again. I yelled at him and told him to please stop annoying the nurses.

Anyway, if you're reading this and knew, thanks for being there for me and my family during this. He doesn't really get along with most of the family anymore, so I think it was nice that he's been in everyone's prayers lately. And all I can really do right now is take this day by day.