Tales from Diamond Nails

Since bending over is becoming a little more difficult now (that's what she said), I opted to go and get a pedicure today rather than try to paint my toes myself and be completely out of breath by the time I was applying a base coat. There is a nail salon right across the street from my apartment, so that's where I went.

I walked in and they took me right away (good sign). But then 2 of the women who worked there looked at me and laughed a little. I shot them a look and struggled to get in the chair but got up just fine. Just paranoid. The women proceeded to do all the pedi actions and while cleaning up my cuticles, SHE KNICKED ME. I yelped a little and looked down and there was blood. I shot her a look like, "BITCH WTF JUST HAPPENED?!" and she giggled like she was Sailor Moon and said "Oh, I sorry! OMG I SORRY!" Sorry doesn't cut it whore. But apparently you do. Giving me a pedicure without cutting me would have been great.

She gets to the part where she massages my feet, which did feel nice. But then she pulled out some Mr. Miyagi moves on the bottoms of my feet and thought she was fuckin' Muhammad Ali using my legs as punching bags. I again shot her a look and decided that every time she domestically abused me, a little bit of her tip went back into my wallet.

When my toes were done, I decided too that I looked like I was growing a yeti above my eyes, so I got them shaped and waxed. As I got up to go to the room, the same 2 women who laughed before laughed again and this time, mentally deducted the tip instead of shooting the "don't go there" look. The woman who waxed my brows? She got wax IN MY HAIR and ripped a few strands out and didn't seem bothered by it. Not even when I was almost in tears and had my hand in the wax in my hair, trying to reduce the pain. Tip is now almost at $0.

Luckily, she finished quickly and my dog was done at the groomers, so I let my nails air dry. I paid the exact amount and for both those bitches, I left $5, which I felt was being generous after the shit parade they put me through. I'm not sure I'm going back there, but I think I'll be able to find another nail place with no problems, don't you think?