Are YOU Trying to Lose Weight??

When I was pregnant with Jovie, I gained 42 pounds. Please, keep your snarky comments about my pre-baby weight to yourself. I was told that within a few months, I'd be back to my pre-baby size. Okay, great, right?

Well, that didn't happen. I lost some weight and then I gained it all back with the stress of my last job. Then, once I moved to Texas, I vowed to lose some of the weight (I DO like some of the weight, I wont lie). I went to the gym like 5 times maybe. Then I decided to keep snacking at my desk at work, therefore keeping the preggo pooch.

I have finally discovered the secret to shedding those preggo pounds. You ready to hear it? It's called the "Running After Your Toddler" exercise and diet regimen. Your child is trying to climb the steps again? Your child is trying to go outside through the doggie door? Your child is trying to strategically place EVERY single piece of tupperware you own in the corners of your pantry? Did your child grab the remote, put it behind her back, and run away from you? Is he playing in the doggie water bowl? Is he trying to run and play in the Jesus sanctuary at church? Did she pee on the floor as you were walking her naked self to the tub? If you've answered yes to one or more of those questions, you too can lose weight by simply chasing after your child. Add on a few more pounds of weight loss by repeating the word, "NO" over and over; this works your abdomen if said forcefully enough.

This also ensures that you place less food in your mouth because you are trying to control what the child throws while in the highchair at home or even out to eat! This guarantees an unfinished plate, a physical workout from picking up pieces of chicken fingers, and utter exhaustion.

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The Day That Shall Live in Infamy

Last weekend, we were in Toys R Us picking out a present for my friend's daughter's birthday. I sighed loudly that Jovie still didn't have a doll. She had stuffed toys, but not a doll. Not the ultimate in declaring your child a true female. For some reason, it bothered me that she didn't have a doll to coo over. So we went about finding her her first doll.

Now, why did this throw me into a complete tailspin? Because there are no multi-racial dolls! The dolls are White, Black, Hispanic, or Asian. The hispanic doll came the closest, but that wasn't a true representation of who she was. If we got her the white doll, would she identify herself as white first? If we got her the black doll, would she identify herself as black first? Would she shun one of her races? Would she think she wasn't pretty enough because there are no dolls made in her color?

All of this went through my head as I had an anxiety attack in the aisles, running back and forth between the dolls. Jovie happily tried to pull toys off the shelf and Ryan kept talking about getting her a Cabbage Patch Doll. See, we both had Cabbage Patch Dolls growing up, so this was the perfect solution. Until it WASN'T the perfect solution; there were races of those little bastards too!

We ended up settling on the Black Cabbage Patch that came with 2 dolls; one little sister and one big sister. The little one has a little tuft of nappy curly hair on it's head and the bigger one has curly black hair. We were so proud of our purchase and when Ryan spent 30 minutes trying to wrangle them from the packaging, with Jovie wide-eyed in excitement, we were sure she'd be proud of her parents. She grabbed the dolls and flung them before toddling off to the next activity.

So yes....her attention span is still short, but she does play with them. Once she even coo'ed at the baby. I still worry about how she'll identify herself in the future or if she'll get teased in school. I worry about all those identity crises I read about for multi-racial kids and how that can affect them. All I can do is treat her like the beautiful little girl she is and keep reinforcing that. And try to keep her from biting the nose off her Cabbage Patch.

Life Lesson #18

When changing morning diapers in less than suitable light, please ensure that you have nothing dangling off your arm or that you have an article of clothing on that you like. You may accidentally swipe said article or charm into poop without knowing it and go into work not knowing why you still smell baby diaper.