Dear Mr. Tyler,
My name is Lexi Losch and you have devastated my husband, otherwise known as ManLosch. You are apparently leaving Aerosmith, his most favoritist band ever known to mankind ever in the world ever. He sent me a message at work to let me know and I had to sit shiva for him. How could you do this? You had my man cryin'(get it? i used you your song for the joke.....yea....you got it......yeaaaaa).
In an effort to ease the pain, he listened to your CD's while working from home. Are you really leaving? Because I think this might be a publicity stunt. What? Oh, you're kinda for real leaving? Oh. Well I...oh. Okay, well ManLosch is crying again. Why'd you have to go and break your leg on tour and then make a big deal about Brand Tyler?! I thought you gave up drugs and some drinking. No? Well do you really have to quit? ManLosch is pretty broken up about this; we even went to an Aerosmith concert on our wedding anniversary so you really can't leave the group. So you're pulling a Journey? Or a Guns n Roses? Just because Joe Perry left once doesn't mean you have to do the same thing (and you should really think about returning his phone calls, that's not right). And ManLosch just said that Brad Whitford left too, but who the hell knows who he is anyway?
So think about it Stevie buddy. You know you don't want to quit. So keep your scarf wrapped microphones and harmonica solos. ManLosch will be broken and go Crazy (ha! get it?) if you leave. You know you don't wanna miss a thing (ahh I'm so good). Just go back to the studio.
Dream On forever,
LaLosch
Arnel Pineda...never heard of him? That's because he's just the most recent in the line of attempts to replace Steve Perry in Journey. Guns N' Roses/Velvet Revolver...which one is which? Velvet Revolver is all former GNR members, but Axl Rose is Guns N' Roses. It makes no sense. Breakups of rock bands never work out for the better. Well, Justin Timberlake is better off without NSync, but I said rock bands, not douchey boy bands :)
ReplyDeleteI would just like to personally thank you for your letter. I got a call from Steven Tyler last night and he said he read your letter and decided not to leave Aerosmith because of it. Well done ;-)
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ReplyDeleteSteven Tyler heard ManLosch cries and decided to "Walk This Way" because it would be "Crazy" to leave Perry, Kramer,and Whitfield!! So they will have "Love in an Elevator" once again to play on and all us fans will "Dream on" until our dreams come true!
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