Why I Love My Mom

My mom sees Jovie's 1st zerbert video on her website. She leaves a comment. This is her comment:

If you somehow still don't get the humor, please look at the last line.

Back to Work

Soooo I'm back at work now. BUMMER.

My first day back wasn't too bad. I did cry Sunday night, and it took me a bit to get out of the house yesterday, but I did it! And when 5:30 hit and I was still in a meeting, I said "Uhhh...yea, my uh-" And everyone said, "Yep, Jovie." I bounced out of my chair PRETTY quick and rushed home. I was greeted with the most beautiful toothless grin I've ever seen.

Who AM I now?! :-)

I Got Sucked In

Yes it's a sad state of affairs. I watch "All My Children" now.

Don't judge me.

I love this show! And guess what? I have a friend who watches it too, so we always talk about what's happening. Look here's the deal: it's like Grey's Anatomy, only it's on EVERY DAY! I love it. It's beautiful. This is what happens when you're home alone with an infant for 14 weeks. You go crazy. I got tired of talking to myself and only getting spit up as a form of conversation from Jovie, so I sought an outlet. And that outlet is AMC.

Go on. Give it a try. There is so much weird, dirty drama that you'll say "Wow. My life is great" or "Ooo where did she get that dress from?" So in addition to fake drama, I get style ideas to hide my little belly pooch.

You know you want to think about it. It's ok. I won't judge you. Come back and tell me what you think. :-)

Day 15

Five Things I Need To Say

1. How did we end up the way we did?
2. The solution that helped your baby may not help mine. I just need your understanding sometimes, not telling me what is best. What's best is what's best for MY baby.
3. If I tell you to do something, please just do it. It's rare that I tell someone to do something, and sometimes, when I "suggest you try" something, it really means do it.
4. It makes me sad that I've barely listened to music the last 3 months. Yes, I know it's for a reason,  but it still upsets me.
5. I'm a skinny bitch. Get over it. I've always been thin and I always will be. I can't control it. It's genetics. Now stop calling me anorexic or too thin and take a look at your own damn body. I don't call you fat do I? No because I'm not insensitive and I probably think you are beautiful anyway. So stop making me feel like I don't take care of myself and that I'm not beautiful and perfect the way God made me. I don't need to eat a hamburger. I need you to STFU.

Day 14

Five Ways To Win My Heart

1. Cook dinner for me (preferably something with seafood and I'll be hooked).
2. Actively listen to what I'm saying and respond appropriately.
3. Ask me to marry you (I mean cmon, what'd you expect)
4. Kick my chair, rub glue on my arm, and call me a fartface.
5. Make me laugh all the time. Even in my sleep.

Day 13

Five Ways To Make You Cry

1. Say you don't love me anymore.
2. Tell me that no one in my trifecta of men would ever date me.
3. Trip me and let me fall on concrete.
4. Knock me up and watch the hormones flow.
5. Failing at anything.

Day 12

Five Bad Things About You

1. I'm extremely stubborn.
2. I have a hard time forgiving those that have really wronged me.
3. I'm still not too sure about this whole motherhood thing.
4. I laugh at others expense (not all the time, but c'mon when you wear a zebra print catsuit and you weigh 400lbs, it's like asking for commentary).
5. My patience is always thin. ALWAYS.

Day 11

Five Good Things About You

1. I'm an extremely supportive friend and I love being there for my closest friends if they need me.
2. I put others before me a good chunk of the time (which I guess could also be a bad thing).
3. Creativity is a large passion.
4. I make people laugh (sometimes inappropriately).
5. I actively work hard at trying not to judge people. It's hard, and I'm not perfect. But I do make a solid effort to remember that everyone has their own story. 

Day 10

Five Things You'll Never Do

1. Skydive.
2. Tell someone I love them/like them if I don't.
3. Cheer for the Red Sox.
4. Drink Smirnoff Ice (too much in college and it's not that good).
5. Raise a family without dogs.

Day 9

Five Things You Want To Do

1. Write a book.
2. Go to Australia.
3. Figure out how to be a good mom.
4. Serve at a soup kitchen in the next few months.
5. Be a guidance counselor for high school kids.

Day 8

Five Things You're Known For

1. The girl who loves to dance at weddings (someone once mentioned hiring me as entertainment..don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing).
2. Doing the Elaine dance at work at random moments during the day.
3. Turning my lips inside out (yea you don't want to know).
4. The girl that somehow ends up in funny and strange situations, thus giving me strange and somewhat hilarious blogging material.
5. My love of shoes. LOVE LOVE LOVE SHOES.

Day 7

Five Things That Make You Hyper

1. "Come on Eileen." That song makes me happy and makes me want to shake it all over the house. And I usually do.
2. Good juju.
3. Caramel Macchiatos from Starbucks. Especially after 9 months of being pregnant. MMMMM....
4. Receiving chocolate covered strawberries and spa gift certificates in the same day!
5. My trifecta: Patrick Dempsey, John Krasinski, and Sam Bradford. Again, ManLosch is aware of my relationship with all 3 and is fully supportive.

Day 6

Five Things You Do When You're Bored

1.  Write (blog, journal, essay, whatever).
2. Read (yea I'm a total nerd).
3. Pretend like I have money and shop (more like window shop, but it's ok).
4. Eat (because I'm still tiny even after having a baby and I don't gain weight, so it's fun)
5. Take pictures. I'm not great at photography, but it's still fun to go outside and take pictures of random things.

Day 5

Five Signs That You're NOT Into Someone

1. When I ignored your whistling and kept walking? And then still ignored the "Ay yo Shawty!!"?? Yea. I might not be into you.
2. I don't make eye contact with you. That's pretty basic.
3. I don't cook for you. Ever. Sorry dude.
4. I don't share my Pepsi with you. EVER. (this one is pretty huge)
5. If I didn't make a baby with you (or at least practice making a baby with you), then I'm probably not into you. Yep, I said it.

Day 4

Five Signs You're Into Someone

(well this would be from about 7 years or so ago....)

1. I ask them to put together furniture because I'm retarded when it comes to building anything.
2. I might share some deep deep secrets early on because I feel a sense of trust from the beginning.
3. I make it a point to be around them as much as possible...most of the day if I can. :)
4. If the person can hold a conversation with me OUTSIDE of online social networking, then yea, I might be into you.
5. I'd agree to attend a sporting event with them. HEY! I'm not a huge sports fan, so if I'd agree to attend anything outside of college football, you should know that you're pretty damn special.

Day 3

Five Ways You Break The Ice

1. Talk about the shitty weather up here in Massachusetts.
2. Talk about the fact that I used to live in Miami. For some reason, people find this extremely fascinating. It's not like I used to deal drugs or live like "Miami Vice" or anything.
3. Make a joke about anything. I find myself to be a humorous person, so I try to make jokes whenever I can to lighten a situation.
4. Talk about latest books one has read. I always find it interesting to see what people like to read and if they don't, why they don't like to read.  This also can lead into writing and other creative interests.
5. Ke$ha's latest awful song. C'mon, she's AWFUL!!!!!

Day 2

Five Not So Basic Facts About You

1. I don't like the edges of sandwiches or the ends of subs, so please don't take offense if I don't finish the sandwich you made for me.
2. I was raised not to eat pork. I had pork bacon when I was a freshman in college and never looked back.
3. I had a hamster my senior year of college given to me by my friend and sorority sister. We named him Shoobie Squitch. He turned out to be a very angry hamster. He then decided to live in his outhouse and got too fat to get out. Yes, that is where he perished.
4. I don't really like getting manicures. It makes me uncomfortable. I prefer pedicures.
5. I used to like super fruity drinks, but now I just prefer Jack and coke. Maybe because I've had too many of those fruity drinks and crappy malt beverages in college that I can't even stomach them anymore.

Day 1

Five Basic Facts About You

1. I was born in Mount Vernon, New York and I should have been born in Queens.
2. I lived in Miami for 7 for years and I miss it terribly, except for our awful neighbors that even our next door neighbor called "marielitos." She was Cuban herself.
3. I gave birth to 7lb 2oz little girl on December 14, 2010 and surprised the hell out of everyone because everyone thought I was having a boy.
4. Even though I've lived in Metro-Boston for 3.5 years, I am still a Yankees fan. RedSox can suck it.
5. I was in marching band in college. I met my husband, my godmother, my daughter's godparents, and my best friends in marching band.

15 Days, 5 Challenge

This seems interesting, so let's see if I can do it!

15 days. 5 challenge.

Day 1. 5 basic facts about you
Day 2. 5 not-so-basic facts about you
Day 3. 5 ways you break the ice
Day 4. 5 signs that you’re into someone
Day 5. 5 signs that you’re NOT into someone
Day 6. 5 things you do when you’re bored
Day 7. 5 things that make you hyper
Day 8. 5 things you’re known for
Day 9. 5 things you want to do
Day 10. 5 things you’ll never do
Day 11. 5 good things about you
Day 12. 5 bad things about you
Day 13. 5 ways to make you cry
Day 14. 5 ways to win your heart
Day 15. 5 things you need to say

Judy, Pick Up The Sock

Did you ever watch "Friends?" If so, do you remember the episode where it was Phoebe's birthday and everyone was late to her birthday dinner? Rachel and Ross accidentally lock Emma in the apartment and his mom Judy brings the baby with her to the bar at the restaurant because Rachel can't be away from her. The entire time, Rachel is watching the fact that Judy is NOT watching the baby. She snaps at her and says "Look alive Judy!" and when Emma drops her sock, she goes crazy while in the middle of giving Phoebe a birthday toast. So Phoebe yells at Judy, "PICK UP THE SOCK JUDY, PICK UP THE SOCK!!"

As a new mother, I feel EXACTLY like this. Anyone else who is holding my child or just touching her makes me anxious. If Jovie is drooling and no one has cleaned it up in 5 seconds, I start shaking my leg and mumbling to myself and then I just grab the baby myself. I can't help it and it drives me insane. I admit that sometimes I'm even like this with ManLosch. I mean, I completely get that we're new parents and we don't know everything. But I do know this: Jovie Sophia Losch is OUR baby. Colicky, refluxy, possible milk allergy Jovie is our daughter and while we may not know everything, we DO know our daughter. And right now, that's all we need until everything else figures itself out. So if you've ever held/cared for Jovie or you might in the future, take heed. Look alive and pick up the sock.