Train In Vain

I had a half day at work today. I took the afternoon off and went downtown to get my hair done (look, my hairdresser was all booked up tomorrow doing some whore's weave). I took advantage of this opportunity to go to write at Grub Street, since they aren't open on the weekends. After I got my hair done, I went to Grub Street, did some internetting and some writing, and left about 15 minutes before they closed.

In order to get home, I have to take the train. I got on the train and all of a sudden I heard a boombox and some clapping. There were two black guys getting ready to do some train dancing, which is something I really only ever see when I'm home in NY. One says, "Welcome to the show, 'Dancing on a Moving Train.' Please, if you like what you see let us know. Dig deep, don't be cheap."

First of all, you need to come up with a better title for your "show." You really thought I'd watch you with "Dancing on a Moving Train??" Fuck you buddy.

Second, your sayings weren't that clever. "Dig deep, don't be cheap" and "If you liked the show, let a black man know" did not make me want to give you money. At all. It didn't sound smart, it sounded stupid.

Third, and last, YOU DIDN'T EVEN DANCE! You did a few shuffles in a circle, you moved your beanie hat around, and you then decided to do some FLIPS in the aisle of the train (and train aisles aren't that wide on the MBTA...in fact usually they aren't that wide in America). You shuffled for about 2 minutes TOTAL and hustled some people out of money?? Well, in all honesty, that makes you smart and everyone else stupid, but still. At least produce a quality show next time and I may decide to glance up from my corner priority seat and my book to let a black man know that I appreciate his efforts.