That's What Happens

We had our normal Team Leader meeting this morning at work to just find out what's going on for the day for all our services. My punch-a-pony loving friend J was sitting next to me (who was going on a business trip in a few hours). He kept kicking my chair. I finally turned to him and said "You need to stop kicking my chair before I cut you." He laughed.

As we were getting up to walk out of the meeting, I turned to him and said "You know what? I hope that when you walk onto that plane today, there is a cranky little child sitting behing you, kicking your seat for the ENTIRE flight." He laughed again and we discussed how awful kids can be on flights sometimes.

At about 11am this morning, I get a call at work. It's J. He said "Hey do you want SkyMall?" (Natch.) I said "Yea of course." He said, "Oh and by the way, your wish came true. But there's TWO kids sitting behind me!" I laughed out loud and said "SEE!! That's what you get!!"

Moral of the story: Don't piss me off unless you want cranky kids kicking YOUR chair the whole flight. Mwahahahaha......

Where The Wild Things Aren't

Did you see "Where The Wild Things Are?" Because I did with ManLosch Saturday evening. And let me tell you. That movie bordered inappropriate for kids halfway through the movie and then moved right on into inappropriate before the movie was over. As we were walking out, some kid turned to his grandparents and said "That wasn't exciting at all. Where were all the exciting parts?" That's right kid. THERE WEREN'T ANY. Unless you want to be scarred for life by watching monsters who threaten to eat kids and then become friends with them, and then try to eat them again and then say you're sorry. What IS this, Bobby and Whitney's relationship??? No thank you. "Where The Bipolar Things Happen To Reside" should have been more like it. And the kid?? Listen up MAX, you need therapy. A few years of it. No kid's imagination is THAT effed. I'm serious.

I can tell you where the wild things WERE though. At flippin' Mass this morning. ManLosch and I sat through 45 minutes of watching these two sisters beat the shit out of each other, while the mother tried to separate the two. Her first attempt included a shove to the blonde one, and then a threat to the husky brunette one. Then they tried to step on each other. Then they tried to smack each other behind the mother's back. And to top it off, during the recessional hymn, an old man in the front pew gave the crucifix at the altar a big thumbs up. Yes. The man gave Jesus a thumbs up. First he did the sign of the cross, and then gave an approving thumbs up. My eyes widened and I looked at ManLosch, poked him, and he was already smiling, so he saw it too. I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

I think I saw more exciting things at church than the movie. I'm just sayin'.

To Whom It May Concern

10/15/2009

To: Ms. Mother Nature
From: Lexi Losch

Re: Today's Weather

Dear Ms. Nature,

I am writing in a complaint about today's weather. At 6:45am, I was instructed to look out of my bathroom window. I was told that the precipitation falling out of the sky was white and of the flaky substance, also known as "snow." I was under the impression that it was still only October, and that we were just getting used to the drop in temperature and watching the leaves change beautiful colors of orange and red. I was not prepared for snow. In October (just like I wasn't prepared to see a tape of a mom freak out on GMA this morning when her baby in the stroller rolled right off a train platform, onto the tracks, and the train ran over the stroller with said infant in it; the baby was ok though, if you were wondering...considering this is neither here NOR there and not your department).

I just wanted to ensure that there were no computer malfunctions this morning. I was thinking maybe your servers went down and it caused a glitch in your nature system. Maybe the timestamp on your system is incorrect, and it says December or January. I was hoping that this was just a tiny error and that you and your staff will be working diligently to correct this problem.

Please let me know if you need any other information supporting this complaint. I hope to see this resolved within the next 24 hours.

Thank you for your time,
Lexi Losch

Chill on the Chili

Yoga was new tonight. It was moved to 7:30pm and Jill was teaching. So needless to say, I was excited that I'd be Savasana-ing with Jill again. Well, before this class is Pilates with Nina. I'm not sure I'm ready to try it, so I was sitting outside, waiting for that class to finish up before I went into the studio. These 2 girls were busy talking about some crap I don't remember, but I did want them to shut up. I DO remember that.

We went inside the studio and the two girls throw their mats down right next to me. The manly one starts talking about what she did that day and then says "Yea, I had chili for lunch." The other one says "Ooo that sounds good! I wish we had better lunch selections." BLAH BLAH BLAH, SHUT UP. So fastfoward about 20 minutes into yoga. I'm deep into my poses, doing a twisted version of Warrior 1, and my olfactory senses kicked in. The husky ho farted in my face!!! Why the hell would you eat chili knowing you were going to be twisting your body around later? It was lots o' nasty.

Moral: Do not eat chili before yoga. Thaaaaank youuuuu.

ManLosch to the Rescue

At around 6:45am this morning, I got out of bed to get into the shower. Dreary-eyed, I flipped the bathroom light on, and I let out a blood-curdling scream (didn't seem to affect Jordan though, he slept right through the commotion). Ryan ran into the hallway and asked me what was wrong. I screamed, backed away and pointed.

Because I swear I saw a bug the size of Jordan on the bathroom wall. Actually I'm fairly certain that the bug ate a centipede, then grew another 100 legs on top of the ones it somehow took from the centipede, and maybe ate a squirrel before finding his way into my bathroom at 6:45am. It looked a little like this:

(those little red things are teeth that I'm sure it had based on how awful it looked)

I squealed and pointed, squealed and pointed. Ryan said "Wow, that thing is huge." I screamed back "KILL IT RYAN. GET RID OF IT, OH MY GOD, GET RID OF IT!!!!" He replied "Oh yea, right. Hold on." He got a paper towel, and disposed of the evil 200 legged bug that tried to ruin my morning routine. Sorry people, I just don't like bugs. That's just the way it is. I made Ryan check all the drawers and cabinets in the bathroom before I even stepped foot in there. I told him to put up a "No vacancy" sign because the bugs seem to think that this is a halfway house when it starts to get cold out.

Crisis averted. Thanks ManLosch for saving me yet again, from the evil bugs that enter my personal space (except for the spider that crawled on my arm in the rental car a few weeks ago, where I leaped into the backseat of the convertible, thinking the spider couldn't crawl into the backseat, but whateeevvvverrrrrrr).

Stuff Lexi Likes #3

(Before we move on, I just want to let you all know that Purina responded to me by sending me 3 coupons: 1 for free Purina crap, and the other 2 allow me to save $1 off some more Purina crap...oh and a computer generated postcard telling me they were happy for my inquiry, blah blah blah....effin Purina.)

Continuing on with things from the book "Stuff White People Like," we will continue to learn just exactly how white I may be.

#69 Mos Def
C'mon though, this isn't even fair. I like him. C'moooonnnnnnnnnnn.

#75 Threatening to Move to Canada
How many times have I threatened to leave the U.S. to live in Canada? My rationale? Canadians don't bother anyone ever. That has to be all kinds of awesome. Then I remember they have winter too and that I already don't do so well in Boston.

#79 Modern Furniture
I love IKEA. You know you do too. Don't even play. It's also affordable on my salary. And most likely yours too! So go there now and buy me a snazzy new lamp.

#81 Graduate School
What? Was I supposed to find a job with a Bachelor's in Psych?! No one warned me how useless the liberal arts are except when you're arguing with someone (in which you probably aren't getting paid, unless you're a lawyer, in which case, you aren't using your liberal arts undergraduate degree for that). Grad School was the best option, and guess what? I loved it. Suck on that.

#83 Bad Memories of High School
It's not my fault that I had to go through a metal detector every day and people got shot and stabbed just as often as a nympho goes through a box of lambskin prophylactics.

Stay tuned.......

Updates from a Recliner

You like updates on my life. So keep reading. Yea...go on....you know you want to....

I normally DON'T blog about work. That's my biggest rule about my blog. But I'm sorry, I can't NOT share the fact that someone at work has swine flu...oh wait, sorry, H1N1. Yes. The first confirmed case. At my job. And it's not a large company, so even though the name of the unfortunate victim wasn't in the email, we all freakin know who it is. And when we received that email, EVERYONE freaked out. I mean, people were running into the kitchen to grab hand sanitizer and Lysol wipes. I swear I'm not lying. People congregated around desks to discuss swine flu and how they don't want it (look, if you all congregate TOGETHER, you're more apt to pass germs....ever think about THAT???).

Besides that, the other biggest event of the day was the bag of popcorn that didn't make it all the way down in the vending machine. People spent money to try to buy other heavier things to push the popcorn down. There was even a wire hanger involved, along with shaking the machine, hitting the machine, sticking a knife in the machine, and hands and arms. Welcome to my job.

(Okay, I will probably NEVER blog about work again, considering the above wasn't really all that revealing or funny or insulting, but whatever. I can't break the rule.)

So I'm at yoga tonight and Nina tells us that the schedule is changing. They are moving my 6pm Hatha Yoga to 7:30. But guess who is teaching it? My fave instructor JILL!! I nearly sharted, I was so damn happy (I didn't really). So I'm super excited for next week. And since it was the last class for now with Nina, she asked us what our favorite poses were, and I completely rocked my class today. I had a great yoga session. Score.

See? I told you that you'd want to read about my life.

Verizon....We Need To Talk

Dear Verizon,

I thought FiOS would be better. I really did. And you know what? It IS better, except the incredibly moronic "cable guy" you sent over to install it did a shoddy job. So our cable shorts out every so often (during the Miami vs. Oklahoma game mind you) while we're watching very important television. So uncool. And the cable guy? Yes, he basically raped my husband with stories of how he got poison ivy and that's why he's being laid off from Verizon. Oh, he also told my husband that he would have had someone else come over to finish the job if he(my husband) was annoying, but lucky for him, heh heh. WTF??!? THAT'S who you sent to install our snazzy new cable? THAT'S who you sent to lure us away from Comcast???

Look, so far, it's working out. But barely. The shorting out has to stop. Oh and also? You can stop sending us promotional information in the mail about signing up for package deals with Verizon. WE ALREADY SIGNED UP. You're wasting the money that we pay you for HD cable/internet/phone/DVR by throwing it right back into promotional materials being sent right back to us. It's a vicious cycle Verizon. Stop it. And you offer way too many sports channels. This is bordering ridic. We even get Chicago sports and news. We get the Yankees channels, which are all well and good, but dammit, I just want to watch "Glee," "Grey's Anatomy," and "South Park" and call it a damn night.

Let's start over Verizon, ok? I want to give us a shot, but this is a two-way street. Let's try to get to "like" before we rush to "love."

Faithfully Yours(for now),
L. Losch

These Days.....

"....I wish I was 6 again
Oh make me a red cape
I wanna be Superman..."

I was reminiscing a little today about college, and remembered how much we used to jam to John Mayer (yea yea). One of my absolute favorite songs is called "1983" where he sings about wishing his life was more like it was in 1983. So I posted a song lyric and mi amigo C.Jones responded to it. We started talking about the song and he said "I wish I could go back to about 1995 and do it all over, but knowing what I know now so I could do it right."

Ain't that the damn truth?! We started throwing out scenarios, things we wish we could go back and change. So things I wish I could go back and change?

I wish I wouldn't have worn those baby pink patent leather high heels with the maroon tights, maroon skirt, and baby pink sweater set in 1995. No one warned me about the possible danger.

I wish I would have learned to play the drums. I could have dated myself.

I wish I would have paid attention in Mr. Caicedo's Global History class instead of sitting in the back eating Airheads all of 3rd period.

I wish I would have made threats to run away from home sooner so my parents would have gotten divorced before (I only would have gone down the block or something to my aunt's house).

I wish I would have gone to the prom with that kid David who was a senior when I was a freshman, but I lied to him and told him my name was Ayana on my first day of school.

I wish I wouldn't have "dated" that kid Patrick. Because we never really dated. But he kinda broke up with me by not returning my one phone call. That was a waste of a few weeks and a summer of writing letters from Florida.

I wish I wouldn't have skipped AP Calculus....well.....yea, no, I wish I would have actually just dropped it.

I wish I got to use all the cool kinds of toothpaste kids got to use. I just used adult Crest or some shit like that. I always wanted to use the Sesame Street toothpaste.

I wish I would have worn jeans that actually fit my body instead of hiding it in baggy jeans.

I wish I would have kept those tape cassettes that my best friend Zoe and I used to make back in 8th grade in her room. We used to sing, tell stories, and talk about people. Then we'd go out walking thinking we were cool.

I wish I would have kicked Rudi Szentimery's (total spell check) ass for calling me a "puta" on the corner of High Street and William Street on the walk home from school. Instead, he apologized profusely later and I ignored him. I was not the LaLosch then that I am today.


I know there are alot more things. It's funny to sit here and think back about things I'd change, if I knew then what I know now. But I don't want to bore you, so if this got YOU to reminisce about your own stories, share them! Because then we can sit here, laugh, and then have that awkward silence right after the laugh because you realize there's nothing you can do about it now. But I'd TOTALLY rock those baby pink patent leather heels now. Screw YOU 8th graders of Franko Middle School. I was just ahead of my time.

So Over It

I've realized today, that not only am I completely over September, and maybe even October before it starts, but that I'm also over 2009. Do you hear that 2009? I'm over you.

Impatiently waiting for 2010. And this time, it's going to go the way LaLosch wants it to go. In the words of my homie from the block Trick Daddy, "Let's go."

Booyah.

Not So Busy

I recently bought a Purina "Busy Bone" for the LoschDog. He loves chewing, surprisingly he doesn't chew on clothes or shoes or anything. But he loves rawhide and love bones. So the bag said "Fun Twisted Shape with meaty middle." It pointed to the outside part and said "Play Time!" and the meaty inside had an arrow and it said "Reward Time!" So the ManLosch and I get back from picking the pooch up from the PetsHotel after the weekend away, and I decided to give him a treat. He gladly accepted it and Ryan looked at the time.

Exactly 4 minutes later, Jordan was no longer busy. He finished the bone. So I decided to send an email to Purina, telling them exactly what happened:

"I recently bought a "Busy Bone" for my dog. Because of the name and because it said the outside of the bone provided "play time" and the inside "reward time," I bought it, knowing my dog would love it. He did love it. He loved it in 4 minutes flat, which in fact, did NOT keep him busy. Any other Purina product suggestions for an aggressive chewer such as mine?"

The next screen that came up informed me that a team member would answer my email as soon as possible. Riiiiiight. I just want to know why it's called "Busy Bone." It clearly did not keep my dog busy. There was no play time or reward time. It was just 4 minutes. 4 minute Bone. So I want some answers. Pretty soon.

Stay tuned.
Woof.

SVMO II: Attack of the Chuckles

So I had a run-in with the vending machine dude finally at work. On Monday, I was in the kitchen warming up my peanut butter sandwich to have before lunch (yea, shut up), and the vending machine guy walks in with his cart o' goodies. So I said "You know, you don't have to refill the Chuckles. No one eats the Chuckles."

Do you know what this 'tard said to me? "Wanna bet?" First, why the hell would you bet anyone on Chuckles? Second, if I said no one eats the Chuckles, I effin meant that no one eats the damn Chuckles. So I said "No not really. They just sit there. Look at all your snacks! We'd prefer 2 rows of fruit snacks over the Chuckles." He didn't say anything. He just proceeded to fill up the vending machine.

Wtf buddy?? I asked nicely. Why do we have 2 rows of Sour Cream and Chive crackers in our machine anyway? Right, no one eats them. So why can't we have 2 rows of something I actually suggest? It's ON vending machine douche. We're going to boycott the Chuckles until they are gross and stale and turn into Jawbreakers. You may have won this battle buddy guy, but you will not win the war. It's SO on.

Things Lexi Can Do Without

I've decided to start a column, maybe weekly, or maybe when I just feel like posting, about things that I can do without. Things that happen to come across my day or desk or my LIFE that I'd prefer just found their way into the trash, in space, or maybe never existed at all. Today, I had a few of those encounters, but let me share one with you now.

#1
"Peace Be With You" during Catholic Mass
Don't get me wrong. I like Mass. Ok, let me take that back. I like going to Mass for the chance to see how messed up other people are, which COMPLETELY defeats the purpose of going to Mass. ManLosch is Catholic and a little more devout than I am (I took the adult religious ed classes a few years ago to actually just acquire an organized religion for the first time in my life). He goes every Sunday and I go every Sunday that I can wake up without feeling groggy. Anyway, I digress. So you know the part during Mass where you're supposed to turn to your neighbor and "offer them a sign of peace?" You shake their hands, some people hug and say "Peace Be With You" or just "Peace." Some people even go so far as having conversations.

Yea, I HATE this part. I told this to ManLosch one day and he said "What? You don't like offering people peace?" And it's not that. I DO wish peace upon people. So why do I need to vocalize it? Why can't I just keep it to myself? Better yet, since we're supposed to be believing in a higher power, why can't you just TRUST me that I worked it out with Jesus up there to wish you and yours a sign of peace? Do you really need me to shake your hand and awkwardly smile? Especially you, with the hand that I KNOW just changed the diaper or wiped your kid's saliva ridden mouth. Ew.

Know what else I can do without? When some churches make you turn around right before Mass starts just to say "Hi" to your neighbor. What is with the double "Peace Be With You?" I don't think so. You're going to have to choose when you want me to say what's up and wish you peace. It's not happening twice. Especially if your kid just kicked the back of my foot while I was trying to pray peacefully before Mass. You can actually expect NO peace-wishing for you. Maybe just a piece of my foot up your........

Yea.

Are We Breaking Up? Part 2

Dear Comcast,

I'm sorry it had to be this way, but it's just not working out anymore. Yes, ManLosch and LaLosch are moving on from you. It's time. I'm going to need you to calmly take back your DVR and your Cable HD Box and move on out of our lives. I think we need a break.

No...please. Stop. Get your vile prices off of us. It wasn't meant to be. Can't you see that? We've matured and realized that our bank accounts have not. And you aren't willing to compromise with us anymore. What?.....Yes. It's not even close to us. It's definitely all you. You suck at life. What's that?......Why do you need to know if it's someone else? That's none of your business. Can't you see it's just not working out between us anymore? Okay fine. Yes, there IS someone else. It's name is Verizon FiOS and they are offering us better prices, supposed faster internet service, and a few more HD channels. It's for the best right now. They are willing to work with us and they are giving us a few free months of HBO and Showtime too. You gave us shitty "Starz." Who the hell watches Starz anyway?! Right. No one.

We can set up a time for you to come pick up your things, but let's make this as pain free and easy as possible. We all knew this was coming. You can't be surprised. Excuse me? Did you just call me a b*tch? That's alright. You're just angry. Take your boxes and be gone. It's over. Like, REALLY OVER.

Yours in Christ,
The Loschs

Busy Lady

So I've been on the move this week. I've occupied my brain (maybe too much) with something to do every night so far. And those that keep up with my life outside of my blog know that I've been having trouble sleeping for the last few weeks. So let's hope that changes soon!
Enough of that.....

Monday night, ManLosch and I went to see a documentary called "We Live in Public."If you ever need to be reminded of how UN-private your life is, go see it. It was REALLY good, about this dude named Josh Harris. This dude is F*CKED up. I mean, royally. I don't even want to say in a good way; just the way he viewed humans, just another "experimental rat" in his restless tirade of ideas. Ugh. But damn. It was good. Very good. Sparked some good conversation between ManLosch and I.

Tuesday night, I branched out and tried a different yoga class. I went to Yoga Sculpt. And the instructor was actually a sub for the regular woman. His name is Skylar. And he........was.......hot. Okay, sorry. I was a little distracted by the hotness, but I did concentrate on the workout. It's pretty intense. Almost a little TOO intense for me. But my co-worker informed me that the normal class isn't as intense, which is good. So I think I will try it next Tuesday. And I GUESS it's ok to to tell everyone now, that I have a yoga friend! We met at the regular Wednesday night class and we bonded in the locker room about how we hated partnering up in that class. So we agreed to try out the Tuesday class, exchanged emails, and it actually worked! So we went and we both liked it, so we even talked about trying weekend classes too. Yay for yoga friends. :)

I still went to my regular Wednesday night class tonight and I'm ready to freakin punch a pony. STOP PARTNERING US UP PLEASE! Yoga isn't about partnering. Srsly. Ugh. Not to mention I barely had enough energy tonight to even do Savasana. Anyway....

Back to watching "Glee." :-)

Leno Lockdown

Aaaahaha, Kanye on Leno. CMON! Kanye, damn man. You makin' me get ghetto on you right now. Okay, okay.

Look, Kanye, what you did to Taylor Swift was AWFUL. I don't really like her or her songs (they ALL sound the same), and yea, I might have rooted for Beyoncé too because I just like her, but DAMN MAN. You keep taking steps back for black folk. I promise you, people of the Caucasian persuasion, we don't all interrupt people accepting awards at high profile events.

You kinda apologized on Leno, but dammmmmmmmit MAN, you sounded retarded. Like you were stumbling on an apology. Too many outbursts dude. You can be a celebrity and still do good for other people you know. It IS possible to control those outbursts of egotistical rage.

Rant over.

Moral: Step it up Kanye. Stop your maniacal madness.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Today, I volunteered at a University of Miami Info-Session here in the Beantown area. ManLosch also volunteered, so NATURALLY, we went together. I found out who would be conducting the session and before we left the house, I said to ManLosch "$10 he doesn't remember who I am."
Wanna know why I said that? Because I worked in the Admission Office there for 2 years, then worked in the College of Engineering Admissions Office with links to the general Admission office for one year before we moved up to Boston. So, the point was, the dude who was running the session, should have NO DOUBT remembered who I was. ManLosch even said "Yea right. He'll remember. Stop. You should have more faith in people."

So we get to the hotel, we are helping to check parents and kids in, and there he is. Let's call him "Jimbo Jones." So Jimbo finally sees us and walks over. He sticks out his hand for a handshake to me and says "Hey, Jimbo Jones....." I TOTALLY shook it too because I wanted Ryan to see this and drink it in. I wanted to see exactly how long it was going to take Jimbo to recognize me. Then he looked at Ryan and looked at me again and said "Wait a minute....." Then he laughed. So with all the "Where do you guys live now?" and "How are you guys, wow it's been 2 years huh?", he walked inside the meeting room. I kicked my legs in the air Superbad style and said "PAY UP!!!!!!" Ryan pulled out $10 and I told him "Well, just buy me dinner instead."

Here is what makes this even worse. I put together the student recruitment video while I was working there with my mentor, Nikki. We worked on it for 12 hour days sometimes. And MANLOSCH IS EVEN IN THE VIDEO. YES. My husband's face shows up everytime an admissions officer plays that video, which is MULTIPLE times a day sometimes. That recruitment video was supposed to be Jimbo's project, but it got dumped on me and Nikki. All that.....and he shook my hand. Eh, at least dinner was good. :-)

addendum: text conversation between me and Nikki
me:Hey Nikki, so I'm doing the UM Info Session. And I bet Ryan $10 that Jimbo wouldn't remember who I was. Aahaha. Guess who won?
nikki: Noooooooo
nikki: Like didn't remember name or anything?
me: He stuck his hand out to me and said "Jimbo Jones." I almost shit my pants. Then he looked at me and Ryan and was like "wait a minute.."
nikki: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dry Heave Donuts

I had to work the early shift this morning at work (um, I still am, but needed to express my true disgust before continuing on with the day) so I decided to grab a few Munchkins at Dunkin' Donuts to enjoy with my mid-morning coffee.

On my way out the door, this guy stops at the door and begins dry heaving. He looked a little like this:
This is before 7am, mind you. He's dry heaving and then spits up a little at the door......

AND WALKS OUT.

The guy waiting for his breakfast sandwich is frozen, staring at the guy, unable to move because he was pretty much thinking the same thing I was, which was "Whaaaaaaat just happened? And why did he walk out and leave his %#&# at the door of a food establishment?"

I hopped over the mat and walked out the door. Will I still enjoy my Munchkins today? Hell yea. Because I paid for them and I'm going to eat them. But if I see that guy again, buddy, I swear I'm going to grab your neck and force your face down to the mat to clean it up with a napkin attached to your tongue.

Get it together.

It's Great..To Be..A Miami Hurricane!

HOLY SH*$!!!!!

I'm dedicating my 100th blog post to my Canes. Just beat FSU, and it was a battle. If I stayed awake for the whole game, then yea, it was an AMAZING game.

FSU? Yea, go put it somewhere. We needed this win. Whatchu' know 'bout them Miami boys, Hurricane, Ballin Boys?!

It's all about the U.

(stay tuned for your regularly scheduled blog)

Stuff Lexi Likes #2

And my list of things I like out of the "Stuff White People Like" book continues...stay tuned, because people...we WILL find out just how white I am.

#25 Manhattan (And Now Brooklyn Too!)
This is a little unfair only because I grew up too close to NYC to NOT love Manhattan. I practically lived there, so yea. This one is a given. I will ALWAYS love NY. Take that and put it in your "cawfee."

#33 Marijuana
Right. Nuff said.

#36 Brunch
I EFFIN LOVE BRUNCH. OMG, I LOVE BRUNCH. Stop the madness and pass me a mimosa please. Or like 5 mimosas. It's the perfect blend after you've been out all night drinking your liver down the tube and you wake up feeling like crap. You say to yourself "Dang homie, it's already 11:30am. I could totes eat some breakfast, but damn that roast beef is lookin fine too." Enter brunch. The perfect union of eggs, bacon, crab legs, alcohol to ease the pain of the previous nights alcohol, rice, shrimp, and sandwiches. Maybe some fruit. Damn. Lovin it.

#42 Sushi
Yum. Sorry. So good. I love sushi. Especially that Ebi Mango sushi me and ManLosch had about a week ago. Well the sushi ManLosch ordered and that I practically inhaled.

#53 Dogs
According to the book, in the white culture, dogs are considered training before having children. Hell yea! Because I've had LoschDog for over 5 years now and still no kid. So guess where MY brain is? Yea, on going to brunch.