Weather or Not...

You can apparently report the weather anyway you choose here....

I Can't Get No Respect...

We're driving to NY and talking about how we're going to come up with the prototype of our new GPS system.

ManLosch: So for the baby voice, it should cry louder the farther off course you get. Remember those things, that went off when you didn't feed it?? GigaPets!

Me: Yea, I totally had one of those.

ManLosch: Hmm, I just lost a little bit of respect for you.

I Am Still Not My Hair

So I did it. I finally cut my hair! I have been growing my perm out since March 2010. I was getting my hair done last Thursday and I asked my hairdresser how much of my hair was still permed. She showed me, and told me how short my hair would be. She said, "It'll be like a little china bob. It'll be really cute." She said "bob" and I got scared. I mean, it had been awhile since I had SOME kind of a perm.

I manned up and just told her to chop it! And let me tell you, it felt SO great. It was cathartic in a way I never knew. I felt free. It's a feeling that is almost indescribable. There's nothing holding me back now. I can style my hair anyway I want and do anything! My black women, I don't have to be afraid of the pool anymore!!

So, hi. My name is Lexi Losch. And I've been perm free since 5/12/2011.

I Said, Are You Gonna Be My Girl??

Happy Mother's Day to any and all beautiful strong mamas out there. This is my first Mother's Day, even though I DID get a secret present from ManLosch last year for being totally knocked up and secretly glowing (with morning sickness....but whatevs). So I wanted to dedicate today's writing to all the mama's out there who have helped me over the last few months:

My mom and mom-in-law: no words. Can't explain. Just yes. Thanks. Ha. I mean...you get it right????

Michele F.: my beautiful sis-in-law. Thanks for letting us visit you in Vegas nonetheless and helping us with Jovie. And thanks for understanding my need to go to as many Babies R' Us' as stately possible.

Nikki S.: another lovely sis-in-law. My nieces are so gorgeous and thank you for the words of wisdom in my first few days of motherhood. It was appreciated more than you know.

Emily F.: you are one of the strongest mamas I know. You endured IVF, blogged about it, and had 2 beautiful twin baby girls last August. You still manage to be crafty and clean your house, all while juggling and watching Harper and Stella. You've let me call you and bitch and moan and you were one of my strongest supporters, and for that, I love you pinky-toe tent buddy.

Catherine M.: you gave me lots of tough love. Like grow-a-set tough love. But you also truly understood how fussy Jovie really was and didn't just brush me off like alot of people did. Thanks for the vacuum tip. My house was clean for weeks!

Jeannie M: also another strong mama who apparently can still garden while her awesome baby naps through it all and eats like it's going out of style. My baby is just the exact opposite, but you are awesome!

Carolyn B.: Delaney is gorgeous and we'll all still be helping you find a cure for C.F.! She's a tough cookie and is doing so fab because of your love and nurturing.

Jamie G.: Thanks for that over hour-long conversation in the early days! It was just nice to hear the "yea he did that too, and I promise it gets better" side of things. And I've always remembered you telling me about J.B.'s "firsts" that the daycare didn't tell you about. So when someone DOES tell me? I punch them in the teeth.

Sam B. (when are you changing it to Y?): you are THE most hippie mother I know. And your son is awesome because of it. Thanks for the advice in the beginning and telling me not to worry. You were a true breath of fresh air when I needed it.

Rebecca "Borics" P.: you let me cry on the phone in the first few weeks and told me not to give up (even though eventually, I kinda DID a little, lol) but I followed your advice and I've been a much better mother because of it. And Jovie is even telling me that too while she screams from the living room. :)

Trev. P: even from NY, you always checked in on me to see how things were. To feel that kind of support when you have NO idea what's going on anymore is probably something I can't really put into words.

I know I left some of you mama's off of this list, but don't worry. There will most likely be another installment of shout out's and love. I wanted to share some of the love of received today with all of you because I could not be more grateful that I have a wonderful husband and a gorgeous daughter. Lexi Losch has a kid. Holy sh*t.

Happy Mother's Day. :-)

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

We have satellite radio. Aerosmith comes on a lot. When it does and I'm alone in the car, I can't turn. I feel like ManLosch would know that I turned off an Aerosmith song in favor of something more Top 40ish.

Don't get me wrong. I like Aerosmith. I even agreed to spend our 2 year wedding anniversary at an Aerosmith concert. But sometimes I wanna listen to Flo Rida, not about love in an elevator.

Don't take this the wrong way ManLosch(or Steven Tyler). Much love. K???

Reflections, Genuflections, and Buddy Christ

This year for Lent, I gave up swearing. How did it go? Not so good. Not so good........
BUT...

I did make an effort to silently pray more. I also made an effort to really take time to think about things that crossed my mind. Sometimes I found an answer and sometimes I didn't. But I forced myself to confront issues in my mind that I tucked away figuring that at some point, someone would pick up the trash and dispose of it (kinda like trash day in your town). Lent is a time of self-denial, forgiveness, being kind to others, etc. And Easter? Well Easter just isn't on Sunday people. It's a SEASON for the church. It's 50 days long. So I saved a ton of money buying Easter candy a week after Easter Sunday because it's dirt cheap. But I digress...

I wanted to share with you some of the things I thought about or did during Lent. I'm not sharing this as a way to pay myself on the back or anything of the sort, but clearly I keep a blog, which means I enjoy sharing my random thoughts with random strangers. So here we go:

• I tried very hard not to judge my cousins, the seasonal Catholics. Because when I go to church I don't always pay attention you know? So it's not my place to judge you based on the fact that I only see you at Mass on Easter Sunday and Christmas Eve. But I WILL judge you based on the fact that you took up 2 parking spaces in the church parking lot.
• If you are familiar with the Profession of Faith, you know that we recite that Jesus was crucified under Pontius Pilate. But I FINALLY paid attention to the reading of the Passion (right?! snap.) and it's kinda not true. I mean, I get that he was crucified while P.P. was governing, but he totally said that he didn't want anything to do with the crucifixion and that he washed his hands of it. He told the Jews it was up to them. And they were all like "do away with Jesus." So I feel like I'm professing the bended truth.
• The old guy at church that gives Jesus a thumbs up after he's done doing the sign of the Cross? Love him. It's like he really thinks Jesus and him wear BFF necklaces or something.
• You can't trust everyone. As much as I'd like to have 100% faith in people, I've realized that I've been burned in the past. I prayed on it a little. I realized that I should still have 100% faith in people, but that having trust in someone would take a bit more effort. 
• Nothing is more important than family. I would do anything for my baby girl. I go mama crazy if anyone says something rude to my husband or if someone accidentally bumps into Jovie's stroller. I also realize this when I get stressed out about work or something else. I remember that when I see Jovie's toothless smile at the end of the day, nothing else matters really. As long as I can provide for her and ManLosch, I'm alright.
• Things I ponder during Mass: Did Jesus have more than one pair of sandals? Did he have a barber? How pissed was Joseph initially when Mary just said 'Oh hey cutie, I'm preggo and it's not yours?' Also, wow, what a man to raise the son of God. Props.
• Please don't regurgitate bits of your Jeezit into the wine. It's nasty. I get that we take the body and blood of Jesus, but not all together at the very same time.
• I started a journal for Jovie. I write in it a few times a week about things I've done, things she's done, and just general crap. My mom started one for me when I was in middle school and then gave it to me the day she dropped me off at college. Reading her entries about me and things we did are great. They made me laugh and cry. I want the same for my daughter too. It's an amazing reflection tool.
• I know I need to go to confession. I really do. What's keeping me from going? I confess my sins during prayer at church, but why am I so hesitant to pony them up in a dark booth?

That's totally not even everything that went on in my little brain this season. I want to try really hard to be a better person you know? I want to leave this Earth knowing that I made people happy and brought joy into their lives (which is why I like to make you all laugh). This isn't just a Lenten/Easter project. This is like, a whole Lexi makeover. Get ready!

In Which I Do Not Care

This morning, people were late coming into work.
Want to know why?

Because they got up at the buttass crack of dawn to watch the royal wedding. You were late to work because of a wedding happening in another country.

I'm sorry ya'll, but I don't get it. I was so SICK of the coverage on this wedding. Every single morning on the morning shows, it was "Kate's hats, Kate's weight...blah blah blah." I don't care. I'm sorry. I just don't get the infatuation with a wedding happening in the country that OUR country fought so hard to get away from. Here's what I don't mind though: I don't mind the actual wedding. The union between two people who love each other; That part of it is cool. But now that I have a 4 month old baby who doesn't sleep, I'm SHO as heck not getting up at 4am to watch a wedding. I wouldn't get up that early to watch a family wedding.

Know what I DO care about? The fact that we're getting raped at the gas pump. The fact that we're polluting our planet and slowly making it uninhabitable for our future offspring. I was talking to a friend about it yesterday after work and at work today and he made a good point though. He said that with all that shitty stuff happening here, it's kind of nice to say "Hey look over here!" When he put it that way, it made more sense. Like the shiny object to distract you from the fact that someone just told you that your puppy got hit by a car.

Anywho, maybe we'll get back to reality sooner or later. For now, I'll waste my time watching All My Children. Oh wait, that's not real either....damn it.

Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes I read CNN online right before the work day starts. Today, in particular, I read about the storms that hit the South. It was a fairly lengthy article, but what caught my eye the most was the way the writer decided to end his article:

"The storm also unleashed as many as 80,000 chickens in Pickens County, Georgia, after four huge coops were destroyed."

Really??? That's all you could come up with to end this story???

Assumptions at Downtown Crossing

Yesterday, I was at the Downtown Crossing T station to head to the airport to meet my sister-in-law who is here to watch Jovie for the week. Jovie was sleeping in the Baby Bjorn and a nice Chinese woman started talking to me. She asked me how old the baby was. She then asked "It's girl?" I said it was (cmon, her ears are pierced now, get with the program please).

She then said, "Oh, light skin. You mom?"

I knew this would happen. I knew the day would come when someone would question whether or not Jovie was my daughter. It happened a little more subtly at the Park Street Station once (hmm..I'm gathering a theme here). But this was the first time someone has blatantly asked me. I always told myself that I'd remain calm when it happened because well, people are people. I did try. I told her that I was. She then said "Oh. Portuguese?" I was getting increasingly agitated. I said "My husband? He's white." She said "Oh. So you black. He white. Good." GOOD????

So what if she wasn't my biological daughter? I was carrying her and protecting her with love. Is it "good" because my equation to her now made sense as to why my daughter is so light? Jovie popped her eyes open, and then at that point, I was so annoyed, tired, and frustrated, I just got up and walked away. I know it shouldn't frustrate me. But it does a little. It does bother me that only because she has light skin, would someone assume she isn't mine. She damn sure looks like me. Her mean attitude is definitely mine. What if she had darker skin? Would she not be as beautiful in the eyes of others?

I know. I need to get over it. And I have. But still. Just feel me, ok??

Breathe (2am)

• Me (in response to a song Grandma Losch is singing to Jovie): That song was in the bomb episode of Grey's Anatomy.
• ManLosch: Yeah?
• Me: Yup. When Meredith is pulling the bomb out the body and then slowly giving it to the bomb squad dude. He then walks out and when he's halfway down the hall....BOOM!! Pink mist.
• ManLosch:Uh wow. You know almost every song and when it happened during Grey's Anatomy episodes. What was the pink mist again?
• Me: The Anesthesiologist is telling the paramedic, played by Christina Ricci, that the bomb squad refers to you as pink mist if you are holding a bomb that explodes. That's what your body becomes.
• ManLosch: You might know a little too much about Grey's Anatomy.
• Me (karate kicks and punches the air): PINK MIST!!

Sitting Shiva

Well ABC. You did it.

You cancelled "All My Children."

Are you happy with yourselves? Because I am devastated. You better make now through September the best episodes ever made EVER by a daytime network EVER. I'm in total shock. I am currently mourning at my desk.

Erica, Tad, Opal, J.R., Cara, Jake.....I will pay tribute to you. The drama will never end.

Martha Stewart Ain't Got Nothin!

Hear ye, Hear ye. I'd like to welcome a friend to the blogging community. His name is Ryan, we work together, and he just started a blog.
(Hi Ryan!)

So what is his fabulous blog about you ask? Well I'll tell you. Food. Beautiful, delicious food. He loves to cook (and I love to eat) and has started chronicling his journey into the recipe world. And he's serious about it too. Bought new placements and plates and everything.

So check it out. It's called "A Food Lover's Porn" and can be found on my blog under "Visual Crack For The Soul." I can't look at the blog while at work because it makes me hungry, so welcome a fellow blogger and scamper on over to his site. Yes. Scamper.

Lexi Creates an Alter Ego

I don't even know if I can say that I CREATED one. It has been slowly forming itself and yesterday, it reared it's ugly head.

Meet Stabby Storm.

She is the other side of me who apparently wants to go apesh*t on the medical staff at Mount Auburn Hospital and start overturning trays of needles Hulk-style. She is the side of me that emerges when someone bumps into my babies' stroller and doesn't say excuse me. She is the side of me that will hurt a b*tch if they ever hurt my baby or my husband. 

I've noticed her emerging over the last few months, but yesterday took the cake with my fiasco trying to get a 5 minute chickenpox vaccine. The ordeal lasted an hour and 15 minutes making me even later for work. Stabby Storm emerged and asked the woman at the desk why it was taking so long for someone to give me a shot; if they were extracting the virus from a damn chicken in the back. Yes.

She has arrived.

Jesus and Buckeyes

ManLosch and I are at Mass today and somehow, we're always on the same page...

• Priest: Let us offer one another a sign of that peace...
• ManLosch (turns to me and kisses me): Peace baby.
• Me: Yea, peace.
• Couple with brand new baby 2 rows in front of us: Peace. (the guys turns to us and waves) Peace..
• Me: Peace. (catches a glimpse of his Ohio State shirt)
• ManLosch: (turns to me with a face) Uhh yea. That might be a problem.
• Me: Yea. Totally not cool. No peace.

Why I Love My Mom

My mom sees Jovie's 1st zerbert video on her website. She leaves a comment. This is her comment:

If you somehow still don't get the humor, please look at the last line.

Back to Work

Soooo I'm back at work now. BUMMER.

My first day back wasn't too bad. I did cry Sunday night, and it took me a bit to get out of the house yesterday, but I did it! And when 5:30 hit and I was still in a meeting, I said "Uhhh...yea, my uh-" And everyone said, "Yep, Jovie." I bounced out of my chair PRETTY quick and rushed home. I was greeted with the most beautiful toothless grin I've ever seen.

Who AM I now?! :-)

I Got Sucked In

Yes it's a sad state of affairs. I watch "All My Children" now.

Don't judge me.

I love this show! And guess what? I have a friend who watches it too, so we always talk about what's happening. Look here's the deal: it's like Grey's Anatomy, only it's on EVERY DAY! I love it. It's beautiful. This is what happens when you're home alone with an infant for 14 weeks. You go crazy. I got tired of talking to myself and only getting spit up as a form of conversation from Jovie, so I sought an outlet. And that outlet is AMC.

Go on. Give it a try. There is so much weird, dirty drama that you'll say "Wow. My life is great" or "Ooo where did she get that dress from?" So in addition to fake drama, I get style ideas to hide my little belly pooch.

You know you want to think about it. It's ok. I won't judge you. Come back and tell me what you think. :-)

Day 15

Five Things I Need To Say

1. How did we end up the way we did?
2. The solution that helped your baby may not help mine. I just need your understanding sometimes, not telling me what is best. What's best is what's best for MY baby.
3. If I tell you to do something, please just do it. It's rare that I tell someone to do something, and sometimes, when I "suggest you try" something, it really means do it.
4. It makes me sad that I've barely listened to music the last 3 months. Yes, I know it's for a reason,  but it still upsets me.
5. I'm a skinny bitch. Get over it. I've always been thin and I always will be. I can't control it. It's genetics. Now stop calling me anorexic or too thin and take a look at your own damn body. I don't call you fat do I? No because I'm not insensitive and I probably think you are beautiful anyway. So stop making me feel like I don't take care of myself and that I'm not beautiful and perfect the way God made me. I don't need to eat a hamburger. I need you to STFU.

Day 14

Five Ways To Win My Heart

1. Cook dinner for me (preferably something with seafood and I'll be hooked).
2. Actively listen to what I'm saying and respond appropriately.
3. Ask me to marry you (I mean cmon, what'd you expect)
4. Kick my chair, rub glue on my arm, and call me a fartface.
5. Make me laugh all the time. Even in my sleep.

Day 13

Five Ways To Make You Cry

1. Say you don't love me anymore.
2. Tell me that no one in my trifecta of men would ever date me.
3. Trip me and let me fall on concrete.
4. Knock me up and watch the hormones flow.
5. Failing at anything.

Day 12

Five Bad Things About You

1. I'm extremely stubborn.
2. I have a hard time forgiving those that have really wronged me.
3. I'm still not too sure about this whole motherhood thing.
4. I laugh at others expense (not all the time, but c'mon when you wear a zebra print catsuit and you weigh 400lbs, it's like asking for commentary).
5. My patience is always thin. ALWAYS.

Day 11

Five Good Things About You

1. I'm an extremely supportive friend and I love being there for my closest friends if they need me.
2. I put others before me a good chunk of the time (which I guess could also be a bad thing).
3. Creativity is a large passion.
4. I make people laugh (sometimes inappropriately).
5. I actively work hard at trying not to judge people. It's hard, and I'm not perfect. But I do make a solid effort to remember that everyone has their own story. 

Day 10

Five Things You'll Never Do

1. Skydive.
2. Tell someone I love them/like them if I don't.
3. Cheer for the Red Sox.
4. Drink Smirnoff Ice (too much in college and it's not that good).
5. Raise a family without dogs.

Day 9

Five Things You Want To Do

1. Write a book.
2. Go to Australia.
3. Figure out how to be a good mom.
4. Serve at a soup kitchen in the next few months.
5. Be a guidance counselor for high school kids.

Day 8

Five Things You're Known For

1. The girl who loves to dance at weddings (someone once mentioned hiring me as entertainment..don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing).
2. Doing the Elaine dance at work at random moments during the day.
3. Turning my lips inside out (yea you don't want to know).
4. The girl that somehow ends up in funny and strange situations, thus giving me strange and somewhat hilarious blogging material.
5. My love of shoes. LOVE LOVE LOVE SHOES.

Day 7

Five Things That Make You Hyper

1. "Come on Eileen." That song makes me happy and makes me want to shake it all over the house. And I usually do.
2. Good juju.
3. Caramel Macchiatos from Starbucks. Especially after 9 months of being pregnant. MMMMM....
4. Receiving chocolate covered strawberries and spa gift certificates in the same day!
5. My trifecta: Patrick Dempsey, John Krasinski, and Sam Bradford. Again, ManLosch is aware of my relationship with all 3 and is fully supportive.

Day 6

Five Things You Do When You're Bored

1.  Write (blog, journal, essay, whatever).
2. Read (yea I'm a total nerd).
3. Pretend like I have money and shop (more like window shop, but it's ok).
4. Eat (because I'm still tiny even after having a baby and I don't gain weight, so it's fun)
5. Take pictures. I'm not great at photography, but it's still fun to go outside and take pictures of random things.

Day 5

Five Signs That You're NOT Into Someone

1. When I ignored your whistling and kept walking? And then still ignored the "Ay yo Shawty!!"?? Yea. I might not be into you.
2. I don't make eye contact with you. That's pretty basic.
3. I don't cook for you. Ever. Sorry dude.
4. I don't share my Pepsi with you. EVER. (this one is pretty huge)
5. If I didn't make a baby with you (or at least practice making a baby with you), then I'm probably not into you. Yep, I said it.

Day 4

Five Signs You're Into Someone

(well this would be from about 7 years or so ago....)

1. I ask them to put together furniture because I'm retarded when it comes to building anything.
2. I might share some deep deep secrets early on because I feel a sense of trust from the beginning.
3. I make it a point to be around them as much as possible...most of the day if I can. :)
4. If the person can hold a conversation with me OUTSIDE of online social networking, then yea, I might be into you.
5. I'd agree to attend a sporting event with them. HEY! I'm not a huge sports fan, so if I'd agree to attend anything outside of college football, you should know that you're pretty damn special.

Day 3

Five Ways You Break The Ice

1. Talk about the shitty weather up here in Massachusetts.
2. Talk about the fact that I used to live in Miami. For some reason, people find this extremely fascinating. It's not like I used to deal drugs or live like "Miami Vice" or anything.
3. Make a joke about anything. I find myself to be a humorous person, so I try to make jokes whenever I can to lighten a situation.
4. Talk about latest books one has read. I always find it interesting to see what people like to read and if they don't, why they don't like to read.  This also can lead into writing and other creative interests.
5. Ke$ha's latest awful song. C'mon, she's AWFUL!!!!!

Day 2

Five Not So Basic Facts About You

1. I don't like the edges of sandwiches or the ends of subs, so please don't take offense if I don't finish the sandwich you made for me.
2. I was raised not to eat pork. I had pork bacon when I was a freshman in college and never looked back.
3. I had a hamster my senior year of college given to me by my friend and sorority sister. We named him Shoobie Squitch. He turned out to be a very angry hamster. He then decided to live in his outhouse and got too fat to get out. Yes, that is where he perished.
4. I don't really like getting manicures. It makes me uncomfortable. I prefer pedicures.
5. I used to like super fruity drinks, but now I just prefer Jack and coke. Maybe because I've had too many of those fruity drinks and crappy malt beverages in college that I can't even stomach them anymore.

Day 1

Five Basic Facts About You

1. I was born in Mount Vernon, New York and I should have been born in Queens.
2. I lived in Miami for 7 for years and I miss it terribly, except for our awful neighbors that even our next door neighbor called "marielitos." She was Cuban herself.
3. I gave birth to 7lb 2oz little girl on December 14, 2010 and surprised the hell out of everyone because everyone thought I was having a boy.
4. Even though I've lived in Metro-Boston for 3.5 years, I am still a Yankees fan. RedSox can suck it.
5. I was in marching band in college. I met my husband, my godmother, my daughter's godparents, and my best friends in marching band.

15 Days, 5 Challenge

This seems interesting, so let's see if I can do it!

15 days. 5 challenge.

Day 1. 5 basic facts about you
Day 2. 5 not-so-basic facts about you
Day 3. 5 ways you break the ice
Day 4. 5 signs that you’re into someone
Day 5. 5 signs that you’re NOT into someone
Day 6. 5 things you do when you’re bored
Day 7. 5 things that make you hyper
Day 8. 5 things you’re known for
Day 9. 5 things you want to do
Day 10. 5 things you’ll never do
Day 11. 5 good things about you
Day 12. 5 bad things about you
Day 13. 5 ways to make you cry
Day 14. 5 ways to win your heart
Day 15. 5 things you need to say

Judy, Pick Up The Sock

Did you ever watch "Friends?" If so, do you remember the episode where it was Phoebe's birthday and everyone was late to her birthday dinner? Rachel and Ross accidentally lock Emma in the apartment and his mom Judy brings the baby with her to the bar at the restaurant because Rachel can't be away from her. The entire time, Rachel is watching the fact that Judy is NOT watching the baby. She snaps at her and says "Look alive Judy!" and when Emma drops her sock, she goes crazy while in the middle of giving Phoebe a birthday toast. So Phoebe yells at Judy, "PICK UP THE SOCK JUDY, PICK UP THE SOCK!!"

As a new mother, I feel EXACTLY like this. Anyone else who is holding my child or just touching her makes me anxious. If Jovie is drooling and no one has cleaned it up in 5 seconds, I start shaking my leg and mumbling to myself and then I just grab the baby myself. I can't help it and it drives me insane. I admit that sometimes I'm even like this with ManLosch. I mean, I completely get that we're new parents and we don't know everything. But I do know this: Jovie Sophia Losch is OUR baby. Colicky, refluxy, possible milk allergy Jovie is our daughter and while we may not know everything, we DO know our daughter. And right now, that's all we need until everything else figures itself out. So if you've ever held/cared for Jovie or you might in the future, take heed. Look alive and pick up the sock.

I Am Not My Hair..Or Am I??

Many of you know that I've been growing out of relaxer. I've had it relaxed for some time now and decided last March that I wanted to go back to my roots. It's been an interesting journey because I have NO idea what my hair will look like once I finally chop off all the relaxed ends.

Here's the thing..I'm getting impatient now. I'm at the point where I want to chop it or relax it all again. I can't stand the wait. I asked Kai, my hairdresser, how long it would be now if I cut the relaxed part off and it'd be considerably shorter, but not horrible. I want a change, but I don't want a change...if any of that makes sense.

HELP! What should I do??

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica

With this wonderful thing called instant Netflix, I've started watching full seasons of "The Office." I never fully realized how brilliant this show is (not to mention how Jim Halpert can be my baby daddy anyday...yes ManLosch already knows). Reminds me just how dysfunctional our workplaces can be. I typically DON'T blog about work, for the obvious reasons. One can never be too careful. However, I have enough material from my job that would make the writers at "The Office" blush.

While watching an episode today, I also read an article in a magazine that addressed one of the most interesting workplace questions, "Is it alright to have a work spouse?" There were 2 different arguments, for and against it. I'd be interested to see that debate go on and what others might have to say about it. I definitely think both sides have valid points though. And yes, I added this part because of Pam and Jim. :)

State of the House

This evening, the Losch's bring you the State of the House address. (applause)

Everything sucks. There is no sleep. There is no sanity.

That is all. (applause)

Yes...I Have Survived...

Jovie is one month old! January 14th was one month and wow....what a month. 

What have I learned about being a parent so far?

1. Newborn mittens don't do sh*t. Don't bother wasting your money parents-to-be! While they are only like $4 for a 2 or 3 pack, why bother? The aliens we know as our kids don't even like them and they somehow manage to get them off within 1-2 minutes. Invest in the onesies with the fold overs on the end that act as mittens. Jovie is no match for those.
2. Swaddling works....as long as said child does not get her hands and arms out of the swaddle. Jovie is a mastermind at getting out of the swaddle, so she startles herself awake.
3. Parenthood is nothing like it seems, even with everyone telling you what it will be like. 
4. Never have a real game plan. Babies like to f&^$ sh*t up. They will look at your beautifully crafted game plan and then take a massive mustardy yellow dump on it, all while smoking a cigar and sending their goons after you (okay I made that last part up but it sounded cool...like that boss baby from Who Framed Roger Rabbit).
5. Dogs will either be super pissed and mean or protective and sweet towards new babies. Our dog is the latter. :-)
6. Newborns apparently like to be held, so that sandwich you were gonna make? Nope. Put down the mayo Rachael Ray. That nap you wanted to take while they nap? Not possible with a Fourth Trimester baby because she wants to sleep in your arms.

Look, I'm not gonna lie. This is bad. We're tired and Jovie has reflux. Ryan was only ever used to me crying and he was able to soothe me. When Jovie gets going, there is no stopping her. Parenting sucks. Babies can't tell you what's wrong. Our job from now on is like learning how to be a trivia master, forget being a normal human being.......

And I don't think we'd change it back either. As long as Jovie puts us in the best nursing home with buffet lunches and dinners, that's all we need. :)

Tucson On My Mind

I think it's just terrible what happened in Tucson. Insane and terrible; the closer terror gets to your home, the worse you feel.

So while sitting in Mass this past Sunday, I started thinking. We brought Jovie to Mass for the first time and she was very quiet. Going to Mass is routine, you know? And people find comfort in routine. Father Al told a joke, everyone laughed. It was peaceful. Then I thought, "What if someone just busted through the doors and started shooting?" I mean, it could really happen anywhere, as displayed in Tucson. Just innocent people gathered together for a common cause and exercising their right to support that cause. What would I do, with my newborn daughter and husband, if that happened? Would I freeze in terror? Would I desperately try to save them both? Would I run, would I have hid in the pews? What DO you do?

Everything happens in such an instant and you never know when your life is about to change. Sorry to be all sappy, but you know....what else do I do at church anyway?? :-)

Pony Up

ManLosch was not down with buying me that Costco pony we saw about a month and a half ago. Maybe he will buy me this.....

I mean, if he won't get THIS...I might be heartbroken. Seriously. This one is way better.

All The Crazy

With all the crazy that has been happening, I haven't had any ME time.
(Other parents reading this blog, please do not say the following:
"I told you so!"
"Duh."
"Isn't it insane? You'll never have 'me' time again.")

I already knew this going into the pregnancy. I knew my life would change forever once Peanut came into the world. So the fact that I haven't had much time to indulge my own interests besides watching reruns of "The Office" while feeding a kid and cleaning spit up doesn't surprise me. That doesn't mean it's not driving me crazy though.

Anywho, I miss you all, commentators of my blog. I haven't even commented on 2010 yet or come up with my 2011 resolutions. This will be coming soon, hopefully this week. Mom-In-Law is here helping us which has given us some free time and with Jovie's tummy troubles hopefully settling down SOME, we have 20 minutes here and there to be human.

Smooches amigos.

Birthday Reflections

This year's birthday was just a little different than last year's. ManLosch took us out for dinner last night. This was Jovie's first real time being out and of course I was nervous (yes everyone says not to take your kid out much this early, but our pediatrician said 'what do you think second time moms do??'). We stayed local and went to a restaurant where the family who owns it knows us because we frequent their diner most Sundays after Mass.

The restaurant was crowded but the music was great and Jovie slept the ENTIRE time. The first song I heard was our first dance song so we silently jammed to it. Then we ordered and talked about how different this year was from last year. Last year I was able to fit into all of my clothes and alot of my work friends came over to party. My best friend Marcus and I got drunk and made that lovely "To Be Real" video that I posted. As we were talking about that, "To Be Real" started playing in the restaurant and I kept looking at Jovie to make sure she wasn't fussy. ManLosch kept saying, "She's fine, I promise." Instead of double fisting drinks, I had a small glass of Prosecco in one hand and a pacifier in the other. Last year, Marcus surprised me by coming up from New York and ManLosch helped organize it. This year, ManLosch organized a surprise party for me at the house and everyone brought food and helped with Jovie. I got a $25 Fandango gift card from a co-worker who also said that babysitting services come with the deal so ManLosch and I can get out. Last year, I got tons of liquor, an XS t-shirt from "Glee" and a Flip videocamera. The videocamera is now pretty much the Jovie cam. Last year, I had a nice outfit on and got to go to work and be with friends. This year, I was home in pajamas where Jovie projectile vomitted all over me, the living room chair, herself, and the dog and then peed on me later.

It was funny to look back on just how different last year was to this year. We had a good time talking about it and laughing about the differences. Even though this birthday was dramatically different, I had a WONDERFUL birthday and I definitely felt loved. :-)

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone had a wonderful day with family or friends. It certainly doesn't feel like Christmas but it's not so bad. I think I'm finally getting used to being a real mom now. Jovie is a fussy little girl but then again, she's just like her mom. More to come, but enjoy the holiday!

Where Ya Been?

I've been mothering a child the last 5-6 days! That's right. Preggo fatty no more. I gave birth to a 7lb 2oz little bundle of tantrum named Jovie Sophia Losch. So about 98% of you all were wrong; I totally had a girl. It was kinda funny actually to hear everyone's reactions to the fact that we had a girl.

More updates and deets to come later. For now, I'm just slowly starting to catch up on everything, including my sanity. :-)

Listless Losch

I stayed home from work on Thursday and Friday because well....I about had an emotional breakdown in my doctor's office on Thursday. Everything was fine, checked out ok, but for some reason, as the nurse was taking my vitals and she asked me how I was doing, I just burst into tears. She told me to lay down before the doctor came in and ManLosch rubbed my back while I sobbed. The doctor came in and rubbed my back too, reassured me that it was ok. She recommended working half days until my maternity leave if necessary, but that definitely, I should go home that day. Of course it didn't help when she did the exam and told me it didn't look like I was going to go early. Cue more tears.

My boss has been AWESOME and told me to not even worry about work and to stay home Friday too. Here's what I realized: BEING HOME WAITING FOR YOUR UNBORN CHILD TO DECIDE TO MAKE ITS APPEARANCE SUCKS. I did sleep alot, which was good. But I cried alot too. LoschDog has been great and nuzzling and cuddling with me for the last 4 days. 2 of my co-workers, Ann and Ryan, stopped by with lunch on Friday so I wouldn't talk to the wall anymore. ManLosch has been great when he's home and has taken care of me. He even took me shopping Friday night to buy 2 more shirts to cover my ever-growing belly for these last few weeks and then went to Olive Garden.

I've had no energy and no real desire to do anything but take my ass to the hospital and start pushing. I have dreams every night about labor which also doesn't help the fact that I don't get alot of sleep. But I think I'm safe to finally head back in for these last few days. I like the social interaction of being at work and I feel useful there. Hopefully, I don't go TOO late, but I know, I know. I have no say in that. :)

All I Want For Christmas.....

(besides the birth of my baby?)......is this....

Yes....I want the Obama Chia.

Throwback to the 90's

Our newer car (don't know that I'd call it a new car anymore, but it's almost 3 months old) has satellite radio in it. Just like the regular radio, sometimes there's never anything on that you want to listen to. Driving home tonight, I was tuned into the 90's station. Some of the songs brought back very vivid memories of my teenage somewhat angsty years. Here's what I experienced on the 15 minute car ride home:

"You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrissette: I remember being in middle school. I just bought Alanis Morissette's album on a cassette tape as I was not rich enough to purchase anything that looked like a CD at the time. So I had a hand-me-down Walkman that I loved. My mom and I were living with my aunt and my cousin in their apartment for the time being, so I remember falling asleep on my makeshift bed listening to this thinking "Wow, are women really this angry? And why would she ask a man if he was thinking of her while he screwed another woman? She sounds pissed." I would rewind, stop, hit play....nope, not at the beginning yet. Rewind...stop....hit play. I did this so many times that I went through batteries like it was nobody's business.

Fast forward through time and HOLY SHIT Alanis. You were right. Women really ARE this angry at men sometimes. And it's ok. It's funny how things don't make sense when you're too young to understand what it all really means.

"You Make Me Wanna" by Usher: I was in high school. The year before this song came out, I helped one girl get together with a guy she really liked. The guy I really liked ALOT became taken, but that's another heartbreak story. Fastfoward a year and the guy and girl are having problems. I try to remain neutral. We end up walking home together because we lived in the same area and I needed someone to walk home with. Little did I know, he started to like me, but at the same time, he was breaking up with his girlfriend.....for me (how do we have so much fuckin drama in high school, jeeeeeeez). A few weeks later, we slowly started dating and I was in love. Until the next year when he broke up with me stating the reason, "I'm just not in love with you anymore." He also broke up with me over AOL Chat (remember AOL chat??) instead of being a man about it. It's ok though. He actually turned out to be gay later on down the road (how MUCH later, I have no idea....) and I think he's happily engaged now to another guy. Good for you. You still suck for being immature.


I love little moments that conjure of memories of the past.

Important! Open Immediately!

5 December 2010

Attn: Mr./Ms. Baby Losch:

This is your official eviction notice. You will have 2 weeks to vacate the premises with all of your belongings and management would prefer if you were able to leave earlier.

Reasons for Eviction:
You signed a 9 month lease and you have yet to pay for ONE month.
Utilities were included and you have abused this privilege (entertainment, heat, water, etc.).
Food was built into the rent, however you have not PAID rent.
You keep other tenants and management up during the night with your Dance Dance Revolution parties.
Your expectations of the building are a little too high, considering you don't PAY RENT.
Your field goal practicing during the day has put a damper on other activities.

Please consider yourself on notice. If you do not comply, further action will be taken.

Regards,
Management

Holidaaaaaaay

My company holiday party is tonight and unfortunately, this time, I won't be coming home dirty drunk like I did last year. I had a BLAST last year. But I think I'll have a blast this year too. I'm actually very excited. I was thinking of bringing a flask of apple juice to take shots of apple juice.

I'll post some pictures later, with me and all my preggo glory.

Things That Freak Me Out

There are things that just freak or skeeve me out. Very random things sometimes.

1) People who don't like chicken. C'mon. This is not just a black thing.
2) People who don't believe in using lotion to moisturize.
3) The dude that works at my company who walks around with no shoes sometimes.
4) The women at my company who can't seem to keep our restroom clean and literally not full of shit.
5) Women who enjoy pregnancy.
6) Anyone who doesn't understand the concept of personal space. Please, you do not need to tell me your story 2 inches from my body. Back it up a few feet.
7) 10 lb infants.
8) Lint. (especially on sheets....ew...it's just...ugh....no.....can't do it)
9) Man thumbs.
10) Spiders (or any bugs for that matter).
11) That speck of white spit some people get on their lips when talking and it just doesn't go away and it attaches itself to both lips and stretches, and ewwwwwww. Yea.
12) The notion that dinosaurs could make a return and be really pissed off (more specifically, T-Rexes).