Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mamas of the World,

You rock. You bring kids into the world (even though I think they are snot-nosed little brats) and you even raise when when they are 30 years old and shit. Some of you make awesome lunches and some of you should have stopped sending their daughters to school with warm tuna (ahem...MOM....coughcough). Some of you sacrificed everything to give your kids everything. Some of you raised us by yourselves. No matter what the circumstances, mothers of this beautiful planet, you are loved. Even when we fuck up and do some REALLY stupid shit, we love the hell out of you.

So Happy Mother's Day. You're awesome.

Love,
LaLosch

Maybe Fly List

Okay, I'm sorry, but I HAVE to rant about this. So I'm sure you've all heard about the guy who left the car bomb in the middle of Times Square which started Saturday. He also drove a different car to Times Square before that as his getaway car, but left his keys in the bomb car (wow, dummy). Anyway, on Monday, he boarded a flight to Dubai and was arrested there.

Here is my number one issue with this story.
He was on the NO FLY LIST.

If homeboy was on the no fly list, HOW THE FUCK DID HE BOARD A PLANE?!?! How did he even get that far? And hi, did anyone think it was strange that he paid for his ticket in cash? Yes, well finally, someone thought that was odd and contacted airport security about it, but he was still on the plane. He paid for his ticket in cash, even when his name was on the no fly list at that point in time.

Please everyone. I really need you to get it together. That is NOT excusable. That is NOT ok. That is NOT the goodies. I am a tax paying American, I do my due diligence, I do what I can to help others. Why can't I pay you to make me feel safe? Wait, I WAS doing that but you were just failing at your job for the time being.

Major fail. Rant over.

Is It A Video Game Or...?????

ManLosch and I went to the movies on Sunday. We love the previews. So a preview comes on and I say, "Hmm this looks more like the commercials for the Marines or Navy, etc." As we continue to watch it...oh...oh wait, NO. It's actually a commercial for a video game. We both mentioned how so many commercials these days that are for video games look like it's a recruitment video for the military. It's slightly disturbing.

Actually it's ALOT disturbing. I'm disturbed that we've deemed it acceptable to show games and things we can control like a military commercial. If only we could send soldiers in virtually and fight war virtually, things would be ALOT easier on this country. I'm just not able to accept the fact that video game commercials and military commercials are too similar.

Rant over, I'm gonna stop now. :)

Don't Drink The Water

What a gorgeous day today was! I wore a nice skirt and tank top out, flip flops, etc. Then I get to come home to find out that the governor declared a state of emergency in Massachusetts. We can't drink any water unless it's boiled or bottled. There was some big ass leak somewhere and it's affecting 2 million people east of the city of Weston.

We went to the store just to buy a few bottles, as naturally, we're hurricane survivors, we have no problem boiling water and OMG it was INSANITY. We also did our weekly food shopping but people were so confused about why there wasn't any water. Uh, HELLO? State of emergency usually means people freak out. So when you go to the store a few hours after it's been announced, don't expect to find what you're looking for and then curse the store manager out when you can't get any bottled water. Please crawl back into your hole and don't come back out. Thanks.

Well, this is just a good excuse to start drinking milk now, isn't it?

Why I Call Out Sick

Reasons why I call out sick (and for the record, that was only the SECOND time I've called out sick since working at my company):

• Seeing women named "Cheetara" on Maury. Thundercats much?
• Not having to drive in to work. Yes it's only 2 miles, but the bad drivers are littered along the drive. Very abundant. They drive me insane.
• Watching a woman dry hump Drew Carey on The Price is Right.
• Falling asleep and waking up and it's still daylight.
• Pretending to be interested in soap operas and turn after about 5 minutes of it.
• Tons of soup. Good soup. Yummy soup.
• Watching your dog sleep all day and realize that that's all he does when you aren't there too.
• Crappy magazines that you haven't read because you haven't felt like it.
• Still falling asleep and realizing that it's still only 4pm.

You have to find the great things about the sucky things (like being sick). And a day to take care of yourself is a day that usually can never go wrong.

C'mon Fox

Dear Fox Network,

Why are you being ridic lazy right now and not showing any new episodes of the Simpsons or Family Guy?

Oh wait. I thought it was 8pm and it was only 7:30, so I've been watching a re-run. Oops. Well this doesn't excuse Family Guy. This is ridic. What else am I supposed to watch on Sundays?

On a different note, this also applies to Comedy Central moving "Important Things With Demetri Martin." It was moved to like 12:30am instead of 10pm. Please pass my note of "this is just ridic" along to Comedy Central too.

Thanks cutie,
LaLosch

Is It Possible...

...to be THIS tired???
That's where I've been mostly the last month. I haven't been blogging like I normally do. I've been working alot though. And when I get home, I like to do a whole lot of nothing. Which right now includes not blogging and I feel absolutely WRETCHED about it. I miss you all. Hopefully in the next week I will dedicate myself more to writing. Until then, just know that I miss you and love you.

Smooches,
LaLosch

Pay It Forward

I'm a fan of "pay it forward."  I meant to share this a few nights ago, but oh well, I was too lazy to do it, so suck on THAT.

ManLosch and I went to a book reading/signing again on Saturday night. It was for the author Christopher McSuchandSuch who wrote "Born to Run." Now if you've read this far, you already know that LaLosch is and was NOT born to run and never will be. I can barely walk. So you already know that it was ManLosch's book about the white man running with tribes barefoot (EXACTLY). Okay, the book was a little more than that, but either way, the author was at the Harvard Bookstore so we went (let me also just say that this event was slightly hippie and when I say slightly hippie, I mean there were people who actually wore these to the events):

 

Anyway, by the time we got there, there weren't any seats left but right before it started, this woman walks up to me and says "My husband isn't here yet and I noticed you and your husband were here for awhile, would you like to sit next to me?" So of course I sat and right when I sat, her husband walks in. But she totally let me keep the seat. The reading wasn't half bad either; I nodded off a few times but otherwise stayed awake. When it came time for the book signing, we all got in line and the girl in front of us needed a piece of paper to get some information about some research foot doctor type of person and the author was going to write it in her book, but I ripped a sheet of paper out of my Moleskine (makes me white, I know), and said "Don't write in the book! Here, please take this sheet of paper." He looked at me and said "Wow, I'm so particular about ripping pages out of notebooks like that....that's awesome." Another girl noticed and helped a guy with his camera when he was trying to take a picture but realized the memory card was full. So she helped him figure it out.

I love small acts of kindness towards others. I know I can come across as harsh or one who rants and speaks my mind, but I'm a nice person. I'm a loving person. And one of the things I love the most are tiny acts of kindness towards others. So this week, when you go out, take the extra second and hold the door for someone. Let someone turn onto the major street they've been trying to for a few minutes. Give someone a hug just because (be careful at work..HR and shit). Just have fun and be nice. Let me know how it goes. ;-)

KEmoneysignHA

Unfortunately, I watched SNL last night with the ManLosch. Ryan Phillipe left alot to be desired and oh wait, let's not forget our guest performer, Ke$ha. I think the only thing I did while watching those dreadful performances was stare with my mouth open and maybe laugh at some point.

During the second performance, I turned to ManLosch and said, "Okay, imagine that an 80 year old indigenous tribe member somehow strayed from the group and wandered into the city, tripped on some acid, walked into Michael's for some glow-in-the-dark paint, and then proceeded to find a rave. Got that? Yea. Now take a look at SNL again."

Awful.