Do You Smell That?

It's the smell of books. Lots of them. At the Belmont Public Library.

That's right. I'm a nerd. I'm a total book nerd and I LOVE IT. So shut up.
I signed up finally for a library card there, since I had been a huge fan of the Boston Public Library. But mi amiga and co-worker Nora (who also lives in Belmont) got her card a few weeks ago maybe at the Belmont one and said how much she loved it. So after 2 1/2 years, I finally decided to get one. Finally.

And I was so happy I did. I'm such a nerd. Already took out 3 books and-

(WHERE THE FUCK IS COLT MCCOY?! C'mon Texas, I put money on this game........ok I didn't actually put money on this game, but dammit!!!)

Anyway, I also got a DVD. I'm a very proud bookworm and can't wait to read these books...especially one that seems a little strange but it was too freakin weird to NOT have taken it out. Ask me later.

Back to reading (and secretly cursing Alabama to lose..I mean they have the Heisman winner and if the Heisman curse holds true....THEY SHOULD LOSE......ok ok, I'm done).


GoTexas.

Feet, Frogs, and Yoga

There were SO many things wrong with yoga tonight, it's not even funny.

1) Jill wasn't teaching. Nina subbed for her. At least there was no partnering.

2) Nina looked at me and said "Now...I remember your name. Is it Aykesha?" WTF?!?!?! WHAT?! Is that even a real flippin name? SERIOUSLY?!
3) Two women walked in late. Who walks in late to yoga? You interuppted my flow.
4) Two said late women decided to come all the way to back and sit on either side of me, even though there was NO ROOM.

5) The one to my right didn't seem to care that she was all up in my personal Tadasana.

6) While using yoga bands:

Imagine using that, but lying down. Now put the band over your foot like above and stretch one leg up. Now take that leg and stretch it out straight to the side while holding the band. WHY WAS THAT BITCH'S FOOT 5 INCHES FROM MY FACE?! Because I could smell her foot. It was THAT close. It happened a few times. A few times too many.
7) While using the bands for a different stretch, a man sighed out loud with "Ohhh yeeaaaa."
8)While stretching our legs out to the side, Foot Frannie decided to use my mat as her personal foot rest. I took a peek back while doing this stretch:

And I saw her foot on my mat. ON MY MAT. I shifted back a little to hopefully pretend to sit on her foot by accident.
9) While in Frog Pose:

I had the chance to have my feet facing Foot Frannie, so I inched my legs as far apart as I could so she could check out MY feet, maybe smell it a little (I know I know, I'm horrible, but I didn't shove my foot in her face either). Ended up stretching my legs more than I wanted.

And at the end? She didn't even apologize for coming in late and taking up more space than necessary. I about punched her. And when Nina walked by, I could smell her B.O. from also just teaching a Pilates class. And the strange part? I actually had a good workout, even after all that shit. Go Aykesha.

Flip Flip!

ManLosch got me a Flip for my birthday and I've been having way too much fun with it. I will post a video soon that I think I took on my actual birthday. It's of my best friend Marcus and I singing "To Be Real" out loud. Like really loud. And I was drunk. It's real bad.

Actually....let's just include it now.
Enjoy! Or laugh out loud. Or cry.

Bridezillas!

If you know me, you KNOW I love me some "Bridezillas." If you're that in the dark that you don't know what this is, it's a wonderful show on the WE channel. It's pretty self-explanatory. Women who are horrible bitches invite cameras to tape the last week or two of their wedding plans and the day of the wedding. And the shit they do the last 1-2 weeks before the wedding doesn't even happen in real life, so you can thank tv for that part. So this always makes me remember how easy going I was when ManLosch and I planned our wedding. And you can sit there and laugh, but I swear to you, I was one of the most easygoing brides EVER. Go ahead and ask ManLosch. Or my bridesmaids.....go on. Ask. I'll wait.......................................

See? Told you. And to prove to you how laidback I was, here were the things I didn't do:

-Didn't want to wear makeup. Everyone forced me to do it. When I did a trial run with a bridesmaid, I cried when I got home and most of it came off on ManLosch's shirt.

-Didn't choose the flowers. Just said I wanted calla lilies for my bouquet and didn't care what the rest looked like.

-Didn't care what the centerpieces looked like. Let the florist figure it out.

-Tried on 3 dresses. Chose one of them because I was already tired of trying on dresses.

-Didn't care what bridesmaids looked like in their dresses. Size 1 or Size 30. Didn't really care.

-ManLosch chose his own tuxes. Didn't care what he chose as long as he didn't show up in a wifebeater.
-Let the photographer choose the different shots. Wasn't that particular.

-Food? Eh, I figured everyone else would choose what they like.

-Jewelry? Yea, bought it 3 days before the wedding, HA!

-Had a 3-tiered ice cream cake from Carvel because regular wedding cake blows. Saved thousands of dollars.

I know there were some things I WANTED but it never turned into an argument, because they weren't very specific things. I had fun planning my wedding. But watching crazy ass bitches plan their weddings and beat their future husbands? Priceless.

Jersey Shaw

I know. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to disappoint my readers (speaking of...where have you all been?), but I did it. I started watching "Jersey Shore" on MTV. Because it reminds me of how good I have it by not being an idiot with slicked hair and fake boobs on tv. But these people are just freakin HILARIOUS.

So on Facebook, there is an application that allows you to create your own Jersey Shore nickname. I did my name and ManLosch's name. Ahem:

Aaaahahahahahahahaha.

New Year's Decade

I was talking to ManLosch last night while lazily sprawled out on the couch about the New Year. And he mentioned how really, it's just a new year. Bringing in 2010 shouldn't be any different than 2009 or 2008. I mentioned that it was; that so many things have happened for people in our age group to actually remember. Because 1990-2000, well we all were alot younger. Alot of us were still in elementary school at the very beginning. Either way, for a large chunk of us (meaning my friends), we hadn't begun our true adult life.

So many things have happened in 10 years, that I remember (and alot that I don't), that makes it crazy to think that 10 years has gone by! Here are just some of things that I've done, seen, smiled at, cried at, etc:

Left Mount Vernon, NY for Miami, FL. Barely looked back.
Left Miami, FL for Boston, MA. Have looked back. Almost everyday.
Dated. Broke up. Dated. Broke up. Went to the movies. He wore a pinky ring (deal breaker).
Dated again. Broke up. Dated. And this time, I married him.
Ate alot of ramen. Probably my weight in ramen. And alot of Lucky Charms. Dorm life.
Got 2 degrees by 23 years old.
Had some pretty awesome jobs. Had some pretty shitty jobs.
Seen more of the country and world since being with my husband.
Adopted a dog.
Joined a college marching band (because how else would I have met the hubs?)
Joined a college marching band sorority.
Gone through 10 cell phones.
Went to all 4 BCS football games.
Been to 2 funerals in 2 weeks.
Saw the Hurricanes play in the sun. In the rain. In an impending hurricane. And in the snow.
Walked in rain up to calves, barefoot. Walked in snow, up to my calves, not barefoot.
Fell in love too many times.
Connected with my dad. Lost it. Connected again. Lost it. Connected again. Lost it. (Repeat many many times).
Had 2 pet turtles. Had a crazy hamster. Hamster died in his own outhouse (crazy huh?)
Saw Ludacris and danced in the crowd at his concert on campus in a tropical storm.
Learned how to drive. Watched man drive on sidewalk in Miami shortly thereafter.

I'm sure there are alot more. But even just reminiscing about the things I've done in a decade brings back some good memories. I'm actually excited to create some new ones this decade. Hopefully more good than bad. And hopefully ones that will make other people excited too. :)

Auld Lang Syne My Dear

2009 comes to a close in 2 hours. And I see it as a way to start new. It's always a way to start new; to do things differently...hopefully to be better. Now don't get me wrong, alot of great things have happened in 2009, but alot of shitty things have happened too. And I want 2010 to be the Year of the Lexi, because I said that about 2009 too and it did NOT happen. So I'd like to share 10 things that I learned in 2009:

1) Don't ever make someone a priority when you are only an option.

I've learned this one HARD. You don't have to be in a romantic relationship to get hit with this son of a bitch. I'm the type of lady that, when you make me a priority, you will be treated with mutual respect and you'll know how much I love you. So in 2010? It's gonna be better. I hope.

2) All the vet bills are worth it.

Okay, LoschDog has been fairly pricey this year, and ManLosch and I get frustrated and curse. But Jordan is so worth it and I love him to death. He reminds you of the power of unconditional love and it feels so good.

3) There will always be bad drivers.

Pretty self-explanatory, huh?

4) Self-meditation is necessary in order to spend time with yourself and learn who you really are.

I will be practicing this one in 2010 alot. It's helped me alot the last few months, but I'm far from where I want to be.

5) Red Sox fans are still all kinds of awful.

I know, I know, alot of you who read this are Red Sox fans. And I still like you. But I still hate the stereotypical ones.

6) You have to give everyone a shot.

I've talked to strangers when most people shouldn't have. I even grew a set and asked DiDi for her email address after my writing class and we're now growing to be friends (I hope). I gave $5 to a homeless man outside of a Walgreens because I told ManLosch "What he does it with it is not for me to judge." And even though he turned out to be a little crazy, he was alright. Just give someone a shot. Stop shutting people out.

7) There's always a dealbreaker.

Not everything is totally unconditional. C'mon now. No matter how much you don't want to admit it (::cough cough pinky rings cough cough::), there is always something.

8) We should all make more of an effort to strengthen the connections we've made with people.

We're all guilty of it. We talk to people, form superficial bonds, and then leave it. From now on, be kind. Be thoughtful. Send a handwritten letter, a postcard; remind the people in your life EXACTLY why they are in your life.

9) Everyone should recognize the true power of Mother Nature by visiting a beach, a canyon, a forest, a waterfall, etc.

Going to Niagara Falls in November reminded me of all of the wonderful natural power around me. It was beautiful. And at some point, everyone should take in something that has the power to take your breath away, the power to make you sit and think, or just the power to do something better.

10) Writing is more therapeutic than I ever could have imagined.

And not just my blog. My journals, the writing class....it's been a good year for me in terms of my writing journey. And I want to make big plans for myself in terms of my writing for 2010, and I can't wait. 2009 was a good starting point.

So my lovelies....2009 is coming to a close. I wish you all a safe night, and a wonderful New Year. I will see you all tomorrow, next month, next year.....next decade. :-)

(you like my birthday shirt?? thanks Stef & Ryan)

Happy Birthday to Me

I dont think I'm supposed to be typing right now, but someone is typing for me. His name is Marcus. And he is my best friend. Lexi's too drunk to type, but she's dictating. Flip flip flipadelphia! Name that show. You'll win a $10 gift card to Best Buy if you are the first person to name that show. Happy Birthday to me!

Stranger Danger

Okay, so I had to exchange a pair of jeans today (the Danny DeVito ones). So after I leave the hairdresser, I walk to the store to exchange them. I walk in and it's very quiet, so I ask the guy with a jacket and scarf on, "Um, are you guys closed?" He says, "No, not even close yet. It's just cold down here, so no one is down here." I say, "Ohh, that's ok. Hey, do you have a garbage can? I just need to throw my coffee out. And then can you help me?"

Diarrhea of the mouth with a stranger that isn't typical. But he agrees to exchange my purchase when I'm done.

I go upstairs, find a bigger size (Lexi Losch had to find a BIGGER SIZE. EVERYONE PLEASE TAKE NOTE) and decide to try them on before leaving the store this time. I go to the dressing room and the guy asks me, "How many?" I say, "Oh, just one. A pair of jeans. I need to exchange them. Can you believe that I got a pair too small? I mean look at me. I usually just go for the smallest size possible and this time, it was too small! I couldn't even get them over my ass!"

::cricket cricket::

OMG LEXI, SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!! What the hell was wrong with me? Here's what's wrong with me: I'm comfortable with strangers.

I know, it sounds weird. But I feel most comfortable, I've decided, being around people I don't know when it comes time for conversation. Because I have this notion that I'm making someone's day by making them laugh, when in reality, they may think I'm some 5'2" Chester. With strangers, you can make quick and easy contact and never talk to them again if you don't want to. It's painless and almost like feeling fresh blood flowing through your heart. It's reviving.

And weird. I know. I'm sorry. Maybe it's the idea that I'll officially be a year older tomorrow, so I feel the need to end this horrible year on a positive note. Maybe I found the need to tell everyone that the jeans wouldn't fit over my ass. Maybe.......well, maybe it's just maybe. Maybe I'm just strange. A strange stranger. And I kinda like that. I'm ok with that. :-)

I WAS In Miami Trick

These are just a few photos from our recent trip to Miami. Not a whole lot indeed. But it makes me want to go back, even if just for the warm weather. I can't wait for summer.

A Day In The Life.....

Went to Mass (yea...thanks Midnight Mass for making it required in like a span of 72 hours). Enjoyed the mild quiet with only 2 screaming children today. Thought about how hungry I was.

Came home and ate some yummy French Toast that my mom made. Wasn't hungry anymore.

Went shopping in Harvard Square. Wasn't going to buy anything. Thought about sales. Ended up buying shit I didn't need. Thanks Gap.

Went to Newbury Comics to look for CD's. Ended up finding a CD that I've been looking for for awhile now. Smiled real hard inside right before I thought about food again.

Ate pizza. Wasn't good.

Went food shopping for dinner. Mother got into a mini fight with a woman at Star Market. Thought it was funny. Reminded her that we live in Massachusetts.

Mother fumed about wretched woman for entire car ride home.

Got home, relaxed, watched tv. Thought that I should read my book a little more.

Read my book a little more. Decided to start cooking dinner (salmon, broccoli, and potatoes).

Cooked dinner. Everyone loved it. ManLosch looked in the fish tank and saw that one of them has gone to the great fish tank in the sky. Witnessed sucker fish "sucking" on the deceased. Let out a girly yelp. Asked ManLosch if he would take the fish out and he replied, "We'll just let nature take its course. May be less for me to clean up."

After cleaning up dinner, tried on jeans that were bought today as an early birthday gift. Spent 5 minutes trying to get them on and realized they wouldn't go over my ass. Cursed self for always assuming I was the smallest size possible.

Used ManLosch to help me get the jeans off a la Danny DeVito's skinny jeans on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Enjoying the rest of the fam tonight. Looking forward to 2010. Almost here.

Goodnight kids. :)

Resolutions 2.0

Dear 2010,

You're almost here. 5 days to be exact. Well less than that. That's neither here nor there. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I hated 2009. And I'm hoping that you, 2010, will bring me better luck. I hope that you will bring me more joy and excitement, less heartache.....than 2009. And because I am putting my hope and maybe a small amount of faith in you, I will be coming up with a few small resolutions. If you would be so kind to review them once you receive them, it would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,
LaLosch

Merry Christmas I Think

Is Christmas supposed to be bigger than this? Next Christmas, I've decided that I'm dragging ManLosch out of the country. It's been an alright day, but dammit.....sigh. 2010 is less than a week away, right?

Until then, enjoy the rest of the day and remember whose birthday it is (no, it's not mine yet). Happy Birthday Jesus!

Last Minute Gifts

Just in case you weren't sure what to buy me as a last minute Christmas gift, I'd really love it if you checked out SkyMall for one of these lovely items:

Telekinetic Obstacle Course

Because why WOULDN'T I want to telekinetically try to move a purple ball through a maze? My mind is THAT amazing.

Brightfeet Lighted Slippers

For all those late drunk nights when you stumble to the bathroom and can't find your way, these slippers will get you through anything. Even a hurricane. Or the apocalypse.


Fairy Garden Door

Because I need to ensure that all my fairy friends know the way to enter my house. All 2,000 different kinds. Because I'm that crazy cat lady who also has fairy friends.

I'm Sorry, BUT...

1) Nothing really tops the fact that I got 3 Snuggies in one day.
2) AirTran sucks even more than ever. ManLosch and I will not be flying that airline again if we can help it.
3) I promise you that I'm not the spokesperson for everyone else's life. Maybe it's because I'm nice, that people talk to me, but I can promise you that I'm not the one to spread their business.
4) I can't help but really want to adopt one of the kitties we take care of at PetSmart.
5) Yes, I have to work Christmas Eve.
6) No I don't want to have my birthday party on New Year's Eve. If my birthday were the 31st and not the 30th, then yes, totally.
7) Covering every inch of your lawn and house with Christmas decorations doesn't make you look like you're in the holiday spirit. It makes you look crazy.

2 days left until Christmas everyone! You know what that means. 3 DAYS LEFT UNTIL KWANZAA!!!!!!! (ahaha)

Lexi Gets a Snuggie....or 2....or 3

OMFG!!!

Today, we had our work Secret Santa, also known as a "Non-Denominational Holiday Gift Exchange." (sigh)

The person who had me got me........A SNUGGIE. OMG. It's awesome. It's the leopard print Snuggie. I modeled it during the exchange. I'm wearing it now as I blog. I reluctantly drew the line when I had to pee and took it off.

So, as I'm holding it, my friend Nora says, "Well maybe Ryan will want one too." I said, "Nah, he hates these things." After we wrap up, she says, "Come to my desk after you're done." After being chatty for another few minutes, I head back downstairs and she says,"Check your chair." So I walk back and there's a gift from her on the chair! I rip it open and NORA GOT ME A SNUGGIE. THE SAME EXACT SNUGGIE. I about went rip shit in the office and ran up and down the hallway, skipping like a 2nd grader. I knew Ryan would laugh and want to cut them both up, so when he picked me up, I showcased one through the door.

When I opened the car door, I said, "OMG, LOOK! And Nora got me a gift too. It's another Snuggie BITCH!" So I get in the car and tell him that Nora attached the gift receipt so I can exchange it for another color (you know, in case someone comes over my apartment and wants to chill with a Snuggie on the couch with me). So he says, "Well do you want to exchange it for a blue one?" I say, "Sure, why?"

He says, "Because I just wrapped a blue Snuggie for you right before I came here."

Readers of the LaLosch Blog......I AM THE OWNER OF 3 SNUGGIES. IN ONE DAY. December 22, 2009 will now be marked as 3 Snuggie Day.

I Got Nothin'

Sorry...

I got in this morning from my hellish flights. I haven't really stopped moving since this morning and I'm finally sitting down to just relax for a second. I'm so tired, that I can't even move my brain to figure out what I should talk about. I have a few things to write about, but my regularly scheduled being should return tomorrow.

By the way, you should go see "Up In The Air" with George Clooney. So good. Loved it. I'm reading the book now to see how it compares.

Ok, goodnight kids. So tired.

Leaving On A Jet Plane...At Some Point

Per usual, ManLosch and I cannot travel together. We theorize that when we travel alone, we have better luck. Then made that even more precise by saying when I travel alone, I'm usually on time and have better luck. So we actually determined that it's him. Here was our original itinerary:

5:40pm: Depart FLL for ATL
7:44pm: Land in ATL for hour layover. Arrange for a quick snack and relax.
8:50pm: Depart ATL for home(barf).
11:15pm: Arrive home.

Here is how reality quickly kicked us in the ass and shoved a pile of shit in our faces:

2:30pm: ManLosch and I try calling AirTran to get on an earlier flight after learning that our 8:50 flight was only delayed 10 minutes and our 5:40 flight was delayed until 6:20. We didn't want to miss the connection for fear of not getting home tonight.
2:45pm: We decide to just drive to the airport just in case, with AirTran still keeping us on hold, because there wasn't much else for us to do here anyway.
3:20pm: Stopped for gas to fill up the rental and as we stopped, we finally got an AirTran representative. After 48 minutes on hold, we got someone and all the flights were sold out anyway.
3:24pm: Me: "So what do you wanna do? We're already close to the airport." ManLosch: "We can just go and chill out."
3:45pm: Arrive at FLL. Return the rental. Both flights delayed, AND NOW even earlier at the airport than we originally planned. No massage places in sight and the "restaurant" is playing the Dolphins game that we couldn't give two shits about.
4:15pm(now): Taking advantage of the free Wi-Fi in the terminal (thanks Santa) and relaxing, happy that we haven't been stranded in an airport yet.


See you kids on the flipside of tomorrow.

Lincoln Road Is For People Watching

Because I've had a very relaxing weekend in Miami so far, I don't have a ton of things to talk about! But I did have lunch this afternoon on Lincoln Road on South Beach (early birthday gift from a friend) and we did alot of people watching. You don't realize how AWESOME that place is to talk about people. If I had a journal and all day to put a chair there and just sit, I totally would do it. We would start discussing how douchey it is for men to wear popped collars and then all of a sudden a swarm of men would walk by with popped collars. I even said "Sorry Fernando, I didn't mean to leave my Juicy sweatpants at home" because an entire family of women walked by in them. It's incredibly wonderful.

The weather is beautiful, a little chilly right now, but there's no reason I need to be sitting here blogging anymore, because I really need to be outside en mi segundo ciudad natal. :)

Tackiest Christmas Gifts

C'mon. Everyone, at some point, has received a horribly tacky Christmas gift (holiday gift, whatever). Something that makes you say "What the.....??" or "Who ARE you?" ManLosch was in middle school when he got a tacky Christmas sweater with a deer on it (he still owns it, don't let him fool you). One year, he also got a Halloween decoration. For Christmas. Tacky much?

Here are some of the tackiest Christmas gifts I think can be given:

A box of cake mix and a packet of gravy
A cat you found on the street prior to going over that person's house
A clearly worn shirt that you own, that the person has already seen you wear multiple times
A pool noodle
A pair of shoelaces and a bottle of shoe polish
Mrs. Fields cookies in a plaid bag that came from the supermarket 2 weeks after Christmas
Lingerie from your AuntCousin that is 3 sizes too big
A giftcard to PetSmart when you don't have any pets
A giftcard to Abercrombie when you aren't white
A membership to the "Cheese of the Month" club when you are lactose intolerant
A gift basket of lambskin prophylactics (and some of the boxes are missing a few)

Now if you want to know what I think are GREAT gifts.....just call me. There's a few days left until Christmas if you want to buy me something....I mean..ahem. Ya know.