Things Running Through My Mind

Here are just a few things that were possibly running through my mind when this photo was taken:
1) You got GOT homie! I just took all your money!
2) Did YOU dress me in a bleached 80's EPCOT shirt?? Because if so, this is truly atrocious.
3) Keep laughing at my knock knees. You just keeeeep laughing.
4) I think my cheeks are as big as your stomach.
5) Wait, why is my hairline uneven? Hey, well...I guess it's kinda funny.
6) I just jumped on Mommy's stomach to ensure that I was going to be the last! Ha HA!
7) Hello mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper, and it's not a toaster.

Cryin'

Dear Mr. Tyler,

My name is Lexi Losch and you have devastated my husband, otherwise known as ManLosch. You are apparently leaving Aerosmith, his most favoritist band ever known to mankind ever in the world ever. He sent me a message at work to let me know and I had to sit shiva for him. How could you do this? You had my man cryin'(get it? i used you your song for the joke.....yea....you got it......yeaaaaa).

In an effort to ease the pain, he listened to your CD's while working from home. Are you really leaving? Because I think this might be a publicity stunt. What? Oh, you're kinda for real leaving? Oh. Well I...oh. Okay, well ManLosch is crying again. Why'd you have to go and break your leg on tour and then make a big deal about Brand Tyler?! I thought you gave up drugs and some drinking. No? Well do you really have to quit? ManLosch is pretty broken up about this; we even went to an Aerosmith concert on our wedding anniversary so you really can't leave the group. So you're pulling a Journey? Or a Guns n Roses? Just because Joe Perry left once doesn't mean you have to do the same thing (and you should really think about returning his phone calls, that's not right). And ManLosch just said that Brad Whitford left too, but who the hell knows who he is anyway?

So think about it Stevie buddy. You know you don't want to quit. So keep your scarf wrapped microphones and harmonica solos. ManLosch will be broken and go Crazy (ha! get it?) if you leave. You know you don't wanna miss a thing (ahh I'm so good). Just go back to the studio.

Dream On forever,
LaLosch

Verdict??

I'm proud to be an American (where at least I know I'm free...yea yea), but I just got home from Niagara Falls. I was there with ManLosch for the weekend and as you know, there is a Niagara Falls, NY and Niagara Falls, ON. We frequented both the American and Canadian sides.

I'm sorry America....but Canada has you beat. Like seriously. I think we spent more than half our time in Canada. When you look at the U.S.A. from Canada, you think "Hmm, well it looks like everyone is slummin' it eh." When you look at Canada from the U.S.A., you think "Holy crap, let's go there to gamble, and eat dinner, and not be bored." As we were coming back into the States Saturday night, there was a LINE at customs to get INTO Canada that went as far back as our hotel. People were ready to party in Canada and NO ONE was ready to party in the U.S.A. C'mon America, that should tell you something. Put some Christmas lights up or hang up a wooden welcome sign.

Either way, we had an awesome time. I'll discuss later and post some pics when I'm not so damn tired from the 7 hour drive. 'Night kids.

Squeaky Shoes and the 6 Finger Baby

ManLosch and I spent most of the day in Toronto today. We went to visit Chris and Jarrett there and spent the day walking around. We did the one big tourist-y thing there and went to the CN tower, which I affectionately call "The Big Needle Building." So we head up and while we're waiting in line to go to the very top (can't remember what it's called), there's this family behind us of like a million. They had this stroller made for 3 kids. I already knew the wait in line based on that alone would be shitty.

So the dad walks by with one of the kids. And something is squeaking. I assume at first it's just a toy. No. It was not. The kid had on squeaking shoes. So everytime the thing-kid took a step, it squeaked, like a dog toy (ManLosch and I discussed that we could never dress our kids in those because LoschDog would think the kid was a squeaker toy and go after him/her). I was ready to rip the shoes off and throw them from the top of the tower. Until I then noticed the kid's sister or brother (I don't know, alot of babies look the same to me) sleeping in the front seat of the tri-seater. I looked and noticed that the hands moved a little and I looked at the small hands. And I said to myself "Hmm, wait a minute, something doesn't look anatomically correct." So I start counting, because I'm weird and I count people's fingers sometimes. And I said "One, two, three, four, five......SIX?!??! Wait, Six???" Yea, this baby had 6 fingers. Holy crap. I tried to contain it, but I told ManLosch and then I told Chris. Of course Chris started laughing and I was trying to hold it in the best I could. It wasn't like "HAHAHA, your 6 fingered baby is a freak." It was that weird, uncomfortable laughter because you don't know how else to react to a 6 fingered baby.

Either way, once we got to the top, we discovered that the 3rd kid had the squeaking shoes too. And the kids names were "Diego" and "Cortez."

Yea. You read right.

Oh Canada.

Isn't She Lovvveelllly

It's a Natural Wonder of the World people. Behold Mother Nature's majestic beauty, even when it's 40 degrees out. And I had to borrow Ryan's hat. And I was wearing a poncho so I wouldn't get wet and thus suffer a horrible Niagara version of hypothermia. But other than that, it's pretty right?? :-)
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

LaMontagne and Niagara

Last night, I went to a concert with a friend, DiDi (thanks for the ticket DiDi!). We saw Ray LaMontagne at the Wang Theatre in Boston and it was nothing short of amazing. It felt like you were in a living room, wrapped up in blankets, sipping some wine (or your alcoholic beverage of choice), and just relaxing away your evening. It was great. What WASN'T great was the opening act. It got so bad that DiDi got up and left to wait in the lobby because she couldn't take it. In between songs, he said "So are you guys ready for Ray LaMontagne??" And everyone started screaming. So we all thought that he was done. But then he started another song and a loud young woman yells out "No, we want him NOW, WE WANT HIM NOOWWWWWWWW!!!" That, I'm fairly sure, was heard by the entire audience and quite possibly the crappy opening act.

Anyway, I'm on vacation. ManLosch and I drove to Niagara Falls. We finally got here about 30 minutes ago and we can see the mist of the falls from our hotel window, it's pretty. And free wireless allows me to update you lovelies on my trip. So right now, we're trying to figure out what the hell is going on and what you have to pay for and then we're going to walk out to see the falls lit up at night, get dinner, and probably crash because it was a long drive. But I will be seeing Christopher Jones in Toronto in 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Score. Okay, I'm hungry. Catch me on Twitter or something. I'll holler homies.

I Look Like.....Leona Lewis??

Hey kids, I have a story. So I went to Panera for lunch today. Panera is in the same complex of my workplace. I go to open the door and a man opens the door for me (he's walking out). He's this short little Asian man. He says "Wow, are you a princess?" I stop and I'm like "What? Huh?" Parts of the rest of this story will be in conversation format to save space...
Him: Are you a princess? You look like one.
Me: Uh, no I'm not. But I damn sure wish I was one.
Him: Well you definitely look like one. No wait, you look like that girl from American Idol. You know...um, she was on American Idol, I think last season
(I now have a perplexed look on my face because I have NO idea who he is talking about, considering I don't really watch AI anymore)

Him: You know, the Britain girl, that one.
Me: (now realizing who he is probably referring to) You mean Leona Lewis?
Him: YES! YES! You look just like her. Very beautiful. Are you a professional singer?
Me: No.
Him: You sure? You look like one. You sing around here?
I again answer no, in hopes that I can go and get my lunch sooner rather than later. So I tell him I played the flute in college, maybe thinking that my band nerd status will push him away. It doesn't.

Him: Oh! So you are a professional flute player?? You look like one.
I want to smack him at this point. Because how the f*$k do I look like EVERYHING? So I finally get him off this topic and he says...

Him: Well do you work around here? This is the first time I've seen you.
(Ok McStalker)
Me: Yea, I work across the street.
Him: Oh wow! Me too! Where?
Me: Across the street.
Him: Cool, cool. Yea, what's your name?
I was stupid and wasn't fast enough on my feet so I said..
Me: Lexi
Him: That's pretty. My name is Mohammed Ali.
Um....what? Then he finally just laughed nervously and said his name was Ali.

Him: So, uh, do you like Japanese food? I go to this awesome place in Coolidge Corner.
Me: I like sushi, yea.
Him: Would you like to go with me to eat sushi sometime soon??
Me: No thanks, I'm going to have to pass.
Him: Well, we could just go eat something else. I mean, I'll eat anything, it doesn't have to be sushi.
Me: No, I mean, I don't think my husband would appreciate me going out to have sushi with a man he's never met. Especially on a date.
Him: Oh! I didn't see the rings. Sorry, I was so focused on your beautiful eyes. (WHHHHAAAAAAT???? Sha-huh??)

He then proceeded to tell me that maybe he could meet my husband so he could bring his friends and I could bring my husband for sushi. This makes NO kind of sense. NONE. Are you flippin kidding me?! Either way, this conversation ended because I kept inching towards the registers, trying to send a signal that I was starving, but that apparently didnt work. Anyway, I just thought this entire exchange was hilarious. I had a good time. I hope you did too. And watch out for little dudes opening doors for you....they might think you're a professional Leona Lewis flute player.

Stuff Lexi Likes #4

I hope you're keeping up with my blog so you know that we're on a journey together to find out how white I am.

#90 Dinner Parties
Well I like food. And I like parties. So why WOULDN'T I like dinner parties? Especially when there is wine and lots of laughter. And I know I'm not the only one. So who wants to invite me to one?

#101 Scarves
I don't own THAT many but I like scarves. It's a nice addition to an outfit and they are so cute when dressed with a white shirt. Okay, let me stop because I think the scarves one alone is proving how white I am.

#108 High School English Teachers
I had some of the BEST English teachers in high school. Especially Mr. Lanzetta. 11th grade. 11th grade was when I re-discovered my love for reading and discovered that I was a decent writer. Or Mr. and Mrs. Trotta (yea, I had a husband and wife, 10th grade and 12th grade AP English). The only thing I was good in while in high school was English. So shut your face.

#121 Reusable Shopping Bags
I like saving the Earth. We only have one! And why wouldn't you want to try to make this planet better for yourself? Get out of my face.

I'll keep it short this time kids. The next installment may be the last one and we'll tally up the goods.

Blue Ford Focus, How Art Thou?

Dear Tricia,

It was nice to finally meet you this morning. I thought to myself "She's going to think I'm a psycho, coming up to her car to ask her a question, maybe I shouldn't do this." But something told me that I should. So I did. And you were nice. I asked you if you went to UM and you said yes so I told you that I did too. A smile that is recognizable among fellow 'Canes told me that you were happy to meet another UM Alum who got caught in the arctic Northeastern air (arctic compared to living in Miami right?). We talked for a few minutes, about graduation dates and about living in Miami past graduation. Then you asked me about football games and we talked about that. I introduced myself and you thought my name was Leslie. That's ok. I corrected you. As I do everyone who thinks my name is Leslie.

So Tricia, it was nice to meet you and your Blue Ford Focus decked out in Miami stickers and the license plate holder. We work in the same building for different companies, but maybe...just maybe we'll talk again.

Hope your Monday was better than mine.

Sincerely,
Leslie (but I prefer Lexi)