25 March 2012

Are YOU Trying to Lose Weight??

When I was pregnant with Jovie, I gained 42 pounds. Please, keep your snarky comments about my pre-baby weight to yourself. I was told that within a few months, I'd be back to my pre-baby size. Okay, great, right?

Well, that didn't happen. I lost some weight and then I gained it all back with the stress of my last job. Then, once I moved to Texas, I vowed to lose some of the weight (I DO like some of the weight, I wont lie). I went to the gym like 5 times maybe. Then I decided to keep snacking at my desk at work, therefore keeping the preggo pooch.

I have finally discovered the secret to shedding those preggo pounds. You ready to hear it? It's called the "Running After Your Toddler" exercise and diet regimen. Your child is trying to climb the steps again? Your child is trying to go outside through the doggie door? Your child is trying to strategically place EVERY single piece of tupperware you own in the corners of your pantry? Did your child grab the remote, put it behind her back, and run away from you? Is he playing in the doggie water bowl? Is he trying to run and play in the Jesus sanctuary at church? Did she pee on the floor as you were walking her naked self to the tub? If you've answered yes to one or more of those questions, you too can lose weight by simply chasing after your child. Add on a few more pounds of weight loss by repeating the word, "NO" over and over; this works your abdomen if said forcefully enough.

This also ensures that you place less food in your mouth because you are trying to control what the child throws while in the highchair at home or even out to eat! This guarantees an unfinished plate, a physical workout from picking up pieces of chicken fingers, and utter exhaustion.

Call now for your free consultation!

3 comments:

  1. LOL! I am on the same fitness plan! When I was pregnant (when I gained the same amount of weight as you), I gave away all my "skinny" clothes because I figured I would always weigh a little more and would never fit into them again. How wrong I was. What with picking up my giant toddler, chasing her everywhere, and having her eat half the food off my plate, I now weigh less than I did before I got pregnant. I've switched to whole milk so I don't lose TOO much. It's crazy. I try not to admit this to other moms, because it seems like our own bodies are so out of control. Some gain, some lose. Nobody's body does exactly what we want. The toddlers rule our lives. And sometimes they are harsh, brutal personal trainers.

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  2. God, childfree never sounded so wonderful.

    I'll take acupuncture and a balanced diet. I've only lost about 7.7 pounds in a month. but I also don't have to clean up chicken fingers from the floor...I have doggies to do that.

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  3. No doggies at a restaurant mama. You're on clean-up duty there. And alot of parents don't clean up after their kids at restaurants but I have anxiety about leaving a mess created by a small human for someone else to clean up. I clean up after Jovie no matter where we go. So I get double the exercise! Woot.

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