Your Basic Wednesday Rant

Okay, so my driveway opens up to a side street, but the side street intersects with a major road, and I live pretty much right on the corner of this major road and side street. There is also a bank and a Dunkin Donuts right across the street, so there are cars coming out of their little parking lot every morning. Usually it's no big deal.

Until today.

There was a ton of traffic and it was taking me longer than usual just to back out. There is the occasional nice person who lets me back out, but usually everyone is so concerned about themselves that they don't notice or don't care that a car twice the size of theirs is trying to back into the street. So finally there were no cars on the street, just a few cars left in line waiting to turn out of the Dunkin lot so I started backing out, as I HAD been doing. I realize that as I'm backing out, this BITCH is coming out of the parking lot and she gave me the NASTIEST look. Like I shouldn't have backed out of my driveway.

She even kept looking at me as she was turning onto my street, and I couldn't move the car because this whore was inches from mine. So once I was able to throw the car into Drive I pulled up right behind her and she started looking at me through her rearview mirror. I pointed to my driveway and mouthed, "I can back out of my own driveway you skank!" It might have looked like "I ca bah oh my own driveway you stank!" I think I may have mouthed some other obscenities (if ManLosch were there he would have said "Stop it" or "Shh! She could be crazy"). I was not having it this morning. This woman was not the goodies.

Brought To You By The Letters M-V-H-S

Thanks to Marcus, my brother from another mother (even though sometimes I wonder...I think we came from the same mother), for sharing this. Should I silently say a prayer that I got out when I did years ago? Probably. And I'm not so sure that it should be silently. So while we should all be fighting for the content of the curriculum and hiring teachers, instead MVHS gets to worry about the actual SCHOOL being structurally sound......nice.....

http://www.wpix.com/news/wpix-mt-vernon-wall-collapse,0,6698688.story

I will admit, that I let out a loud laugh...maybe in disbelief...

Literary Kind of Day

I got up nice and late today. The intention was to go to Brookline Booksmith to buy some books and then make my way to Macy's to take advantage of the bra sale (because let's face it ladies, buying bras isn't fun but it's gotta be done, even for the Itty Bitty Committee that I'm on), and then go to the Nikki Giovanni event I had tickets for.

What happened? I made it to Brookline Booksmith and wondered why there was a line outside. Oh well, I thought to myself and walked in. I started perusing the Bargain Fiction section and when I look up again, fuckin' CHELSEA HANDLER is staring me in the face. I nearly shit my pants. I guess she was doing a book signing there. But you couldn't take pictures and all she was doing was signing the books. Now, if you know me, you know that I am thin. And I get offended when people tell me "You need to eat a cheeseburger" or something of the like that's very hurtful. I'm naturally thin and I hate it, but it is what it is. But Chelsea Handler is not meant to be stick thin and she looked like someone sucked the cheeseburger out of her and gave it to her bodyguard instead. Her cheeks looked sunken in and she just didn't look as pretty and fresh. I dunno. Either way, the bookstore immediately got crazy and luckily ManLosch met me there before I busted out my Mr. Miyagi moves.

We were both starving, so we got some lunch at Coolidge Corner and then hopped on the train back into downtown to go to Macy's. Well the train broke down right before the Park Street station (which is were we needed to get off, and when I say right before? I really mean like a few feet from the station). I didn't want to push the time, so we skipped bra shopping (oh darn) and went straight to Cambridge, where I bought the Nikki Giovanni book I wanted (but already read) before heading to the event. Her readings and conversation were just excellent. Drool. Even ManLosch enjoyed it and she had everyone laughing and feeling like we were talking to our sistafriend. And the best part? She's amazingly beautiful, signed my book, and let me take a picture with her.

Yea I'm cheesin. SO WHAT?!

Oh yeah, and the bra shopping? We attempted it after the reading with no luck. Tomorrow maybe.

I love books.

Belmont Shore

• ManLosch: Okay, so you start low.
• Me: Huh? (screaming from the bathroom as I brush my hair) What did you say?
• ManLosch: And then you gotta slowly bring it up, you know? Bring it up 'til you pump hard, you gotta own it.
• Me: Oh My God Ryan, are you teaching our dog how to fistpump?!?!
• ManLosch: Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Things I'm A Fan Of This Week

• "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" by Rebecca Skloot: What an amazing read. If you've ever been interested in race relations, science, and/or medical ethics, pick this book up. Very personal, so great.
• Jim Halpert.
• This amazing weather we've been having here in Boston.
• Chocolate Chips (ask Esperanza).
• My amazing superdog, also known as LoschDog

• "Ghosts N Stuff" by Deadmau5
• "That's What She Said" jokes with Ryan
• "The New York" magazine
• Making yummy cookies with strawberry jam
• Sleeping with the windows open, letting fresh air in
• An affectionate cat named Tux at PetSmart

It's Still All Good With Tiger Woods Ya'll

I was listening to the radio this morning in the car (mistake). I was listening to a morning show where they started talking about Tiger Woods and his return to the Master's and some other scandal/affair/sexting/porn star. The guy says, rather emphatically, "Just shut up and play golf! We don't care how many women you've slept with, just play golf now."

Ohhhh ok. So NOW it's ok to stay out of this man's private life? Granted, once you place yourself in the spotlight by becoming a world famous golfer, you DO kinda close the door on having any privacy. But he did ask that we respect this time he's going through with his wife and we didn't. Everyone had their fun and their Tiger jokes completely and ONLY at his expense. No conversation could be had without making a Tiger joke. But now that he's returning, now it's alright to stay out of his life?

They went on to talk about one of the porn stars and I think maybe mentioned that she was going to attend the Masters or essentially do something to give him space or privacy. The radio commenters then said, "You are a porn star and have no right to make a moral statement! You have no standing in the world of morality. You have hard core sex for a living, therefore you have no basis to make such a statement." WHHHAAAT?! Talk about making a very judgemental statement. To say that she doesn't have a stand in the world of morality...because she's a porn star? And only because she's a porn star?? So because she chooses that as her profession, how she chooses to make money, that makes her immoral? Liking a shit ton of unadulterated sex makes her immoral? I'd say maybe killing people for a living and not feeling bad about it makes you closer to immoral. I dunno, that's just a guess.

I've boycotted this station before because of a racial remark and I'm getting closer to just completely boycotting it PERIOD. There's the right to an opinion and free speech, but I feel like you cross the line when you start calling others immoral and judging them as immoral, as if your Boston accent is any more appealing than a porn star having sex with a celebrity. Right.

Time to bring the iPod out for the drive into work.

Is The Perfect Day Possible?

No, I don't think so, but today was probably one of the closest I'll ever have to the perfect day. Who'd ever think that I'D have something close to a perfect day, which may have happened because I got up earlier.

We went to 8am Mass this morning because I didn't feel like fighting the crowd. I'm not the best Catholic and I will NEVER admit to even being a great one, but I do make an effort to go to Mass EVERY Sunday. I remembered last year's 10am Easter Mass and it was awful. Everyone who decided to come to reclaim their lost Catholicism came to Mass that Sunday and only that Sunday for that entire year. So ok, if that's the only Mass you're going to go to? At least go to one that isn't the most popular one. Instead, this year, I decided to take matters, or Jesus, into my own hands and attend the 8am Mass instead. And it was awesome. It wasn't too crowded and I wasn't feeling the breath of the person sitting next to me because they were that close.

Right after we got out, we went to breakfast at our normal diner and we didn't even wait! And the guy behind the counter is starting to remember us, which kinda made my day. Because I may have kinda made up my own name for him and started calling him Uncle Rob. Yeah. Irrelevant.

We were done with breakfast and Mass all by the time we would have gone to Mass normally. So we went grocery shopping. And we were done early. So we took LoschDog to the Arnold Arboretum for the day and wore him out. We laid around in the grass, took pictures, talked to other dog owners, and wore ourselves out. We got some of our favorite Jamaican food on the way home and spoiled that by eating ice cream as another stop on the way home. We then spent the rest of the afternoon baking batches of cookies, making dinner (roasted chicken) and lunch for the week.

I....am..exhausted. But happy. I had a good day. I had an amazing day. Will it last? Probably not, but I will take it for what it was worth and at least remember that I had a great day today.

Sexy Black Guy and One Asian Kid

Once again, I rode the T this afternoon into downtown Boston and 2 guys get on the train. They introduce themselves as "Sexy Black Guy and One Asian Kid" as their stage/show names. This was AFTER I got shoved into the doorway of the train to make room for them to do their show. I looked at them and the Sexy Black Guy said, "Why the dirty look, ma?" I looked at him like "REALLY? You HAVE to ask?"

I'm going to plead my case one more time: when you ask people to move on a crowded train just so you can do some flips in the aisle to some Michael Jackson music, DON'T expect a warm reception. So the Sexy Black Guy says, "Oh c'mon. I moved all the way out here from LA, and I want to feel welcome in Boston." To which I semi-loudly replied, "Well you came to the wrong city for THAT." Really, you came to Boston for a warm welcome? HA!

I just can't seem to shake the dancing guys on moving trains.

The Adventures of Lenti Losch #6

I've got nothing.
I try to curb headaches with some caffeine, which you can find in soda. But because I can't have a soda, I have to be creative in finding ways to ease the tension headaches and the migraines. I was on a medication to help with my migraines, but I just haven't been that great at taking it. So like usual, I prefer some Pepsi, some Excedrin, and a dark room.

But noooooo. Not yet. But it IS Good Friday. And Easter is on Sunday. Overall though, I don't really feel like I got much out of Lent. I think was better disciplined about not shoving junk food and meat in my face on Fridays, but other than that, I dunno. I didn't write enough notes because I've been too exhausted with work and not being in town. I'm making excuses. I have mixed emotions about this year. Is that possible? Can I have mixed emotions about something that isn't even ABOUT me?

Help!

Simple I Love You's

I'm so tired that I can't even wrap my head around anything. So all I want to say is thank you for reading my blog. Those that follow me, those that tell others about it. I love you. That's really about it. I love you much. :)

This Rain Has Taken Its Toll

Dear Mother Nature,

You were beautiful and awesome and loads of gorgeous. However, the last 2 days of rain in the Boston area have caused quite a stir. We are tired of the rain. There has been flooding and the freakin National Guard came in. This is getting out of control. I have friends with flooded apartments and they aren't happy. It's a mess out there.

Granted, I DO feel lucky that my apartment has remained dry. So I can't complain there. But I want to wear my spring skirts in the spring time instead of wearing them in the pouring rain and hoping that it will make me feel like it's spring. So listen up whore, this has got to stop. There are many unhappy people right now. Please consider this letter as my official request for the rain to stop and the sun to come back.

I expect this to be effective March 31, 2010 moving forward. My rain boots want to go back into the closet and my suede heels want to make their triumphant return.

Thank you in advance for your consideration,
LaLosch

I Didn't Abandon You, I Promise

Wow, I never go this long without blogging. I apologize. It's been a whirlwind of events the last few days. And there was also a reason why I hadn't been blogging.
First, for those that don't know yet (and I think most of you already know), ManLosch got a job! He's working downtown for an architecture firm. I'm extremely happy for him and it helps relieve a little stress you know? In addition to the new job, I got a promotion at work. So things have DEFINITELY been busy for the both of us, but in a good way!

Right after all that good news, we flew to Chicago to surprise FamLosch! Which means I will be updating the other blog very shortly. His dad was the only one who knew, as he picked us up from the airport. But the look on his mom's face was priceless. His sister's verbal reaction was "What the hell????...." It was a good time. It was a quick trip, but I hope everyone enjoyed the time while we were there.

(this is Tara, otherwise known as T-Lo. check out her link above. DO IT.)

Okay more updates later I promise. I just didn't want everyone thinking I forgot about them.

Massholes

I absolutely LOVE Bay State drivers! OMG. I love them. It's like I think when I get in the car every morning, "Man I can't wait to get cut off by another Masshole today. I can't live without it. I just can't."

Now that you're done inhaling that load of sarcasm, I was driving this afternoon to get my hair done after work. I have to drive into downtown Boston. Normally I'd just take the T, but because I only had 30 minutes, I wouldn't make it, so I drove and planned to let ManLosch take the car since he works downtown now. I get on Storrow, traffic is moving...and then it stops. We're crawling and I curse silently, because when a black woman is tryin' to go get her hair did, there are always a million and one things trying to prevent that from happening. There was really no space between the car in front of me and our car, but a lovely Honda decides to squeeze itself in between us with no turn signal; no indication at ALL that they wanted to merge into my lane.

So I took a photo. Because I figured, anyone who saved the money to have someone actually place a "In Loving Memory of Michael Jackson" decal on the back window of their car deserved to be recognized as the most awesome Masshole of the Day. Oh yeah, and that's TOTALLY a silhouette of MJ dancing too. Mmmhmm.

Stop Yer' Cryin...Maybe...

Every time I travel by air, I always have this problem: crying babies. I never seem to get away from crying babies or unruly children. Ones who kick my seat the whole flight, the ones who need an infinite amount of diaper changes (and the parents think its ok to do so on the tray table....ewwwww?????!!!). Oh and there are the parents who weigh 300 pounds and don't think they should buy a seat for their 2 year old. 2 year old children are NOT lap children.

So I'm reading CNN.com this morning and I come across this article, which I think you should read before responding to what I will inevitably ask you all.

 Fly and cry

Read it? Okay good. So I TOTALLY get it. I can be sympathetic and I definitely don't have a problem with the parents that really do try to calm the child down. I'm usually wrapped up in a book, my iPod, or my own fear of the plane crashing, that I'm not always paying attention to the wailing child in the back. The problem is, I've come across parents who just let the child cry, kick, and throw tantrums. The parents who EXPECT 200 other passengers to just suck it up and be ok with a crying infant. So maybe my biggest problem is that I (the childless passenger) should be expected to not have a problem with 2 1/2 hours of continuous crying, because, well, babies cry right? On the other hand, I DON'T agree with the other extreme, where everyone else thinks babies should just be banned from "..planes, movie theaters, restaurants, and any other public place for that matter." Uh hello? That's too much. I may joke about that, but in all seriousness, people with children have the right to go out and live a LIFE. Do WE expect them then to just sit at home in the dark caring for a crying child?

I think it comes down to compromise. Please don't allow your child to kick my seat on a full flight when I just want to enjoy my InStyle magazine and if I see that you're trying to calm the kid, then I can definitely be more sympathetic. If you aren't, I WILL say something and it will probably piss you off. But I feel that it's fair. That's really only on a plane, where I can't get off and take the next one (like a bus or train) or sit somewhere else in a restaurant if it was THAT bad.

What do you guys think about this? Do you fall in either extreme?

The Adventures of Lenti Losch #5

I can't wait to have a soda again. I just want a Sprite even, I don't need the dark soda with the caffeine. I'll take a Sprite. Lemon-lime....bubbles....mmmmm.

I'm also writing more notes. I'm not even half-way there, and I totally did NOTHING last weekend, but I'm trying to move myself. Motivate myself. Everyone likes something about 40 different people right? I'm starting to wonder if I actually do.....hmmm. I at least think I know 10 people with 4 different things about them that I can write. Right? Jah jah. You're down with it.

I don't know why, but Lent just isn't feeling me this year. Or maybe I'm not feeling it. Which is bad. I totally chose to be Catholic so I need to figure this out.

The Random Moments

Last night after getting an awesome soul food dinner, ManLosch and I were driving back home and I started talking about my grandmother and all of the random things she likes to say. I then remembered, very clearly, the moment where she denounced Catholicism in front of ManLosch and myself. ManLosch and I had been dating about 8 months at that point and she was talking about the priests who had "bad-touched" the little boys, which led her to say how horrible Catholics were. She did not know that ManLosch was Catholic. So I said, "Uhhh, Grammie. Ryan is Catholic." We sat there in silence. She said, "Oh well, they ALL aren't bad, but I mean, you can't ignore the little boys."

Those kinds of moments I remember very clearly; like the facial expressions, the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach, just EVERYTHING about it. It's a random moment, but I remember it very clearly. We all have those kinds of memories. Here are just a few more very clear memories I have:

• Coming back from my first off campus party in my freshman year of college, drunk, in lust, and peeing in the bushes outside of the Wellness Center because I couldn't hold it anymore.
• My first UM vs. FSU football game. Wide Right. It felt like 100 degrees out in my band uniform. I remember that being my first noon game in Miami in polyester. I nearly fainted from dehydration. I can still feel the sticky t-shirt on my back, waiting for the bus to come, laying in someone's lap after the game because I felt so horrible.
• My baptism, confirmation, and First Communion as an adult. My Miami family came out to support me. It's the only time when you get bibles as gifts as an adult.
• The time I fell down the steps of the Merrick Building during the rain with my Burger King breakfast. Luckily the only person who saw me was the cleaning lady and I think she was little too stunned to ask if I was alright. And I fell on my ass. It hurt. Alot.
• The day I picked LoschDog up from his surgery. He hobbled out to me and never looked so happy to see his mama. I honestly cried when I saw him.
• One afternoon in high school where my best friend Marcus found a campaign hat in my mothers closet and decided to wear it to the store. While crossing a bridge, he pretended to wave and people started honking. They thought he was seriously campaigning.

And I'd totally share more, except my laptop is a piece of crap and it took me a REAL long time to post this. What other moments do you remember like yesterday?

Gorgeous Weather

It's 10:17am. I refuse to stay in today, therefore, I'm going out to enjoy this beautiful weather. If you're in the Northeast, you should too! So go out, soak up the sun while we have it, and then come back and tell me what you did today, okay?

Have a beautiful, sunshiney day. :-)

Who Wins?

I was on the bus coming from Harvard Square tonight with ManLosch. It was full, not packed. There were some empty seats in the back. Well in the back there was an older woman sitting and a younger woman with her iPod on and it was REALLY loud. All of a sudden, the older woman turned to the younger woman and says, "Excuse me but can you PLEASE turn that down? Miss? Miss? Can you please turn it down?" The younger woman says "Uhh." The older woman says "I have a really bad headache and your music is too loud." The younger woman says, "Well why don't you just sit over there in THAT seat?" The older woman says, "Because I'm sitting here. I'm not moving."

I think the younger woman turned it down very little. So I asked ManLosch what he thought when we got off the bus. I said, "Who do you think wins? The woman who had the headache or the iPod wearer?" He said,"I side more with the woman with the headache, but only because I don't like obnoxious music that's really loud when I'm on the bus." I said, "Well aren't they BOTH being a little pretentious? Because I think of it this way: if I were the iPod wearer, I honestly wouldn't care that she had a headache, sounds like a personal problem. But on the other hand, there's the rule for the T that says you can't disturb other people with loud music, etc. I get both sides." I think in the end though, I agree with ManLosch. I've also been the victim of someone listening to their iPod WAY too loud and it was super annoying especially when I can't hear my own music.

So what do you think? Who wins?

The Break-Up, Part Trois

Regular yoga night tonight! I got a nice spot in the back. A girl who seemed normal enough placed her mat next to mine. After about 15 minutes, I said to myself "What's that smell??" It seemed to go away for awhile. Then it came back, so I'm like really..wtf is that smell?

Oh hey, I recognize that smell. It's that all too familiar scent of alcohol and shame. The whore next to me had come to yoga from her Saint Patty's Day festivities. Barf. Thanks for that. Shortly thereafter in Extended Child's Pose:, I heard another woman groan to Jill(yoga instructor), "How did you know I needed that? Oooooo.....oh yea....mmmmmmm" WTF?! She just helped her fit into the pose better but instead she sounded as if she were having the world's best orgasm (yea I was a tad jealous).

It's ok, I had my chance soon thereafter. During Pigeon Pose, I needed a better place to rest my head. She walked around and told me in the most soothing voice "You can already place your head on the floor, always do what is comfortable for you" and she totally rubbed my back. In that moment, I totally fell in love with my yoga teacher. I imagined bringing her home and introducing her to ManLosch as my new lady lover ("ManLosch meet Jill. We fell in love during Pigeon Pose) and then realized that I wasn't in love so much as really relaxed. After having a REAL good session tonight, she ends with "Namaste" and then busts out with the information that this will be her last yoga class at the BSC.

WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?! Huh? Wait, Jill. C'mon. Let's talk about this. I-I thought we had a connection! She then said that she got a full time job so she won't be able to teach the class anymore, but took our email addresses for a possible retreat and may teach a class in the future. I was in shock and mad because she's so awesome. She was talking to another woman as I was about to walk out and then waved at me and said "Thanks so much for always coming to my class, did you sign up on my list?" I said yes and asked a few more quick questions but the woman she was talking to was giving me the death stare as if I PURPOSELY interrupted their conversation. Look whore #2, she talked to ME. You aren't the only one in the room.

Why Jill? Why? I'll do anything; I'll come on a different night, I'll even swim in the pool and mess up my hair. All to get you to stay. Please?? :-(

Is The Colonel In???

No he's not, but maybe this man was trying to summon him with his narcotics usage. Oh Kentucky, you never cease to amaze....

Drunk, High Dad leaves baby in oven....