Showing posts with label Letters to the Public. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Letters to the Public. Show all posts

16 October 2009

To Whom It May Concern

10/15/2009

To: Ms. Mother Nature
From: Lexi Losch

Re: Today's Weather

Dear Ms. Nature,

I am writing in a complaint about today's weather. At 6:45am, I was instructed to look out of my bathroom window. I was told that the precipitation falling out of the sky was white and of the flaky substance, also known as "snow." I was under the impression that it was still only October, and that we were just getting used to the drop in temperature and watching the leaves change beautiful colors of orange and red. I was not prepared for snow. In October (just like I wasn't prepared to see a tape of a mom freak out on GMA this morning when her baby in the stroller rolled right off a train platform, onto the tracks, and the train ran over the stroller with said infant in it; the baby was ok though, if you were wondering...considering this is neither here NOR there and not your department).

I just wanted to ensure that there were no computer malfunctions this morning. I was thinking maybe your servers went down and it caused a glitch in your nature system. Maybe the timestamp on your system is incorrect, and it says December or January. I was hoping that this was just a tiny error and that you and your staff will be working diligently to correct this problem.

Please let me know if you need any other information supporting this complaint. I hope to see this resolved within the next 24 hours.

Thank you for your time,
Lexi Losch

29 April 2009

Sharing is Caring...

...or not getting pummeled by 5,840 pounds of steel, plastic, and glass. In other words:



I've tried to be patient. I've tried to just suck it up. But I can't anymore. If you ride a bicycle in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, SHARE THE F*&!ING ROAD!!!!!!! There's even a flashing sign now on my way to work to remind us all to share the road. But I've found that bicyclists love to create their own rules. That they can be a car when they want and a pedestrian when they want. For example, not following traffic lights and weaving in and out of cars causing people to slam on their brakes. You, awful cyclist, obviously can't go the speed limit, so move over to the side of the road as close to the curb as you can. I don't WANT to hit you, but so help me, next time you don't move over and follow the rules, you can expect a headlight hanging from your helmet.

23 April 2009

Leave it At Your Desk

Dear Employees (of any company, school, etc):

It is inappropriate to bring your coffee mug (or any other food item on that note) into the restroom.
Do you not realize the action that goes on in the restrooms? Do you not realize that all of that is seeping into your coffee????? Do you really plan on bringing that half sandwich back to your desk and eating it now, along with that coffee??

Please rearrange your stops so the coffee/lunch/conversation that could have waited ends up on your desk before visiting the lavatories to take care of whatever your business may be.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
The Employee who Leaves Things at Her Desk

15 April 2009

"Reality"

Dear NBC, ABC, Fox, MTV, and VH1,

Please stop making reality series (except for SuperNanny. Please keep SuperNanny). It's like watching a train wreck. You don't really want to watch what's about to happen, but you just can't help it!
Remember THIS train wreck???
And THIS one??

Ok well those 2 have a common thread, but still! Srsly. I believe that sitcoms still have potential, power, and an active audience. I just started watching "Better Off Ted" on ABC, and you did well ABC. I like it alot. But Fox.....you plan on making a reality show based on people getting laid off?? See that line back there? Yea, way back there. Keep looking. Keep going. Yea, right there? See it? YOU CROSSED IT A LONG TIME AGO.

Please take my plea into consideration. My generation and future generations should no longer be subjected to such hideous displays of "employment." Because it's not really reality. Maybe for some smaller sub sections, but no one benefits from it. Even on Extreme Makeover, these beautiful houses are built to help families in need, but did anyone stop to think about the taxes on these things after ABC wheels away the bus and the volunteer workers???? Thanks for your "donations" Sears and JC Penney, but someone ends up paying for it.

I look forward to discussing with you how we can change the future of television. You can contact me anytime.

Sincerely,
Concerned Viewer