The Poo Files

I went with a friend to her doctor's appointment today at a hospital. So we're getting ready to leave, had  a good appointment, and I turn to her and say, "Melissa, I REALLY gotta pee. You know....yea. I just gotta go." So we're looking for the restroom and we see one. I place her things down in the waiting area and say, "Be right back!" I hustle off to the restroom and when I push the door open, I think to myself, Damn....did I just walk into the 70's? Anyway, still had to go and didn't have much of a choice but between 2 stalls.

One stall was what I called the "Midget Stall." It really was not made for someone 5 feet and over. I opted out of that one. So I stepped back to use the handicapped stall. I open the door, ready to bust a move; I take a step and right before I took another one, I look down and right on the floor, was a little turd. Yes, that's right. There was a piece of poo on the floor, not even close to the toilet. And it looked like it had been stepped on/rolled over/SOMETHING. So I freaked out. I'm screaming, "Why is there shit on the floor of a HOSPITAL?! OMG!!" Because I really had to go, I just sucked it up and squatted on the midget toilet like I never squatted before.

I rushed out, washed my hands, and ran out screaming to Melissa, mostly in fits of laughter and incredulity. She starts laughing and we just start wondering what possibly happened. When I got to work, I shared this story as well, and here are just a few possible scenarios that have been concocted so far:

1) The person really couldn't wait.
2) Know what a dog looks like when it has a small piece of remaining poo in it's fur that it can't get out?? And finally they are able to drop the deuce somewhere? Yea. Maybe??
3) Someone was changing a baby and while wrapping up the diaper, a piece of the poo fell out and rolled onto the floor.
4) Someone was actually in a wheelchair and had some trouble while on the toilet (which doesn't excuse why said turdlet was not even close to the toilet).
5) It was Mr. Hankey.

Please tell me you all can think of something more reasonable than this, because otherwise....why was there poo on the floor of a hospital (and not even in a private room mind you)? Hilarious...yet disturbing all rolled into one small turd.

It's A Bird...It's A Plane....

Nah, it's just me. But you made it to my post and that alone is commendable. So commendable, that I will reward you with a small nugget of truth about me. I'm pregnant.

Let that seep in for a second.

Ready? Okay. Yes, what I just shared above is completely and utterly true. ManLosch and I are expecting a little Losch. A BabyLosch if you will. But we shall now refer to said child as "KidLosch." You will not see pictures of the inside of my uterus otherwise known as an ultrasound, unless you live here, ask, and I can conveniently show you in person. You will not see pictures of my pee stick(s), as I did not even bother taking pictures and besides, I'm not down with that. What I WILL share throughout the next 6 months will be small tidbits of what this tiny little creature is doing to me.

For instance, KidLosch has prevented me from having enough energy to blog like I truly wanted to. I've been EXHAUSTED beyond belief, so the fact that it's 9pm and I'm still awake is a miracle now. Morning sickness is not even real. IT'S ALL DAY SICKNESS. So a big "fuck you" to the person who coined it "morning" sickness. My pants don't fit anymore and I've been subjected to a Bella Band already plus lots of skirts and dresses. My hormonal emotions created alot of unnecessary tears that have evolved into alot of hormonal rage.

Otherwise, I'm still me. Still ranting and raving about stupid people and funny things I see. Just more hormonal, a bigger belly, and a bigger appetite (UltraFeast anyone?). For the few of you who knew, thanks for being patient with me the last few months and for those who are reading this for the first time, thanks for always reading about my random life. :-) Now bring on the next 6 months!!

Dear Black Jetta

Dear Black Jetta,

It is about 8:30 in the morning and I am driving behind you in the garage. You deem it necessary to text on your phone while creeping at 1mph instead of driving in the garage to look for a parking space. I try to speed up to signal to you that you shouldn't be texting, please get out of my way. Instead, you brake to use both hands to text instead.

Jetta, we are now only on the ramp going up to the 2nd floor. This is ridiculous. You are in my way. Why the fuck are you texting and looking for a parking space? I'm not understanding this logic right now. I just want to park my car and get moving. No....no, you're still texting.

FINALLY. You pulled into a space. After 5 minutes of this bullshit. Thanks.You really couldn't wait to pull into a parking space to text? I hope you dropped your phone down a flight of stairs so it cracked just enough to drive you just as crazy as you drove me this morning.

Sincerely,
Girl in the Black Truck

It Happens When The Sun Is Out

No one stays indoors for anything, which includes restaurants and malls. Let me rephrase: restaurants without any outdoor seating. Last night, ManLosch and I partook in a lovely dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. It was a Friday night. NO ONE WAS THERE. We didn't even have to wait. We were probably in and out in about an hour because we barely had to wait for drinks, appetizers, or dinner (took the cheesecake to go). The hostess said, "Oh yea, since it was nice out today, we haven't seen many people in here."

Today so far, we were just out and about, running some errands downtown before I got my hair done. No one was at the Food Court at the Prudential Center. No one was even getting their hair done at my salon!! WTF?! It was SO quiet, so empty. So weird. But again, today was a gorgeous day so I don't blame people for wanting to be out in the luscious sun, WITH a nice breeze too.

Anywho, I hope you are enjoying your Saturday. Smooches.

Do You Know What Today Is???

"..It's our anniversary.....anniversary"

Hey bitches. It's my 3 year wedding anniversary today with ManLosch (audience applause here). 3 years ago today, I said I do (or I will, or Yes, or some other Catholic form of acknowledgment that meant agreement). The priest who married us asked us to write letters to each other and he would use them as part of his homily; take bits and pieces out of it to talk about us. Instead, he surprised us and read each of our letters aloud and it was obviously a surprise to us both and very touching (audience coos). So today, ManLosch, I want to share with you again (and my blogging family) part of what I promised to you back in 2007.

You’ve taught me so many things about life, love, and happiness. You’ve provided for me in so many ways possible. With all you’ve given me, I feel that I must give you something in return. I’m not a rich woman, but I can tell you this; I will re-pay you. I will re-pay you in unconditional love. I will re-pay you with years and years of laughter. I promise to you a spiritual marriage. I will catch you when you fall. I will understand your strive for perfection and support you every step of the way. I will watch the World Series with you, even when the Yankees aren’t playing. I promise you years of joy. I promise you a family. I promise you me. Your love is all I need and I can’t even begin to explain how happy I am today; how happy I am to finally become your wife.

So ManLosch, I wanted to tell you that I'm still in the process of re-paying you, but perhaps with some amendments.
I will re-pay you in unconditional love (Yes, as long as you continue to keep doing my laundry and clean up after me.)
I will re-pay you with years and years of laughter (I think this is a no-brainer. CMON. I'M HILARIOUS. And hot.)
I promise to you a spiritual marriage (When I get up to attend Mass? Yes, of course. But will I stop talking about people AT Mass?? No, sorry. I haven't reached that state of enlightenment yet.)
I will understand your strive for perfection and support you every step of the way (Except when it involves finding the perfect parking spot when I've been hungry for the last 3 hours.)
I will watch the World Series with you, even when the Yankees aren’t playing (Hmmm. Let's be honest. Okay, how about if the Chicago White Sox are in the World Series? Or for some reason the Detroit Tigers pull it together and surprise everyone and end up there? I'll support that.)
I promise you years of joy (Especially when I get pay raises and we get awesome tax refunds.)
I promise you a family (Slow your roll. It's gonna happen. ;-). LoschDog has been an excellent placeholder.)

So see? Not much has changed! Although I still can't understand your incessant argument for why it's ok to keep the vuvuzelas at the World Cup, I'll still watch it with you (with the sound on MUTE). Although you can't understand why I won't pick up my dirty laundry or DO IT, I'll still watch you do my laundry. And although I'm afraid of what a Siberian Husky would shed all over my wardrobe, I'd still get one because you want one. In other words, what I'm saying is......you're alright ManLosch. Let's keep doin' the damn thang and see where it gets us.


 Happy Anniversary Chulo.

An American Mexican

Random conversations that take place right before we fall asleep...

• Me: Remember that movie, "The Land Before Time?" There were so many of them.
• ManLosch: Yea, there were like 8 of them or something.
• Me: 8?! So by the 8th one, isn't it not the land before time anymore? Isn't it "The Land After We've All Been Alive For A Few Years?"
• ManLosch: HA! Yea, but they were trying to uh, find appropriate land or something. And it took them 8 movies to do it.
• Me: Okay, there weren't really like 8 of them were there? Wasn't it like 3 or 4? And the rest just went straight to VHS?
• ManLosch:Probably.
• Me: Remember "Feeval or uh, Fieval goes West?" Or what was that movie with the sad sap mouse?
• ManLosch: "An American Tail!" ::starts to sing:: Sooooooomewheeeeere....out, theeeeeere....
• Me: Okay, we're done. Stop.
• ManLosch: What? I'm just saying. Good stuff.
• Me: Didn't he have a family? What was his last name? Did he have one? Fieval...???
• ManLosch: Gonzalez.
• Me: WHAT?! Um, that was SPEEDY Gonzalez. Wrong mouse.
• ManLosch: No. It was Fieval Gonzalez. He was a Jewish Mexican mouse. ::sings again:: Sooooomewhere.....ANDALE!!!...ouuut, theeereee...
• Me: OMG.

I Got Soul

This commercial alone makes me want a Kia Soul, even though I think the cars are actually not cute.

New Follower!

Hi, I have a new follower! Everyone say hi to Sabrina. :)

And yes, I will catch you up on my life. I suck at blogging these days. I hope you still love me.

How To Sleep In An Airport

Any suggestions on how to close my eyes without getting my shit stolen?

1) Close one eye and keep one eye open?
2) Politely ask a stranger if I can lay in their lap?
3) Make a bed on the floor in the corner with all the stuff I packed and set my alarm?
4) Ask why the flight was delayed and demand a room at the airport Hyatt until the flight leaves, with transportation to and from the terminal?
5) Fart until enough people around me move so I can have the entire area to myself?
6) Close both eyes and just fuckin sleep and pray that my shit doesn't get stolen?

Maximum Boob

So I was going to use this post to talk about how my dog seems to be racist, but instead I have to vent.

So I just so happened to be checking out some friend's photos on Facebook. They were some photos of a wedding that has happened in the last few months or so. I dunno. It actually doesn't matter. Either way, ladies. LADIES. If you normally wear a size 10 and God has blessed you with some boobies, PLEASE do not try to stuff those boobies into a XS dress. This is exactly why I can't find my fuckin' size in any stores. Because of 39FFF boobie women like you. It's not even cute cleavage. It's like "Hey I want to show off my boobs and the best way to do that is by wearing this dress I found in my closet from 8th grade and letting my nips sit right at the edge of the dress, allowing maximum boob."

NO. Not ok. I have some coupons for the Gap if you like. Let's go shopping. And please put down the XS. No one ever said it was easy being skinny (being naturally skinny when you don't want to be). But at least leave my size so I CAN buy a new dress. Thanks.

Transformers 3: Return of the Man Thumbs

So I have this habit of watching movies on actual tv, even when we have them on DVD and I could totally pop the DVD in and watch it sans commercials. Instead, I choose to watch the edited version on tv, which is exactly what I did last night in a tank top and underwear with a plate of meatloaf on my lap (yes I was a happy lady).

"Transformers" was on ABC last night and since I liked it enough, I watched it. I figured I'd only watch it until ManLosch got home, but we ended up in deep discussion about Optimus Prime (which by the way, is a GREAT name for a child). And then I saw them. The man thumbs. I was like, "Wait a minute, Eva Mendes isn't in this movie!" IT'S MEGAN FOX! MEGAN FOX HAS MAN THUMBS. Holy crap.

Lexi's Take on the "Lost" Finale

Honestly, my opinion didn't change. I'm still lost. Lost left me lost. I gathered that people were dead and that relationships between people matter. Other than that, I still have a ton of questions. Maybe someone can help answer why the kidnapping of the children in like Season 2 was so significant, or why women couldn't have babies on the island. Anyone.....anyone?

I dedicated the last 5 years of my life to this show only to be left with alot of unanswered questions. Which I guess makes it a success, because Lost wouldn't be Lost if they didn't leave us confused.

I'm now still going to go with my Muppet theory. They're all dead Muppet Babies now.

Lost Finale

Did you watch it last night?

DID YOU WATCH IT LAST NIGHT?

I don't know what to think yet. Let me do some more research and get back to you. I dunno. How 'bout leaving a ton of other shit unanswered? Jeeeeeez.

Joe vs. A Crappy Education

Welcome to the very first post that includes my father (blogging family meet Joseph Franklin). We had a very animated conversation while I was waiting in the airport terminal today.

• Dad: So yea, she told me she was going down to Texas for her daughter's graduation, from DeVry (laughs).
• Me: What is so hilarious? Why are you laughing?
• Dad: I mean, cmon. DeVry? I didn't go to school, but I'm not that dumb. DeVry?
• Me: It's still an education, stop being so mean.
• Dad: Oh PLEASE. It's like the different between a real chicken wing and a fake chicken wing. You know a fake chicken wing when you get one.
• Me: Um, did you just equate the quality of someone's education to a CHICKEN WING??
• Dad: I didn't equate nothin. I'm just sayin, I can write a degree too and throw it in the trash can for someone else to pick up and say they got a degree.
• Me: Oh my god Dad.

This One Time....

..let me tell you a little story about how me paying it forward did NOT work (and maybe i need to give it more time)....

So I had a nice aisle seat on this flight, from ATL to SA. I sat and realized the woman next to me was not sitting next to her husband, so I asked her, "Would you and your husband like to sit together?" She said, "Really? You don't mind?" I said, "No, not at all." She asked him and he thanked me a few times. I took his window seat two rows up. No biggie.

A woman sits next to me with her baby and her young daughter. I think to myself "It's ok Lex. You always get stuck near the babies, but it'll be cool, no worries." Well we're sitting here, leaving the gate and the baby starts to cry. What I'm about to tell you next may or may not surprise you but it shocked the HELL out of me.

The woman pulls up her shirt and begins to breastfeed her baby. What? Just like that? While on the plane? In front of everyone? Yes sir. It was just out and proud. So I try to close my eyes and take a nap. I wake up right around the drink service, which is perfect timing. The child is asleep. But then he wakes up. Solution? More boob. Oh wait, what's that I smell? His diaper. And it reeks. She'll change it soon right? Nope. Instead, she gives the kid some V8 and crackers to fill up the already shit filled diaper. He fidgets some more. Whips out the boob. He falls asleep for a bit, but wakes up. She proceeds to NOT change the diaper, but give him cold french fries. He cries more, whips out the boob again. Doesn't work. More crackers.

Please, someone help me. I can't handle this anymore. I thought I was being nice by giving up my seat, and I hope pay it forward doesn't forget about me today or tomorrow even. I try to be a nice person. Instead, I got repaid with a diaper full of shit and a random tit in 23B.

Here's a fun little exchange though about this event (that's still occuring as I type this):

• Esperanza: You dummy, quit looking.
• Me: i can smell the diaper too and its NOT the goodies
• Esperanza: they are working...EWWWWWWW.
• Me: Esperanza, I'm NOT! But she's sitting right next to me!! And her tits are big.
• Esperanza: I know working boobs are loud. And planes are little.
• Me: and she just whips it out like solution for all worldly problems, i promise im not staring.
• Esperanza: Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico?
• Me: im looking straight ahead, but it keeps finding its way out.
• Esperanza: LMAO OMG YOU KNOW YOU LAUGHED
• Me: no because all i can do is smell shit and it's REPULSIVE.
• Esperanza: the oil or her boobs?
• Me: i think once she gave him the V8 it turned into diarrhea.
• Esperanza: my first solution would be a didee change. always. smell didee? change.
• Me: but yes, solution for oil spill is HILARIOUS.

airTran FAIL

I'm on a plane to Atlanta and I'm ultimately headed to San Antonio. While lifting my own bag into the overhead compartment, I grabbed my netbook first so I wouldn't have to be all up in the aisle trying to fish for it later. Well, in the process of doing that, I sliced my finger on a work folder I had next to my netbook and it wasn't a little papercut. This was a slice in which blood started to come out rapidly. So I calmly placed my bag in the overhead and called a flight attendant over.

I asked her, "Excuse me, but would you happen to have a band-aid?" She replies, "No, I'm sorry I don't." So I wait and walk to the back to the restrooms to at least wash it off and apply some pressure with a paper towel. While waiting for one of the lavatories to open up, I stare right at a sticker labeled "First Aid." REALLY BITCH? You didn't have a band-aid, yet I'm staring at your first-aid kit????

FAIL.

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mamas of the World,

You rock. You bring kids into the world (even though I think they are snot-nosed little brats) and you even raise when when they are 30 years old and shit. Some of you make awesome lunches and some of you should have stopped sending their daughters to school with warm tuna (ahem...MOM....coughcough). Some of you sacrificed everything to give your kids everything. Some of you raised us by yourselves. No matter what the circumstances, mothers of this beautiful planet, you are loved. Even when we fuck up and do some REALLY stupid shit, we love the hell out of you.

So Happy Mother's Day. You're awesome.

Love,
LaLosch

Maybe Fly List

Okay, I'm sorry, but I HAVE to rant about this. So I'm sure you've all heard about the guy who left the car bomb in the middle of Times Square which started Saturday. He also drove a different car to Times Square before that as his getaway car, but left his keys in the bomb car (wow, dummy). Anyway, on Monday, he boarded a flight to Dubai and was arrested there.

Here is my number one issue with this story.
He was on the NO FLY LIST.

If homeboy was on the no fly list, HOW THE FUCK DID HE BOARD A PLANE?!?! How did he even get that far? And hi, did anyone think it was strange that he paid for his ticket in cash? Yes, well finally, someone thought that was odd and contacted airport security about it, but he was still on the plane. He paid for his ticket in cash, even when his name was on the no fly list at that point in time.

Please everyone. I really need you to get it together. That is NOT excusable. That is NOT ok. That is NOT the goodies. I am a tax paying American, I do my due diligence, I do what I can to help others. Why can't I pay you to make me feel safe? Wait, I WAS doing that but you were just failing at your job for the time being.

Major fail. Rant over.

Is It A Video Game Or...?????

ManLosch and I went to the movies on Sunday. We love the previews. So a preview comes on and I say, "Hmm this looks more like the commercials for the Marines or Navy, etc." As we continue to watch it...oh...oh wait, NO. It's actually a commercial for a video game. We both mentioned how so many commercials these days that are for video games look like it's a recruitment video for the military. It's slightly disturbing.

Actually it's ALOT disturbing. I'm disturbed that we've deemed it acceptable to show games and things we can control like a military commercial. If only we could send soldiers in virtually and fight war virtually, things would be ALOT easier on this country. I'm just not able to accept the fact that video game commercials and military commercials are too similar.

Rant over, I'm gonna stop now. :)

Don't Drink The Water

What a gorgeous day today was! I wore a nice skirt and tank top out, flip flops, etc. Then I get to come home to find out that the governor declared a state of emergency in Massachusetts. We can't drink any water unless it's boiled or bottled. There was some big ass leak somewhere and it's affecting 2 million people east of the city of Weston.

We went to the store just to buy a few bottles, as naturally, we're hurricane survivors, we have no problem boiling water and OMG it was INSANITY. We also did our weekly food shopping but people were so confused about why there wasn't any water. Uh, HELLO? State of emergency usually means people freak out. So when you go to the store a few hours after it's been announced, don't expect to find what you're looking for and then curse the store manager out when you can't get any bottled water. Please crawl back into your hole and don't come back out. Thanks.

Well, this is just a good excuse to start drinking milk now, isn't it?

Why I Call Out Sick

Reasons why I call out sick (and for the record, that was only the SECOND time I've called out sick since working at my company):

• Seeing women named "Cheetara" on Maury. Thundercats much?
• Not having to drive in to work. Yes it's only 2 miles, but the bad drivers are littered along the drive. Very abundant. They drive me insane.
• Watching a woman dry hump Drew Carey on The Price is Right.
• Falling asleep and waking up and it's still daylight.
• Pretending to be interested in soap operas and turn after about 5 minutes of it.
• Tons of soup. Good soup. Yummy soup.
• Watching your dog sleep all day and realize that that's all he does when you aren't there too.
• Crappy magazines that you haven't read because you haven't felt like it.
• Still falling asleep and realizing that it's still only 4pm.

You have to find the great things about the sucky things (like being sick). And a day to take care of yourself is a day that usually can never go wrong.

C'mon Fox

Dear Fox Network,

Why are you being ridic lazy right now and not showing any new episodes of the Simpsons or Family Guy?

Oh wait. I thought it was 8pm and it was only 7:30, so I've been watching a re-run. Oops. Well this doesn't excuse Family Guy. This is ridic. What else am I supposed to watch on Sundays?

On a different note, this also applies to Comedy Central moving "Important Things With Demetri Martin." It was moved to like 12:30am instead of 10pm. Please pass my note of "this is just ridic" along to Comedy Central too.

Thanks cutie,
LaLosch

Is It Possible...

...to be THIS tired???
That's where I've been mostly the last month. I haven't been blogging like I normally do. I've been working alot though. And when I get home, I like to do a whole lot of nothing. Which right now includes not blogging and I feel absolutely WRETCHED about it. I miss you all. Hopefully in the next week I will dedicate myself more to writing. Until then, just know that I miss you and love you.

Smooches,
LaLosch

Pay It Forward

I'm a fan of "pay it forward."  I meant to share this a few nights ago, but oh well, I was too lazy to do it, so suck on THAT.

ManLosch and I went to a book reading/signing again on Saturday night. It was for the author Christopher McSuchandSuch who wrote "Born to Run." Now if you've read this far, you already know that LaLosch is and was NOT born to run and never will be. I can barely walk. So you already know that it was ManLosch's book about the white man running with tribes barefoot (EXACTLY). Okay, the book was a little more than that, but either way, the author was at the Harvard Bookstore so we went (let me also just say that this event was slightly hippie and when I say slightly hippie, I mean there were people who actually wore these to the events):

 

Anyway, by the time we got there, there weren't any seats left but right before it started, this woman walks up to me and says "My husband isn't here yet and I noticed you and your husband were here for awhile, would you like to sit next to me?" So of course I sat and right when I sat, her husband walks in. But she totally let me keep the seat. The reading wasn't half bad either; I nodded off a few times but otherwise stayed awake. When it came time for the book signing, we all got in line and the girl in front of us needed a piece of paper to get some information about some research foot doctor type of person and the author was going to write it in her book, but I ripped a sheet of paper out of my Moleskine (makes me white, I know), and said "Don't write in the book! Here, please take this sheet of paper." He looked at me and said "Wow, I'm so particular about ripping pages out of notebooks like that....that's awesome." Another girl noticed and helped a guy with his camera when he was trying to take a picture but realized the memory card was full. So she helped him figure it out.

I love small acts of kindness towards others. I know I can come across as harsh or one who rants and speaks my mind, but I'm a nice person. I'm a loving person. And one of the things I love the most are tiny acts of kindness towards others. So this week, when you go out, take the extra second and hold the door for someone. Let someone turn onto the major street they've been trying to for a few minutes. Give someone a hug just because (be careful at work..HR and shit). Just have fun and be nice. Let me know how it goes. ;-)

KEmoneysignHA

Unfortunately, I watched SNL last night with the ManLosch. Ryan Phillipe left alot to be desired and oh wait, let's not forget our guest performer, Ke$ha. I think the only thing I did while watching those dreadful performances was stare with my mouth open and maybe laugh at some point.

During the second performance, I turned to ManLosch and said, "Okay, imagine that an 80 year old indigenous tribe member somehow strayed from the group and wandered into the city, tripped on some acid, walked into Michael's for some glow-in-the-dark paint, and then proceeded to find a rave. Got that? Yea. Now take a look at SNL again."

Awful.

Bacon, You're Just Amazing

It's EXACTLY what it looks like.

Yes, it's a bacon tuxedo. OMG.

Yes.

Your Basic Wednesday Rant

Okay, so my driveway opens up to a side street, but the side street intersects with a major road, and I live pretty much right on the corner of this major road and side street. There is also a bank and a Dunkin Donuts right across the street, so there are cars coming out of their little parking lot every morning. Usually it's no big deal.

Until today.

There was a ton of traffic and it was taking me longer than usual just to back out. There is the occasional nice person who lets me back out, but usually everyone is so concerned about themselves that they don't notice or don't care that a car twice the size of theirs is trying to back into the street. So finally there were no cars on the street, just a few cars left in line waiting to turn out of the Dunkin lot so I started backing out, as I HAD been doing. I realize that as I'm backing out, this BITCH is coming out of the parking lot and she gave me the NASTIEST look. Like I shouldn't have backed out of my driveway.

She even kept looking at me as she was turning onto my street, and I couldn't move the car because this whore was inches from mine. So once I was able to throw the car into Drive I pulled up right behind her and she started looking at me through her rearview mirror. I pointed to my driveway and mouthed, "I can back out of my own driveway you skank!" It might have looked like "I ca bah oh my own driveway you stank!" I think I may have mouthed some other obscenities (if ManLosch were there he would have said "Stop it" or "Shh! She could be crazy"). I was not having it this morning. This woman was not the goodies.

Brought To You By The Letters M-V-H-S

Thanks to Marcus, my brother from another mother (even though sometimes I wonder...I think we came from the same mother), for sharing this. Should I silently say a prayer that I got out when I did years ago? Probably. And I'm not so sure that it should be silently. So while we should all be fighting for the content of the curriculum and hiring teachers, instead MVHS gets to worry about the actual SCHOOL being structurally sound......nice.....

http://www.wpix.com/news/wpix-mt-vernon-wall-collapse,0,6698688.story

I will admit, that I let out a loud laugh...maybe in disbelief...

Literary Kind of Day

I got up nice and late today. The intention was to go to Brookline Booksmith to buy some books and then make my way to Macy's to take advantage of the bra sale (because let's face it ladies, buying bras isn't fun but it's gotta be done, even for the Itty Bitty Committee that I'm on), and then go to the Nikki Giovanni event I had tickets for.

What happened? I made it to Brookline Booksmith and wondered why there was a line outside. Oh well, I thought to myself and walked in. I started perusing the Bargain Fiction section and when I look up again, fuckin' CHELSEA HANDLER is staring me in the face. I nearly shit my pants. I guess she was doing a book signing there. But you couldn't take pictures and all she was doing was signing the books. Now, if you know me, you know that I am thin. And I get offended when people tell me "You need to eat a cheeseburger" or something of the like that's very hurtful. I'm naturally thin and I hate it, but it is what it is. But Chelsea Handler is not meant to be stick thin and she looked like someone sucked the cheeseburger out of her and gave it to her bodyguard instead. Her cheeks looked sunken in and she just didn't look as pretty and fresh. I dunno. Either way, the bookstore immediately got crazy and luckily ManLosch met me there before I busted out my Mr. Miyagi moves.

We were both starving, so we got some lunch at Coolidge Corner and then hopped on the train back into downtown to go to Macy's. Well the train broke down right before the Park Street station (which is were we needed to get off, and when I say right before? I really mean like a few feet from the station). I didn't want to push the time, so we skipped bra shopping (oh darn) and went straight to Cambridge, where I bought the Nikki Giovanni book I wanted (but already read) before heading to the event. Her readings and conversation were just excellent. Drool. Even ManLosch enjoyed it and she had everyone laughing and feeling like we were talking to our sistafriend. And the best part? She's amazingly beautiful, signed my book, and let me take a picture with her.

Yea I'm cheesin. SO WHAT?!

Oh yeah, and the bra shopping? We attempted it after the reading with no luck. Tomorrow maybe.

I love books.

Belmont Shore

• ManLosch: Okay, so you start low.
• Me: Huh? (screaming from the bathroom as I brush my hair) What did you say?
• ManLosch: And then you gotta slowly bring it up, you know? Bring it up 'til you pump hard, you gotta own it.
• Me: Oh My God Ryan, are you teaching our dog how to fistpump?!?!
• ManLosch: Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Things I'm A Fan Of This Week

• "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" by Rebecca Skloot: What an amazing read. If you've ever been interested in race relations, science, and/or medical ethics, pick this book up. Very personal, so great.
• Jim Halpert.
• This amazing weather we've been having here in Boston.
• Chocolate Chips (ask Esperanza).
• My amazing superdog, also known as LoschDog

• "Ghosts N Stuff" by Deadmau5
• "That's What She Said" jokes with Ryan
• "The New York" magazine
• Making yummy cookies with strawberry jam
• Sleeping with the windows open, letting fresh air in
• An affectionate cat named Tux at PetSmart

It's Still All Good With Tiger Woods Ya'll

I was listening to the radio this morning in the car (mistake). I was listening to a morning show where they started talking about Tiger Woods and his return to the Master's and some other scandal/affair/sexting/porn star. The guy says, rather emphatically, "Just shut up and play golf! We don't care how many women you've slept with, just play golf now."

Ohhhh ok. So NOW it's ok to stay out of this man's private life? Granted, once you place yourself in the spotlight by becoming a world famous golfer, you DO kinda close the door on having any privacy. But he did ask that we respect this time he's going through with his wife and we didn't. Everyone had their fun and their Tiger jokes completely and ONLY at his expense. No conversation could be had without making a Tiger joke. But now that he's returning, now it's alright to stay out of his life?

They went on to talk about one of the porn stars and I think maybe mentioned that she was going to attend the Masters or essentially do something to give him space or privacy. The radio commenters then said, "You are a porn star and have no right to make a moral statement! You have no standing in the world of morality. You have hard core sex for a living, therefore you have no basis to make such a statement." WHHHAAAT?! Talk about making a very judgemental statement. To say that she doesn't have a stand in the world of morality...because she's a porn star? And only because she's a porn star?? So because she chooses that as her profession, how she chooses to make money, that makes her immoral? Liking a shit ton of unadulterated sex makes her immoral? I'd say maybe killing people for a living and not feeling bad about it makes you closer to immoral. I dunno, that's just a guess.

I've boycotted this station before because of a racial remark and I'm getting closer to just completely boycotting it PERIOD. There's the right to an opinion and free speech, but I feel like you cross the line when you start calling others immoral and judging them as immoral, as if your Boston accent is any more appealing than a porn star having sex with a celebrity. Right.

Time to bring the iPod out for the drive into work.

Is The Perfect Day Possible?

No, I don't think so, but today was probably one of the closest I'll ever have to the perfect day. Who'd ever think that I'D have something close to a perfect day, which may have happened because I got up earlier.

We went to 8am Mass this morning because I didn't feel like fighting the crowd. I'm not the best Catholic and I will NEVER admit to even being a great one, but I do make an effort to go to Mass EVERY Sunday. I remembered last year's 10am Easter Mass and it was awful. Everyone who decided to come to reclaim their lost Catholicism came to Mass that Sunday and only that Sunday for that entire year. So ok, if that's the only Mass you're going to go to? At least go to one that isn't the most popular one. Instead, this year, I decided to take matters, or Jesus, into my own hands and attend the 8am Mass instead. And it was awesome. It wasn't too crowded and I wasn't feeling the breath of the person sitting next to me because they were that close.

Right after we got out, we went to breakfast at our normal diner and we didn't even wait! And the guy behind the counter is starting to remember us, which kinda made my day. Because I may have kinda made up my own name for him and started calling him Uncle Rob. Yeah. Irrelevant.

We were done with breakfast and Mass all by the time we would have gone to Mass normally. So we went grocery shopping. And we were done early. So we took LoschDog to the Arnold Arboretum for the day and wore him out. We laid around in the grass, took pictures, talked to other dog owners, and wore ourselves out. We got some of our favorite Jamaican food on the way home and spoiled that by eating ice cream as another stop on the way home. We then spent the rest of the afternoon baking batches of cookies, making dinner (roasted chicken) and lunch for the week.

I....am..exhausted. But happy. I had a good day. I had an amazing day. Will it last? Probably not, but I will take it for what it was worth and at least remember that I had a great day today.

Sexy Black Guy and One Asian Kid

Once again, I rode the T this afternoon into downtown Boston and 2 guys get on the train. They introduce themselves as "Sexy Black Guy and One Asian Kid" as their stage/show names. This was AFTER I got shoved into the doorway of the train to make room for them to do their show. I looked at them and the Sexy Black Guy said, "Why the dirty look, ma?" I looked at him like "REALLY? You HAVE to ask?"

I'm going to plead my case one more time: when you ask people to move on a crowded train just so you can do some flips in the aisle to some Michael Jackson music, DON'T expect a warm reception. So the Sexy Black Guy says, "Oh c'mon. I moved all the way out here from LA, and I want to feel welcome in Boston." To which I semi-loudly replied, "Well you came to the wrong city for THAT." Really, you came to Boston for a warm welcome? HA!

I just can't seem to shake the dancing guys on moving trains.

The Adventures of Lenti Losch #6

I've got nothing.
I try to curb headaches with some caffeine, which you can find in soda. But because I can't have a soda, I have to be creative in finding ways to ease the tension headaches and the migraines. I was on a medication to help with my migraines, but I just haven't been that great at taking it. So like usual, I prefer some Pepsi, some Excedrin, and a dark room.

But noooooo. Not yet. But it IS Good Friday. And Easter is on Sunday. Overall though, I don't really feel like I got much out of Lent. I think was better disciplined about not shoving junk food and meat in my face on Fridays, but other than that, I dunno. I didn't write enough notes because I've been too exhausted with work and not being in town. I'm making excuses. I have mixed emotions about this year. Is that possible? Can I have mixed emotions about something that isn't even ABOUT me?

Help!

Simple I Love You's

I'm so tired that I can't even wrap my head around anything. So all I want to say is thank you for reading my blog. Those that follow me, those that tell others about it. I love you. That's really about it. I love you much. :)

This Rain Has Taken Its Toll

Dear Mother Nature,

You were beautiful and awesome and loads of gorgeous. However, the last 2 days of rain in the Boston area have caused quite a stir. We are tired of the rain. There has been flooding and the freakin National Guard came in. This is getting out of control. I have friends with flooded apartments and they aren't happy. It's a mess out there.

Granted, I DO feel lucky that my apartment has remained dry. So I can't complain there. But I want to wear my spring skirts in the spring time instead of wearing them in the pouring rain and hoping that it will make me feel like it's spring. So listen up whore, this has got to stop. There are many unhappy people right now. Please consider this letter as my official request for the rain to stop and the sun to come back.

I expect this to be effective March 31, 2010 moving forward. My rain boots want to go back into the closet and my suede heels want to make their triumphant return.

Thank you in advance for your consideration,
LaLosch

I Didn't Abandon You, I Promise

Wow, I never go this long without blogging. I apologize. It's been a whirlwind of events the last few days. And there was also a reason why I hadn't been blogging.
First, for those that don't know yet (and I think most of you already know), ManLosch got a job! He's working downtown for an architecture firm. I'm extremely happy for him and it helps relieve a little stress you know? In addition to the new job, I got a promotion at work. So things have DEFINITELY been busy for the both of us, but in a good way!

Right after all that good news, we flew to Chicago to surprise FamLosch! Which means I will be updating the other blog very shortly. His dad was the only one who knew, as he picked us up from the airport. But the look on his mom's face was priceless. His sister's verbal reaction was "What the hell????...." It was a good time. It was a quick trip, but I hope everyone enjoyed the time while we were there.

(this is Tara, otherwise known as T-Lo. check out her link above. DO IT.)

Okay more updates later I promise. I just didn't want everyone thinking I forgot about them.

Massholes

I absolutely LOVE Bay State drivers! OMG. I love them. It's like I think when I get in the car every morning, "Man I can't wait to get cut off by another Masshole today. I can't live without it. I just can't."

Now that you're done inhaling that load of sarcasm, I was driving this afternoon to get my hair done after work. I have to drive into downtown Boston. Normally I'd just take the T, but because I only had 30 minutes, I wouldn't make it, so I drove and planned to let ManLosch take the car since he works downtown now. I get on Storrow, traffic is moving...and then it stops. We're crawling and I curse silently, because when a black woman is tryin' to go get her hair did, there are always a million and one things trying to prevent that from happening. There was really no space between the car in front of me and our car, but a lovely Honda decides to squeeze itself in between us with no turn signal; no indication at ALL that they wanted to merge into my lane.

So I took a photo. Because I figured, anyone who saved the money to have someone actually place a "In Loving Memory of Michael Jackson" decal on the back window of their car deserved to be recognized as the most awesome Masshole of the Day. Oh yeah, and that's TOTALLY a silhouette of MJ dancing too. Mmmhmm.

Stop Yer' Cryin...Maybe...

Every time I travel by air, I always have this problem: crying babies. I never seem to get away from crying babies or unruly children. Ones who kick my seat the whole flight, the ones who need an infinite amount of diaper changes (and the parents think its ok to do so on the tray table....ewwwww?????!!!). Oh and there are the parents who weigh 300 pounds and don't think they should buy a seat for their 2 year old. 2 year old children are NOT lap children.

So I'm reading CNN.com this morning and I come across this article, which I think you should read before responding to what I will inevitably ask you all.

 Fly and cry

Read it? Okay good. So I TOTALLY get it. I can be sympathetic and I definitely don't have a problem with the parents that really do try to calm the child down. I'm usually wrapped up in a book, my iPod, or my own fear of the plane crashing, that I'm not always paying attention to the wailing child in the back. The problem is, I've come across parents who just let the child cry, kick, and throw tantrums. The parents who EXPECT 200 other passengers to just suck it up and be ok with a crying infant. So maybe my biggest problem is that I (the childless passenger) should be expected to not have a problem with 2 1/2 hours of continuous crying, because, well, babies cry right? On the other hand, I DON'T agree with the other extreme, where everyone else thinks babies should just be banned from "..planes, movie theaters, restaurants, and any other public place for that matter." Uh hello? That's too much. I may joke about that, but in all seriousness, people with children have the right to go out and live a LIFE. Do WE expect them then to just sit at home in the dark caring for a crying child?

I think it comes down to compromise. Please don't allow your child to kick my seat on a full flight when I just want to enjoy my InStyle magazine and if I see that you're trying to calm the kid, then I can definitely be more sympathetic. If you aren't, I WILL say something and it will probably piss you off. But I feel that it's fair. That's really only on a plane, where I can't get off and take the next one (like a bus or train) or sit somewhere else in a restaurant if it was THAT bad.

What do you guys think about this? Do you fall in either extreme?

The Adventures of Lenti Losch #5

I can't wait to have a soda again. I just want a Sprite even, I don't need the dark soda with the caffeine. I'll take a Sprite. Lemon-lime....bubbles....mmmmm.

I'm also writing more notes. I'm not even half-way there, and I totally did NOTHING last weekend, but I'm trying to move myself. Motivate myself. Everyone likes something about 40 different people right? I'm starting to wonder if I actually do.....hmmm. I at least think I know 10 people with 4 different things about them that I can write. Right? Jah jah. You're down with it.

I don't know why, but Lent just isn't feeling me this year. Or maybe I'm not feeling it. Which is bad. I totally chose to be Catholic so I need to figure this out.

The Random Moments

Last night after getting an awesome soul food dinner, ManLosch and I were driving back home and I started talking about my grandmother and all of the random things she likes to say. I then remembered, very clearly, the moment where she denounced Catholicism in front of ManLosch and myself. ManLosch and I had been dating about 8 months at that point and she was talking about the priests who had "bad-touched" the little boys, which led her to say how horrible Catholics were. She did not know that ManLosch was Catholic. So I said, "Uhhh, Grammie. Ryan is Catholic." We sat there in silence. She said, "Oh well, they ALL aren't bad, but I mean, you can't ignore the little boys."

Those kinds of moments I remember very clearly; like the facial expressions, the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach, just EVERYTHING about it. It's a random moment, but I remember it very clearly. We all have those kinds of memories. Here are just a few more very clear memories I have:

• Coming back from my first off campus party in my freshman year of college, drunk, in lust, and peeing in the bushes outside of the Wellness Center because I couldn't hold it anymore.
• My first UM vs. FSU football game. Wide Right. It felt like 100 degrees out in my band uniform. I remember that being my first noon game in Miami in polyester. I nearly fainted from dehydration. I can still feel the sticky t-shirt on my back, waiting for the bus to come, laying in someone's lap after the game because I felt so horrible.
• My baptism, confirmation, and First Communion as an adult. My Miami family came out to support me. It's the only time when you get bibles as gifts as an adult.
• The time I fell down the steps of the Merrick Building during the rain with my Burger King breakfast. Luckily the only person who saw me was the cleaning lady and I think she was little too stunned to ask if I was alright. And I fell on my ass. It hurt. Alot.
• The day I picked LoschDog up from his surgery. He hobbled out to me and never looked so happy to see his mama. I honestly cried when I saw him.
• One afternoon in high school where my best friend Marcus found a campaign hat in my mothers closet and decided to wear it to the store. While crossing a bridge, he pretended to wave and people started honking. They thought he was seriously campaigning.

And I'd totally share more, except my laptop is a piece of crap and it took me a REAL long time to post this. What other moments do you remember like yesterday?

Gorgeous Weather

It's 10:17am. I refuse to stay in today, therefore, I'm going out to enjoy this beautiful weather. If you're in the Northeast, you should too! So go out, soak up the sun while we have it, and then come back and tell me what you did today, okay?

Have a beautiful, sunshiney day. :-)

Who Wins?

I was on the bus coming from Harvard Square tonight with ManLosch. It was full, not packed. There were some empty seats in the back. Well in the back there was an older woman sitting and a younger woman with her iPod on and it was REALLY loud. All of a sudden, the older woman turned to the younger woman and says, "Excuse me but can you PLEASE turn that down? Miss? Miss? Can you please turn it down?" The younger woman says "Uhh." The older woman says "I have a really bad headache and your music is too loud." The younger woman says, "Well why don't you just sit over there in THAT seat?" The older woman says, "Because I'm sitting here. I'm not moving."

I think the younger woman turned it down very little. So I asked ManLosch what he thought when we got off the bus. I said, "Who do you think wins? The woman who had the headache or the iPod wearer?" He said,"I side more with the woman with the headache, but only because I don't like obnoxious music that's really loud when I'm on the bus." I said, "Well aren't they BOTH being a little pretentious? Because I think of it this way: if I were the iPod wearer, I honestly wouldn't care that she had a headache, sounds like a personal problem. But on the other hand, there's the rule for the T that says you can't disturb other people with loud music, etc. I get both sides." I think in the end though, I agree with ManLosch. I've also been the victim of someone listening to their iPod WAY too loud and it was super annoying especially when I can't hear my own music.

So what do you think? Who wins?

The Break-Up, Part Trois

Regular yoga night tonight! I got a nice spot in the back. A girl who seemed normal enough placed her mat next to mine. After about 15 minutes, I said to myself "What's that smell??" It seemed to go away for awhile. Then it came back, so I'm like really..wtf is that smell?

Oh hey, I recognize that smell. It's that all too familiar scent of alcohol and shame. The whore next to me had come to yoga from her Saint Patty's Day festivities. Barf. Thanks for that. Shortly thereafter in Extended Child's Pose:, I heard another woman groan to Jill(yoga instructor), "How did you know I needed that? Oooooo.....oh yea....mmmmmmm" WTF?! She just helped her fit into the pose better but instead she sounded as if she were having the world's best orgasm (yea I was a tad jealous).

It's ok, I had my chance soon thereafter. During Pigeon Pose, I needed a better place to rest my head. She walked around and told me in the most soothing voice "You can already place your head on the floor, always do what is comfortable for you" and she totally rubbed my back. In that moment, I totally fell in love with my yoga teacher. I imagined bringing her home and introducing her to ManLosch as my new lady lover ("ManLosch meet Jill. We fell in love during Pigeon Pose) and then realized that I wasn't in love so much as really relaxed. After having a REAL good session tonight, she ends with "Namaste" and then busts out with the information that this will be her last yoga class at the BSC.

WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?! Huh? Wait, Jill. C'mon. Let's talk about this. I-I thought we had a connection! She then said that she got a full time job so she won't be able to teach the class anymore, but took our email addresses for a possible retreat and may teach a class in the future. I was in shock and mad because she's so awesome. She was talking to another woman as I was about to walk out and then waved at me and said "Thanks so much for always coming to my class, did you sign up on my list?" I said yes and asked a few more quick questions but the woman she was talking to was giving me the death stare as if I PURPOSELY interrupted their conversation. Look whore #2, she talked to ME. You aren't the only one in the room.

Why Jill? Why? I'll do anything; I'll come on a different night, I'll even swim in the pool and mess up my hair. All to get you to stay. Please?? :-(

Is The Colonel In???

No he's not, but maybe this man was trying to summon him with his narcotics usage. Oh Kentucky, you never cease to amaze....

Drunk, High Dad leaves baby in oven....

Useless...Useless I Tell Ya

So I made it to Best Buy tonight to have the Geek Squad look at my laptop and maybe give me an estimate. We roll on in (ManLosch and I) and he says "My network adapter on this laptop stopped working all of a sudden. It's inside the laptop and we were wondering if you could perhaps give us an estimate or a better idea of what's going on." The guy says "No. We would have to send it out off site so it's up the service repair center."

Aren't YA'LL the Geek Squad? To fix shit? And then even after we said "Really? You can't give us an ESTIMATE?" you still said "No." Not to mention the phone was ringing and you seemed real hell bent on getting that call. Was it your hooker for the night?

So after we left Best Buy, we went to MicroCenter. For you Floridians, it's a little like BrandsMart. When we walked in.....HOLY "40 Year Old Virgin." We went to repairs to see what they could tell us. She was REAL strange, but at least she said that if they were to check my laptop in, they'd have to charge me the initial $70 diagnostic thing..then it'd probably be about $300-and thats about when I stopped listening. $300 to fix my laptop. So after Wednesday Adams stopped talking about the ridic price to fix my laptop, she at least DID offer the temporary solution of using a wireless USB adapter. We walked over to the "Communications Department" and found one fairly cheap with Frodo's help (oh god i'm awful). We walked over to the laptops just to take a look and I swear all I could hear was "OH go fuck a goat!!!!" (if you've seen 40 Year Old Virgin....you get it). We checked out and I kicked Ryan in excitement. Because the guy at the other register was TOTALLY the bald black guy from the movie (Romany Malco). It was nothing short of amazing.

The verdict? I'm looking into new laptops. Sigh.

It CAN Get Worse...

...but it sure doesn't feel like it. Besides all my other personal shit, my laptop refuses to work. I tried to get an estimate on fixing it, and the guy was less than helpful.

I also don't like dealing with difficult applicants (all 3 of you) before 9:30 in the morning. Needless to say, my day is going SWIMMINGLY. Could you tell????

It could totally get worse though, and like the pessimistic person I am, I have my life preserver hanging up nearby, just waiting for the next bad thing. :-(

Grub Gone Blue-ish

I didn't blog about the Grub Gone...Blue event from Friday evening. I had an amazing time. I took my friend DiDi, as you needed tickets for the event. It was for the contest I entered and the two winners got to read their entries. No I didn't win, but hey, writing is about rejection. I was thrilled with myself that I actually submitted an entry. I feel like it's a great step forward.

The winners read (which I thought were so-so), and a few others read. Then Diana Joseph, author of "I'm Sorry You Feel That Way" read from that book. What's even more awesome about that is that I have that book on my bookshelf and it's waiting to be read. I'm just sad that I didn't have the book with me for her to sign. The room was PACKED but DiDi and I crammed ourselves on the floor by the open window and sucked it up. After those readings, there was a break (not to mention beer and snacks) before the Open Mic portion. DiDi and I decided to stick around for some of the Open Mic readings and met a guy named Jameson. Who meets people named Jameson?? WE DO. At writer's events. :-)

The Open Mic? WAS HORRRRRIBLE. OMG. DiDi and I had to do everything from choking on our own vomit. Ok, it wasn't that bad. But it was a wonderful wake up call; to never read work out loud unless it's been read over by at LEAST one other person. I think Open Mic's are great because it's an informal way to workshop your work out loud, but still. That doesn't mean everything is great. DiDi looked at my beer and said, "Oh my God, you aren't finished yet...I don't know how much more of this I can take" in between laughs. So I downed the rest of it and we laughed and talked Open Mic and writing on the walk to the T and on the T ride home. DiDi confirmed that my writing was way better than the Open Mic stuff and it felt good. I smiled on the inside and I'm still smiling.

Awesome night ya'll.

The Adventures of Lenti Losch #4

This Lent, I feel has been uneventful. I haven't been drinking soda. Some days I've been ok and others I haven't.Since Sunday's are not considered part of Lent, I had an apple soda last Sunday. I only drank about half of it (and it wasn't Lift...it was Goya...and it wasn't very good). So I went back to iced tea. Maybe my overall indifference has been good for me. I don't know. It's still not helping with my complexion though, so I'm not happy with that. I ain't givin up soda for NOTHIN here.

I have also written one note. I'm SO behind on this and I'm going to push myself into high gear this weekend and write a few.

I'm going to an event tonight where I THINK small appetizers will be served and it might take everything in me to not try one, as I guarantee they won't be fish appetizers. Effin Fish Fridays.

Anyway, a little off topic, I did post a one or two line blog about the new look of the blog, but no one really responded (well not on here anyway). And I never gave credit to the person who helped me out with the header photo. It's a few pictures that I had taken myself and that he used to create the header with his art skillz, bowstaff skillz, and computer hacking skillz (thanks Napoleon). So thanks Craig, for helping me out. I'm officially pimping out his services for all your HTML and design needs, however, since I'm the one pimping, I do get a share of this. Feel free to check out his photos on Flickr, with the provided link (because how else would you know where to find his photos? Duh.).