I Laugh A Little Inside

Did alot of baby shopping today. Second stop was Target. Since my bladder is the size of a pin head, I had to pee again. So as I waddled to the ladies room and picked a stall, I noticed that a little boy was in the restroom waiting for his mom. He was very chatty but this is what made me laugh:

• Mom: Mommy's tummy hurts a little, that's why we're still in here, ok?
• Son: OKAY!
• Mom: We might need to get Mommy a new tummy.
• Son: Hmm. Like one with a baby in it??.
• Mom: No, no. Not that kind of tummy.

The woman was essentially broadcasting to the entire ladies restroom that she was taking a shit and it was a bad one. But all the poor kid wanted was a little brother or sister. I thought it was funny that he thought you could just buy new tummies and that babies are an accessory with said tummy. Is this what I have to look forward to?

Cat-astrophe

This past weekend, ManLosch and I were back in the burbs of Chicago for a baby shower thrown by his mother and sisters. It was a quick trip. Our flight on Sunday was leaving at 7:45am and one sister (Erica) actually lives in Chicago, so we stayed with her and her hubs (James) Saturday night.

Well her and the hubs have cats named Guinness and Bailey. Very adorable cats; I love using his pointer to project that little red dot everywhere and watch them go crazy. At about 5:15am Sunday, ManLosch helped me get in the shower, as their tub is a little high for a fatty preggo to get into. Once he helped me in, he walked out and thought he closed the door, but left it cracked. About 10 seconds later, there's a shadow walking between the curtain and the liner and I screamed. It was a cat. A cat had jumped onto the tub. I started yelling, "RYYYYYYYAAANNNNN!!! THERE'S A CAT IN THE TUB, A CAAAAAT IN THE TUBBBBBBB!!!!!!" He ran in just as the cat was rounding the corner to actually JOIN me in the shower. With the cat successfully shoo'ed away, I was able to finish up. Apparently I had also probably woken up half of their apartment building. :-) James is convinced that it was payback for the laser pointer.

Oops. Sorry about that Erica and James. I hope your neighbors forgive me.

The Big 3-0

Dear World,

I am 30 weeks pregnant. This shit is INSANE. Freak out begins soon. I can't believe I'm in the third trimester let alone 30 weeks. I remember when I was anxious just to get to 20. And now I'm already 30??? Jeeeeez. I keep chanting "almost there, almost there" especially when I find it hard to not be out of breath and just finish a sentence. But yea. CRAAAAAZY.

Sincerely,
LaLosch

Childbirthing Class

Yes, I went to the childbirthing class. It was not the goodies. Ryan and I went this past Saturday from 9am-6pm. Do they show the gruesome videos? Yes.
Was it long and boring? Yes.
Did we have to change diapers on ridiculous dolls? Yes. (They also had some weird marker drawings on their heads)
Did my heart melt from its "i hate all kids" icy state? Mmm, not really, BUT I did some see newborns that were born the day before the class. It was kinda cute and touched my icy little heart a bit.

But the best part? The best part was when the husband of one of the preggos started smoking. Around all the other pregnant women there too. Just lit up like it wasn't a problem. Um HELLO?!?! I wanted to smack the shit out of him. If there's one thing I'm adamant about during this pregnancy, is not being around smokers. I have the occasional soda, and indulge in my favorite sandwich sometimes. But cmon buddy, your own wife is pregnant and you just smoke around her day and night? FAIL.

By George I Think She's Got It!

Got what you ask?

THE CURE FOR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

Recently, while at the Dollar Store (one of my most favorite places EVER), we stocked up on some disinfecting wipes. They are called "Brillo" wipes. As I pulled one wipe out the other night, I couldn't help but notice what kinds it viruses it claims to kill. Ladies and Gentlemen.....these wipes claim to kill:

HIV-1(also known as the AIDS virus)

SARS

Avian Flu

Athletes Foot

Don't worry, it also boasts that it'll kill alot more than just that!!

There are also instructions on the container on how to go about killing HIV. Please wear gloves while you do it (that's what she said) and a face mask.

The Dollar Store has been carrying our answer to all the great medical mysteries.The freaking Dollar Store. So go out and get you some Brillo Disinfecting Wipes. They will change your life. Perhaps find your soul mate for you while you clean your kitchen counter. Maybe dunk one in your cup of tea to get rid of that nasty cold. I'm JUST sayin......

Ummmm Yeeaaa

There's a commercial for something called a Fuzzoodle.

https://www.buyfuzzoodles.com/Default.aspx

Uhhh.....so.....it's a pipe cleaner....that serves the same purpose as a Mr. Potato Head, but Mr. Potato Head is way cooler????????

Hm. Well then. I feel as if my time has just been wasted. Thanks.

Help Out Our Friends!

If you're interested in doing a good thing, all I'm asking you to do today is vote. What is it for, you ask? Well I'll tell you bitches. It's for research and helping babies with cystic fibrosis through Pepsi. Now I know what you're saying. "I don't even LIKE Pepsi and Lexi wants me to vote...." Yes. Yes I am. The top 2 ideas receive $250,000. Right now, this idea/grant is only at #3 and voting goes for another 8 days!!! You know you want to vote. Just for me. If you do, I'll be super happy and it'll make utero BabyLosch happy for another baby. It's like some weird baby kindred spirit thing.
So just do it. I'll love you forever and ever and ever. And did I say ever? :)

Commuting Sucks

I hate driving to work. That's really about it. They've been doing construction on my street since June and it backs up traffic and people get rancid and then I get extra rancid and it's just not a good situation for anyone. I'd rather stay home and work.

I Don't Know You But...

I watched the Today show this morning while eating breakfast. I just turned the tv on to check the weather very quickly but then one of the stories caught my eye. A woman named Erin Wood just recently lost her husband. They are expecting their first child in November. He steered their car directly into the crash to take the entire impact of the crash while shielding her. He sacrificed his own life for his wife's and their unborn child. They didn't even know if it's a boy or girl.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39146785/ns/today-today_people/

So I'm watching them interview her and I just start bawling. ManLosch comes in the living room and asks what's wrong and I just point. If you read the article, then you'll read that they found heroin, cocaine, and marijuana in the car that caused the crash. It also killed the 2 guys in the backseat. This story just stuck with me all day. I re-told it at work and everytime I did, I almost started crying again. She mentioned that she just tries to keep eating right and taking care of herself to distract her from the pain of losing him; that he'd want her to take care of the baby. Enter MORE tears.

Erin Wood, I don't know you, but I am praying for you and your family. Your husband reminds me of mine, which probably made me cry even harder. I can't even imagine that kind of pain and I know there's nothing anyone can say or do right now that will make it better. But please know that this stranger over here in Boston has you and your baby in her prayers and hopes that others will too.

Meet the Doctors

There was an event tonight at the hospital where I have all of my prenatal care done. It was called "Meet the Doctors" so you can meet all of the doctors in this group of physicians that can possibly be on call when you go into labor. Obviously, one of them is your OB/GYN, but they like you to meet the others and ask questions. It was a pretty packed auditorium. ManLosch was unable to come with me, but it did not stop me from going.

I did send him a text that said, "Wow there's alot of preggos here." He said, "Um, what did you expect?" I said, "Well I know but still. It's alot." You could definitely tell you were in a room with all pregnant women because all you heard were snack bags opening and crunching and the guzzling of water. It reminded me a little of this:

Also, it was like being in high school again. All the pregnant women checking out each other's bellies, wondering how far along the other one is, pointing, mumbling. It was a bit much for me. WAY too much estrogen for me. I'm way too much estrogen for me, so imagine being in a room full of preggos. I overheard this conversation happen:

Wife: Ok, watch my bag, I have to pee.

Husband: Wait, where are you going?

Wife: I said I had to pee.

Husband: AGAIN?!

Dear husbands.......YES AGAIN. If you haven't gotten in through your skulls yet that we pee alot and can't help it, I don't know what to tell you at this point. ManLosch doesn't even glance twice when I'm up and about peeing like 20 times a day. I don't even know if I have control of my own bladder anymore. Anyway, back to this event. It was actually nice. Except for the 2 year old kicking my seat behind me (get used to it huh?) and screaming the entire time. Otherwise, it was informative and I feel alot more confident about the network of doctors we may be dealing with come December. I also got to talk one-on-one with my doctor which was nice because I L-O-V-E her. She gave me some advice until I see her again. 

It's amazing how time is flying by!

109 Days Left

Either the horrible vent at work made me sick or ManLosch did. I started to feel it Friday afternoon and I've been down with a cold ever since. Sunday was the worst of the days and today at least, I feel a little better.

I've got 109 days left to go! I can't wait for this kid to get here. I don't think I'm cut out for the pregnancy business. I am very excited to be a mother though. So even though everyone loves to give me their advice with "Just wait until the kid gets here, you REALLY won't get any sleep," I kinda don't care. Not that your advice isn't welcome, but I already know this. It still doesn't negate the fact that RIGHT NOW, the child in utero kicks me all day and all night and prevents me from sleeping as well as I used to. But again, I already know that my life is going to change dramatically. Maybe because I've been through so many life changes already, that I am welcoming this change with open arms now. Yeah I'll be tired and cranky and not as available. But I knew all that would happen. So suck on that world.

Otherwise, this Labor Day weekend has been slightly uneventful, mainly due to the fact that I've not been feeling great. ManLosch will hopefully finish the crib next weekend. And we may have more updates later, but well...we'll see how everything goes this week. :-)

Been On The Quiet Side

Yea, that's me. I've been fairly quiet on the blogging end. I've just been either really busy or really tired. Such is life. Everyone will move on and get over it!

So let's see, updates...updates. We've started our registry. I don't even think we have everything, but I dunno. If we don't, I'm sure someone will tell us. ManLosch has painted the baby's room as well and we've already moved a ton of furniture. We've given away alot and it's amazing how far we've come since April. He also started building the crib this past Sunday. He designed it and is building it from scratch with one of my co-workers who is helping. He's loving it.

KidLosch is also now in the business of kicking me. ALOT. Like all night and all day. This is one restless little child, just like his/her dad. It woke me up at 3am the other evening and we both decided it was a good time to snack. Might as well take advantage of the time I'm awake, right? As I type this blog, the little one is kicking me. In the beginning it was cool, but now I'm like "Will this kid EVER stop?" I think the answer is NO. Baby thinks I'm a punching bag.

I'm also gaining weight, which is good, but I'm not used to all this extra weight, so my body is freaking out just a bit. I'm still tiny though, don't expect to see a Fatty McLosch. But for ME....it's more weight than I'm used to. Ah well. Almost 16 more weeks to go!!

Getting Ready

I was on a rampage yesterday. I was a cleaning machine. I basically cut my closet in half and filled 2 more bags to donate to Goodwill. I stored clothes that don't fit right now, and my closet looks AMAZING. When I usually clean like this, I play some music. ManLosch was also cleaning. We're basically getting ready for the little one and the slow beginnings of the baby room is happening.

So we're cleaning, right? And I realized I had some Miami songs on. And one of our "get ready for a football game" songs came on. This time it wasn't "In The Air Tonight." It was good ole' Trick Daddy with "Let's Go." Sorry, but I have a feeling that you may only truly understand that if you're from the 305 or went to UM. Because really, no one walks around boasting a likeness of Trick Daddy. So we started to get pumped up for some UM football. I even tried on my jersey (which barely fits over my belly now). But I couldn't help it. I did the unthinkable.

Yes. I brought the stereo closer to my belly and played Trick Daddy for my baby.
I HAVE TO START KIDLOSCH EARLY!! It's great...to be...a Miami Hurricane!! I heart college football.

Random Thoughts While Driving

I was driving to work yesterday and ended up behind this shuttle bus thing. The company is called "M&L Transit." I've seen this before and it's got a picture of a lion on it. So as I'm getting closer, I have this revelation.

That revelation is "OMG, it totally means Mouse and Lion Transit."  That totally makes sense. Well I get a little closer and I realize that the lion's mouth looks like he's wearing lipstick. His mouth is all red. So........uh...did he eat the mouse??

I google'd this company and found out that it stands for "Michael and Lisa," the people who started the company. So what's with the red mouth on the lion?? Anyone?

Why Do I Watch This SH*T?!

Please someone tell me why I'm watching "Inside Edition." I've never actually watched it, but decided since I was being lazy tonight, I'd just leave the tv on where it was when we turned it off this morning. And I just had to share these headlines and stories with you:

"Who is that celebrity walking the streets in a tiger mask? We'll tell you!!"

"Why are there zebras running loose in Sacramento? We'll tell you!"

"Why is this beautiful model walking with a bandage on her leg? Kelly Schwartz, winner of Frank The Entertainer's reality show (side note: ya'll VH1 has got to stop with these reality crap shows) had the worst experience ever shaving. She cut herself shaving and a fly landed on her leg and laid eggs in the wound. Over the course of a few days, she was wondering why she was in so much pain and the lump was getting bigger and more red. She went to the emergency room where the doctors couldn't believe what they saw!"

Ya'll....I am NOT making this shit up.

Shorty Got Low....

I spoke to my 7 year niece today on the phone. She also loves her some Uncle ManLosch. More than me I think. My sis-in-law just had another bambina, so check out the convo between us.

• Me: Hi Kayla, how are you?
• Kayla (my niece): Fine! Where's Uncle Ryan??
• Me: He's not home yet. How do you like being a big sister now? How many days have you been a big sister?
• Kayla: I like it. She's 7 days old now. She looks like my Mommy.
• Me: Wow. Look at you big sister. You look like your Mommy too. Did you get her any presents?
• Kayla: Nuh uh, I look like my Daddy! Yes, I got her..um..one of those..um, one piece things. And uh, something else.
• Me: Did you get any gifts too for being a big sister?
• Kayla: Yes! I got Applebottom jeans from my Daddy.
• Me: Did you get boots with the fur too??
• Kayla: Ummmm......huh???

Paint!

ManLosch is slowly understanding my gradual nesting behaviors and we will finally buy some paint this weekend for KidLosch's room!
Happy lady over here. :-)

Otherwise, I know I haven't been around much, my mom has been in town these last 2 weeks, helping out, cooking, etc. She leaves tomorrow, so life returns to normal for her and for us. She'll be back in October for the shower. I know Jordan will miss having the company. She brushed him daily and he loved waking her up by nosing open her door every morning to lick her.

Back to the norm...

LaLosch Faces Her Fears

I have alot of irrational fears. One of them being that my baby will be bald when it comes out (i DID say irrational......). But another one of them involves the public restrooms. So if you don't want to read about my restroom fears, stop reading now.

So as all you women know, whenever we need to use the ladies room, there is usually a line. So I was waiting to use a stall in the Natick mall yesterday and one opened up and the one right next to it opened up too, so my mom went in that one. The minute I stepped in, I was hit with waves (not just one), of other-stinky-person's-poop. Like this women must have just eaten at the food court upstairs and then exploded. So I could barely breathe and then it hit me: Wonder if the next person who comes in after me thinks it was ME?!?!?! Because I didn't do it, all I have to do is empty my pea sized bladder (thanks KidLosch). It smelled so bad that it wasn't even like the next person could ignore it...it was lingering even in the toilet paper.

So I came out and so did my mom and SHE said, "Man, the woman before me blew it UP!!" I said, "No that was the girl before me in my stall." And we literally argued back and forth about whose stall was worse. We came to the conclusion that they were also a mother-daughter duo who instead of tinkling, just ate Sarku Japan instead and duo dumped. But still, people might think it was me! I will reiterate that I KNOW this is irrational, but you can't tell me that you haven't thought the same thing.

I Have The Best Friends

So far, this has been the best reaction to the news:

Why I Love My Mom

I love my mom because she buys our kid things like this:

New Yorkers. What can I say? (not much since I technically am one)

I've missed her and I'm glad she's always gotten my sense of humor. :-)