State of the House

This evening, the Losch's bring you the State of the House address. (applause)

Everything sucks. There is no sleep. There is no sanity.

That is all. (applause)

Yes...I Have Survived...

Jovie is one month old! January 14th was one month and wow....what a month. 

What have I learned about being a parent so far?

1. Newborn mittens don't do sh*t. Don't bother wasting your money parents-to-be! While they are only like $4 for a 2 or 3 pack, why bother? The aliens we know as our kids don't even like them and they somehow manage to get them off within 1-2 minutes. Invest in the onesies with the fold overs on the end that act as mittens. Jovie is no match for those.
2. Swaddling works....as long as said child does not get her hands and arms out of the swaddle. Jovie is a mastermind at getting out of the swaddle, so she startles herself awake.
3. Parenthood is nothing like it seems, even with everyone telling you what it will be like. 
4. Never have a real game plan. Babies like to f&^$ sh*t up. They will look at your beautifully crafted game plan and then take a massive mustardy yellow dump on it, all while smoking a cigar and sending their goons after you (okay I made that last part up but it sounded cool...like that boss baby from Who Framed Roger Rabbit).
5. Dogs will either be super pissed and mean or protective and sweet towards new babies. Our dog is the latter. :-)
6. Newborns apparently like to be held, so that sandwich you were gonna make? Nope. Put down the mayo Rachael Ray. That nap you wanted to take while they nap? Not possible with a Fourth Trimester baby because she wants to sleep in your arms.

Look, I'm not gonna lie. This is bad. We're tired and Jovie has reflux. Ryan was only ever used to me crying and he was able to soothe me. When Jovie gets going, there is no stopping her. Parenting sucks. Babies can't tell you what's wrong. Our job from now on is like learning how to be a trivia master, forget being a normal human being.......

And I don't think we'd change it back either. As long as Jovie puts us in the best nursing home with buffet lunches and dinners, that's all we need. :)

Tucson On My Mind

I think it's just terrible what happened in Tucson. Insane and terrible; the closer terror gets to your home, the worse you feel.

So while sitting in Mass this past Sunday, I started thinking. We brought Jovie to Mass for the first time and she was very quiet. Going to Mass is routine, you know? And people find comfort in routine. Father Al told a joke, everyone laughed. It was peaceful. Then I thought, "What if someone just busted through the doors and started shooting?" I mean, it could really happen anywhere, as displayed in Tucson. Just innocent people gathered together for a common cause and exercising their right to support that cause. What would I do, with my newborn daughter and husband, if that happened? Would I freeze in terror? Would I desperately try to save them both? Would I run, would I have hid in the pews? What DO you do?

Everything happens in such an instant and you never know when your life is about to change. Sorry to be all sappy, but you know....what else do I do at church anyway?? :-)

Pony Up

ManLosch was not down with buying me that Costco pony we saw about a month and a half ago. Maybe he will buy me this.....

I mean, if he won't get THIS...I might be heartbroken. Seriously. This one is way better.

All The Crazy

With all the crazy that has been happening, I haven't had any ME time.
(Other parents reading this blog, please do not say the following:
"I told you so!"
"Duh."
"Isn't it insane? You'll never have 'me' time again.")

I already knew this going into the pregnancy. I knew my life would change forever once Peanut came into the world. So the fact that I haven't had much time to indulge my own interests besides watching reruns of "The Office" while feeding a kid and cleaning spit up doesn't surprise me. That doesn't mean it's not driving me crazy though.

Anywho, I miss you all, commentators of my blog. I haven't even commented on 2010 yet or come up with my 2011 resolutions. This will be coming soon, hopefully this week. Mom-In-Law is here helping us which has given us some free time and with Jovie's tummy troubles hopefully settling down SOME, we have 20 minutes here and there to be human.

Smooches amigos.

Birthday Reflections

This year's birthday was just a little different than last year's. ManLosch took us out for dinner last night. This was Jovie's first real time being out and of course I was nervous (yes everyone says not to take your kid out much this early, but our pediatrician said 'what do you think second time moms do??'). We stayed local and went to a restaurant where the family who owns it knows us because we frequent their diner most Sundays after Mass.

The restaurant was crowded but the music was great and Jovie slept the ENTIRE time. The first song I heard was our first dance song so we silently jammed to it. Then we ordered and talked about how different this year was from last year. Last year I was able to fit into all of my clothes and alot of my work friends came over to party. My best friend Marcus and I got drunk and made that lovely "To Be Real" video that I posted. As we were talking about that, "To Be Real" started playing in the restaurant and I kept looking at Jovie to make sure she wasn't fussy. ManLosch kept saying, "She's fine, I promise." Instead of double fisting drinks, I had a small glass of Prosecco in one hand and a pacifier in the other. Last year, Marcus surprised me by coming up from New York and ManLosch helped organize it. This year, ManLosch organized a surprise party for me at the house and everyone brought food and helped with Jovie. I got a $25 Fandango gift card from a co-worker who also said that babysitting services come with the deal so ManLosch and I can get out. Last year, I got tons of liquor, an XS t-shirt from "Glee" and a Flip videocamera. The videocamera is now pretty much the Jovie cam. Last year, I had a nice outfit on and got to go to work and be with friends. This year, I was home in pajamas where Jovie projectile vomitted all over me, the living room chair, herself, and the dog and then peed on me later.

It was funny to look back on just how different last year was to this year. We had a good time talking about it and laughing about the differences. Even though this birthday was dramatically different, I had a WONDERFUL birthday and I definitely felt loved. :-)

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone had a wonderful day with family or friends. It certainly doesn't feel like Christmas but it's not so bad. I think I'm finally getting used to being a real mom now. Jovie is a fussy little girl but then again, she's just like her mom. More to come, but enjoy the holiday!

Where Ya Been?

I've been mothering a child the last 5-6 days! That's right. Preggo fatty no more. I gave birth to a 7lb 2oz little bundle of tantrum named Jovie Sophia Losch. So about 98% of you all were wrong; I totally had a girl. It was kinda funny actually to hear everyone's reactions to the fact that we had a girl.

More updates and deets to come later. For now, I'm just slowly starting to catch up on everything, including my sanity. :-)

Listless Losch

I stayed home from work on Thursday and Friday because well....I about had an emotional breakdown in my doctor's office on Thursday. Everything was fine, checked out ok, but for some reason, as the nurse was taking my vitals and she asked me how I was doing, I just burst into tears. She told me to lay down before the doctor came in and ManLosch rubbed my back while I sobbed. The doctor came in and rubbed my back too, reassured me that it was ok. She recommended working half days until my maternity leave if necessary, but that definitely, I should go home that day. Of course it didn't help when she did the exam and told me it didn't look like I was going to go early. Cue more tears.

My boss has been AWESOME and told me to not even worry about work and to stay home Friday too. Here's what I realized: BEING HOME WAITING FOR YOUR UNBORN CHILD TO DECIDE TO MAKE ITS APPEARANCE SUCKS. I did sleep alot, which was good. But I cried alot too. LoschDog has been great and nuzzling and cuddling with me for the last 4 days. 2 of my co-workers, Ann and Ryan, stopped by with lunch on Friday so I wouldn't talk to the wall anymore. ManLosch has been great when he's home and has taken care of me. He even took me shopping Friday night to buy 2 more shirts to cover my ever-growing belly for these last few weeks and then went to Olive Garden.

I've had no energy and no real desire to do anything but take my ass to the hospital and start pushing. I have dreams every night about labor which also doesn't help the fact that I don't get alot of sleep. But I think I'm safe to finally head back in for these last few days. I like the social interaction of being at work and I feel useful there. Hopefully, I don't go TOO late, but I know, I know. I have no say in that. :)

All I Want For Christmas.....

(besides the birth of my baby?)......is this....

Yes....I want the Obama Chia.

Throwback to the 90's

Our newer car (don't know that I'd call it a new car anymore, but it's almost 3 months old) has satellite radio in it. Just like the regular radio, sometimes there's never anything on that you want to listen to. Driving home tonight, I was tuned into the 90's station. Some of the songs brought back very vivid memories of my teenage somewhat angsty years. Here's what I experienced on the 15 minute car ride home:

"You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrissette: I remember being in middle school. I just bought Alanis Morissette's album on a cassette tape as I was not rich enough to purchase anything that looked like a CD at the time. So I had a hand-me-down Walkman that I loved. My mom and I were living with my aunt and my cousin in their apartment for the time being, so I remember falling asleep on my makeshift bed listening to this thinking "Wow, are women really this angry? And why would she ask a man if he was thinking of her while he screwed another woman? She sounds pissed." I would rewind, stop, hit play....nope, not at the beginning yet. Rewind...stop....hit play. I did this so many times that I went through batteries like it was nobody's business.

Fast forward through time and HOLY SHIT Alanis. You were right. Women really ARE this angry at men sometimes. And it's ok. It's funny how things don't make sense when you're too young to understand what it all really means.

"You Make Me Wanna" by Usher: I was in high school. The year before this song came out, I helped one girl get together with a guy she really liked. The guy I really liked ALOT became taken, but that's another heartbreak story. Fastfoward a year and the guy and girl are having problems. I try to remain neutral. We end up walking home together because we lived in the same area and I needed someone to walk home with. Little did I know, he started to like me, but at the same time, he was breaking up with his girlfriend.....for me (how do we have so much fuckin drama in high school, jeeeeeeez). A few weeks later, we slowly started dating and I was in love. Until the next year when he broke up with me stating the reason, "I'm just not in love with you anymore." He also broke up with me over AOL Chat (remember AOL chat??) instead of being a man about it. It's ok though. He actually turned out to be gay later on down the road (how MUCH later, I have no idea....) and I think he's happily engaged now to another guy. Good for you. You still suck for being immature.


I love little moments that conjure of memories of the past.

Important! Open Immediately!

5 December 2010

Attn: Mr./Ms. Baby Losch:

This is your official eviction notice. You will have 2 weeks to vacate the premises with all of your belongings and management would prefer if you were able to leave earlier.

Reasons for Eviction:
You signed a 9 month lease and you have yet to pay for ONE month.
Utilities were included and you have abused this privilege (entertainment, heat, water, etc.).
Food was built into the rent, however you have not PAID rent.
You keep other tenants and management up during the night with your Dance Dance Revolution parties.
Your expectations of the building are a little too high, considering you don't PAY RENT.
Your field goal practicing during the day has put a damper on other activities.

Please consider yourself on notice. If you do not comply, further action will be taken.

Regards,
Management

Holidaaaaaaay

My company holiday party is tonight and unfortunately, this time, I won't be coming home dirty drunk like I did last year. I had a BLAST last year. But I think I'll have a blast this year too. I'm actually very excited. I was thinking of bringing a flask of apple juice to take shots of apple juice.

I'll post some pictures later, with me and all my preggo glory.

Things That Freak Me Out

There are things that just freak or skeeve me out. Very random things sometimes.

1) People who don't like chicken. C'mon. This is not just a black thing.
2) People who don't believe in using lotion to moisturize.
3) The dude that works at my company who walks around with no shoes sometimes.
4) The women at my company who can't seem to keep our restroom clean and literally not full of shit.
5) Women who enjoy pregnancy.
6) Anyone who doesn't understand the concept of personal space. Please, you do not need to tell me your story 2 inches from my body. Back it up a few feet.
7) 10 lb infants.
8) Lint. (especially on sheets....ew...it's just...ugh....no.....can't do it)
9) Man thumbs.
10) Spiders (or any bugs for that matter).
11) That speck of white spit some people get on their lips when talking and it just doesn't go away and it attaches itself to both lips and stretches, and ewwwwwww. Yea.
12) The notion that dinosaurs could make a return and be really pissed off (more specifically, T-Rexes).

I'm A Terrible Catholic

ManLosch and I went to Mass today (which is the norm for a Sunday morning for us if you haven't caught on by now). I finally settled my preggosaurus ass in the pew and ManLosch asked me "Do you want the book?"

See, I love the book. The book has all the songs and all of the readings. So while the lector reads, I read the book...and yes sometimes I read ahead. Because I'm 5 years old and I make more of a connection when I'm able to read while listening. Also, this is just an excuse for me to say that I heard the readings and gospel because I already read it.

So back to the book. Advent started today which makes it a new liturgical year (BAM! I learned something ya'll....bust it). We got new books. Brand new spanking books. Which means the kids haven't coughed on them, or colored in them with their crayons. I opened it, all happy to follow along, and wait...a...minute. What is this? Why is there only a synopsis of the reading AND NOT THE FULL READING?!?! WTF?! I quickly showed it to ManLosch and shrugged my shoulders indicating a sort of "What is going on" emotion. He said, "It's the reading, see where they listed Isaiah and the number at the top? It's just a short summary, not the whole reading." Immediate response? "This is bullshi-nezzzzzz." And somewhat loudly. ManLosch's eyes widened like "no this b*tch did not just curse in church." But I said, "WHAT? I said bullishnezz."

I think I'm going to have to find my own "Breaking Bread" book and bring it to church with me that has the entire readings. I won't survive Mass without the book! Okay, maybe I will. But I won't like it.

4 1/2 More Weeks

Lately, I haven't really had much to blog about, so I didn't want to just post that I had nothing to post about. This pregnancy has really taken a toll on my energy level. One thing that I found that really helped one of the pains I'd been experiencing is prenatal yoga. Just in one sitting doing some hip openers, the pain in my hips lightened up. I did a little yoga tonight as well. Had some trouble doing downward facing dog, so I will have to wait for ManLosch to get home to help me a little until I am comfortable with all those positions on my own.

Another side effect of pregnancy? My dreams have become A LOT more vivid. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. But it can be distracting. Certain images are longer lasting than others and some are more "colorful" than others. This is actually something I don't mind, but I do mind when it's so vivid that it wakes me up in the middle of the night. I guess we can't have everything.

4 1/2 more weeks.....I am counting down the time. I'm very anxious but very excited. I'm alot of feelings all rolled into one, if that makes any sense.

How I Spent My Weekend

1) Watching back-to-back episodes of "In Living Color" on one of the channels I forgot we had. I keep forgetting that we have a ton of channels that aren't HD, so it was a real treat to find that gem on Friday night while ManLosch was dining with architects from Hahhhhvahhhhd.

2) Sleeping. Eating. Watching "Coming to America."

3) Attending a breastfeeding class. I learned how a baby should latch onto my breast by watching a hand puppet baby seal and a fake breast and nipple that had a pull string attached to the back to also demonstrate inverted nipples. Not funny considering one of Ryan's friend's that day told me we could be having a baby seal instead of a human. This class was alot better than the childbirth education class, but of course, it's not the real deal. So I guess I'll find out soon. We did get 2 hours of entertainment though just by watching the woman repeatedly and excitedly latch onto the stuffed boob/nipple herself with her own mouth.

4) Eating Legal Sea Foods. Yummmmmmmmmmm. I had a very happy tummy.

5) Church at 8am. The priest made his gender prediction after it was over. He said a boy and thinks I'm going early.

6) Outlets, Ikea, and Costco. Found Snickers Cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory at Costco. Began pawing the freezer door until ManLosch placed a box in the cart. I also found a very rideable kids' pony in the toy section and may or may not have had a field day with it.

So in other words....I spent my weekend very well. :-)

Indeed Those 6 Words

I'm finishing up a book called, "I'm Sorry You Feel That Way" by Diana Joseph (who, by the way, I had the chance to hear read an excerpt from this book back in March). I'm on the last chapter and she is describing the moment she tried to tell her then-husband that she wasn't happy and wanted out of the marriage. His response to her was "I'm sorry you feel that way." I'd like to quote what she wrote next:

"..I'm sorry you feel that way. The I'm sorry part makes it sound like a generous sentiment, empathetic and understanding, but when you think about it, it's really a load of crap. It really means What you feel is stupid and wrong but the reason you feel that way is because, regrettably, you're stupid and wrong. I think it's so much more honest to say fuck you, Up yours. Who cares. What's that got to do with me? Too bad, so sad. So what. Whoop de do. Foo on you. Big deal. Bite me. You're full of shit. You don't know your ass from a hole in the ground. Tough titty. No, really, fuck you."

I'm not sure why this paragraph hit me so hard, but OMG DAMN! How true is this. In reality, really...think about it. How many times has someone sarcastically told you they were sorry? Or maybe they said this to you but used different words and it made you feel lower than low. You think, "Damn why didn't you just say what you really meant!"  I've had people tell me this, or express this somehow and it's definitely made me feel like this. That "you really don't give a shit, so why bother" kind of feeling.

Sorry, just had to share this portion of the book since it really just resonated with me. :)

Lovely Little Losch

Baby is head down!!! I repeat, baby is HEAD DOWN!!!
My little Peanut is getting ready just like his/her mama is getting ready for all of this life changing-ness.

I was at work today and thinking to myself, "Holy crap, this body, my body is sustaining a LIFE! And that life has a healthy heartbeat and kicks ManLosch when ManLosch pokes my belly." It was this strange, surreal moment. And then I talked to Esperanza and she about said the same thing. These are the last few weeks that I'll ever have alone with my husband again, but I think we're ready for that. And I'm ok with that. :-)

Monitors and Scales

I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow. I've been going every 2 weeks now. In less than a month, I'll be going every week. It's a little scary. Especially when a co-worker informed me that I could miss the work Christmas party because I could totally be 3 weeks early like her son was.

The appointments don't last long, just all the basics. I'm starting to get extremely uncomfortable now. My ankles are swelling. Sitting is uncomfortable, standing is uncomfortable, everything is just uncomfortable. It's awful. It's driving me insane. ManLosch is letting me get a massage next week to help with the back pain and the hip pain. Anxiety is setting in now. I'm nowhere near ready, but I am all in one.

How many more weeks of this??