Why Do I Watch This SH*T?!

Please someone tell me why I'm watching "Inside Edition." I've never actually watched it, but decided since I was being lazy tonight, I'd just leave the tv on where it was when we turned it off this morning. And I just had to share these headlines and stories with you:

"Who is that celebrity walking the streets in a tiger mask? We'll tell you!!"

"Why are there zebras running loose in Sacramento? We'll tell you!"

"Why is this beautiful model walking with a bandage on her leg? Kelly Schwartz, winner of Frank The Entertainer's reality show (side note: ya'll VH1 has got to stop with these reality crap shows) had the worst experience ever shaving. She cut herself shaving and a fly landed on her leg and laid eggs in the wound. Over the course of a few days, she was wondering why she was in so much pain and the lump was getting bigger and more red. She went to the emergency room where the doctors couldn't believe what they saw!"

Ya'll....I am NOT making this shit up.

Shorty Got Low....

I spoke to my 7 year niece today on the phone. She also loves her some Uncle ManLosch. More than me I think. My sis-in-law just had another bambina, so check out the convo between us.

• Me: Hi Kayla, how are you?
• Kayla (my niece): Fine! Where's Uncle Ryan??
• Me: He's not home yet. How do you like being a big sister now? How many days have you been a big sister?
• Kayla: I like it. She's 7 days old now. She looks like my Mommy.
• Me: Wow. Look at you big sister. You look like your Mommy too. Did you get her any presents?
• Kayla: Nuh uh, I look like my Daddy! Yes, I got her..um..one of those..um, one piece things. And uh, something else.
• Me: Did you get any gifts too for being a big sister?
• Kayla: Yes! I got Applebottom jeans from my Daddy.
• Me: Did you get boots with the fur too??
• Kayla: Ummmm......huh???

Paint!

ManLosch is slowly understanding my gradual nesting behaviors and we will finally buy some paint this weekend for KidLosch's room!
Happy lady over here. :-)

Otherwise, I know I haven't been around much, my mom has been in town these last 2 weeks, helping out, cooking, etc. She leaves tomorrow, so life returns to normal for her and for us. She'll be back in October for the shower. I know Jordan will miss having the company. She brushed him daily and he loved waking her up by nosing open her door every morning to lick her.

Back to the norm...

LaLosch Faces Her Fears

I have alot of irrational fears. One of them being that my baby will be bald when it comes out (i DID say irrational......). But another one of them involves the public restrooms. So if you don't want to read about my restroom fears, stop reading now.

So as all you women know, whenever we need to use the ladies room, there is usually a line. So I was waiting to use a stall in the Natick mall yesterday and one opened up and the one right next to it opened up too, so my mom went in that one. The minute I stepped in, I was hit with waves (not just one), of other-stinky-person's-poop. Like this women must have just eaten at the food court upstairs and then exploded. So I could barely breathe and then it hit me: Wonder if the next person who comes in after me thinks it was ME?!?!?! Because I didn't do it, all I have to do is empty my pea sized bladder (thanks KidLosch). It smelled so bad that it wasn't even like the next person could ignore it...it was lingering even in the toilet paper.

So I came out and so did my mom and SHE said, "Man, the woman before me blew it UP!!" I said, "No that was the girl before me in my stall." And we literally argued back and forth about whose stall was worse. We came to the conclusion that they were also a mother-daughter duo who instead of tinkling, just ate Sarku Japan instead and duo dumped. But still, people might think it was me! I will reiterate that I KNOW this is irrational, but you can't tell me that you haven't thought the same thing.

I Have The Best Friends

So far, this has been the best reaction to the news:

Why I Love My Mom

I love my mom because she buys our kid things like this:

New Yorkers. What can I say? (not much since I technically am one)

I've missed her and I'm glad she's always gotten my sense of humor. :-)

Achoo

Getting sick.....SUCKS!
I hope it's just allergies or a quick passing. I can't afford to get a cold. I'm already emotional and tired. I don't need a runny nose too. I think part of it is stress, so I need to cut this shit out, seriously. I did rest already tonight and once I have dinner, it's probably back to bed for me. So much for writing....

Hail To The Spirit of...Lady Gaga??

In case you've really been in the dark here, I was in marching band in college. And I still follow the happenings of my band, whose name is "The Band of The Hour." Imagine my surprise when I find out today that 3/4 of the first half-time show will be a trio of Lady Gaga songs (Pokerface, Bad Romance, and Just Dance). 

Hmm....I mean, I'm not saying that our rendition of Justin Timberlake's "Rock Your Body" was that great, but uh.....well....yea. Either way, I'll still support it. I'll try at least. I just hope that my successors will make up some awesome alternative lyrics to some of these songs.

Infant Architecture

Benefits of having an architect husband?

He designs a crib and then places possible furniture in 2 different rooms in a design software (Sketch-Up) in our apartment to show me what it'll look like so we can decide which room to use as the baby's room. He measured the rooms and built the rooms in the software so there is no guessing how much space there will be.


Yeaaaa.....back off bitches. He's mine. ;-)