The Poo Files

I went with a friend to her doctor's appointment today at a hospital. So we're getting ready to leave, had  a good appointment, and I turn to her and say, "Melissa, I REALLY gotta pee. You know....yea. I just gotta go." So we're looking for the restroom and we see one. I place her things down in the waiting area and say, "Be right back!" I hustle off to the restroom and when I push the door open, I think to myself, Damn....did I just walk into the 70's? Anyway, still had to go and didn't have much of a choice but between 2 stalls.

One stall was what I called the "Midget Stall." It really was not made for someone 5 feet and over. I opted out of that one. So I stepped back to use the handicapped stall. I open the door, ready to bust a move; I take a step and right before I took another one, I look down and right on the floor, was a little turd. Yes, that's right. There was a piece of poo on the floor, not even close to the toilet. And it looked like it had been stepped on/rolled over/SOMETHING. So I freaked out. I'm screaming, "Why is there shit on the floor of a HOSPITAL?! OMG!!" Because I really had to go, I just sucked it up and squatted on the midget toilet like I never squatted before.

I rushed out, washed my hands, and ran out screaming to Melissa, mostly in fits of laughter and incredulity. She starts laughing and we just start wondering what possibly happened. When I got to work, I shared this story as well, and here are just a few possible scenarios that have been concocted so far:

1) The person really couldn't wait.
2) Know what a dog looks like when it has a small piece of remaining poo in it's fur that it can't get out?? And finally they are able to drop the deuce somewhere? Yea. Maybe??
3) Someone was changing a baby and while wrapping up the diaper, a piece of the poo fell out and rolled onto the floor.
4) Someone was actually in a wheelchair and had some trouble while on the toilet (which doesn't excuse why said turdlet was not even close to the toilet).
5) It was Mr. Hankey.

Please tell me you all can think of something more reasonable than this, because otherwise....why was there poo on the floor of a hospital (and not even in a private room mind you)? Hilarious...yet disturbing all rolled into one small turd.