Vending Machine Conspiracy Theory

Here's an oldie, but a decent goodie (maybe)

It's out there...........
You may not have been a victim yet..........
But you will soon. No one gets away from.....
THE VENDING MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!
I have a vending machine conspiracy theory. Mostly on UM's campus. But please, let me know if the same has happened to you. Then I REALLY know it's everywhere. So last week, I went to the vending machine and had a craving for Salt and Vinegar chips. I put my dollar in (a freakin dollar for a bag of chips? I miss the Vern, and the 25cent bag of chips) and then noticed that the corner of the bag was slightly tucked behind the item next to it. My gut told me "No Lex, it's gonna get stuck, and you only weigh 100 pounds, you can't fight this thing" but my stomach said "Do it, do it do it." So I chose the chips. And guess what. They got stuck. I screamed bloody murder in the Memorial Building and kicked the thing. I wanted them so bad, I put in another dollar, but, I did get both bags of chips.

Here's the thing. This has happened to me EVERY time I have gone to a vending machine here. I tried to get M&M's once, and they got stuck, then ended up with 2 bags after my second attempt. The worst was in the Ashe building, where I tried to get chips not once, not twice, not 3 times, BUT FOUR TIMES. I ended up spending $3 on a bag of stale popcorn.
This is my vending machine conspiracy theory. When loading the machine, the attendant slyly tucks the corner of all chips behind the adjacent product. And we all know that when we watch our product slowly spiraling out of the row, we are secretly chanting for the bag to make it down, to make it safely to the "Push" door. But I've noticed, that these things move ever so slowly now, and don't give enough force to push the damn things out. Hence, you end up watching your bag of chips dangling from the row, tucked behind the bag of $2 gummi worms. You kick the machine, you holler, you even try to stick your hand up there if no one is fortunate enough to walk by and see you. And then, you put in more money, usually just to get that one item to untuck itself and satisfy your craving. The vending machine people are trying to make money off of us, because usually, when you go to a vending machine, you are craving something. You need a snack to make it through the work day. So if the product doesn't come out, more times than not, you will put more money in, until you get something. So even though I got that second bag of chips, I spent another dollar just to get them, when I could have saved that dollar.

It's out there people. Don't let this happen to you. I'm a spiral, tuck, and Cheeto away from boycotting vending machines.